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Guess I have been dumped badly... .


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 27th January 2018, 5:27 AM   #1
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Guess I have been dumped badly... .

I dated a married woman whom I met in work when her husband was in prison.
Husband went in prison 2 times and she was angry and frustrated with the husband leaving her and their 3 year old kid with no responsibility.

I make her happy and understood her when she feels that no one does anymore during our times at work. She was happy that she met me and I have bought her quite alot of things ( food, new shirt etc. ) We have done sex also.

After 4 months of dating, her husband released from prison and things changed. She still meets me and talks to me and sex sometimes, but she got physically abuse by her husband due to some other problems. She was being slapped and choked 3 times. 3 times at different dates for your information. Slowly she lost interest in me and keep going back to the husband, which I dont understand why she keeps go back to him.

Husband did not help in contributing to her and their child, earning peanuts every month, cheated on his wife for 1 whole year on 2016, physically abused her. I just don't see anything wrong being a single mum since she was the one who provide her daughter much anyway.

Now it seems that she doesn't talk to me much or miss me much or love me much which sometimes she still said it to me but I felt the words are empty.

What's the point for me dating her. I know I shouldn't have dated her in the first place but guys, I was single for 8 to 9 years. I admit I was abit desperate but I leaped into a hole badly.

Just recently last 2 weeks we got a fight, because she found out I was complaining her to one of my friends, then she was furious. The next day she told me to find someone else and she is not the type of lady whom has free time . Saying me like a poison when she always said I am the best thing happened in her life and the one that truly makes her happy.

The day after we went NC ( No Contact ) for the whole day. Then the next day she called me and said : Someone didn't message me yesterday huh ?

I was like WTF ? after some communication, that's how I find out her words to me 2 days ago was because she was just angry. She went overboard and she still somehow wants me . I not sure to be honest how she feel in me now but I just felt distance and cold.

I do really love her guys, so please help me out. Nowadays, it's so hard to find a girlfriend.

Guys Any Advice please !?
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Old 27th January 2018, 5:45 AM   #2
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Her husband physically abusing her and she still wants him?
she has the typical mental issue codependent to the abuser.....
and its hard to be cured, at least u don't know how to cure that, it needs a lot professional effort and long term therapy.

if she can make a clear decision to cure her mental trouble, u still have the hope, if not, u better leave her.

Yes, it is so hard to find a gf nowadays,
but it will be even harder to get into toxic relationships.
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Old 27th January 2018, 5:52 AM   #3
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SpeedyMilkz,

Quote:
Guys Any Advice please !?
Why are you settling for a women who is married to a jailbird with an anger management problem?

Surely it isn't that difficult to find single women?

You do realise that if he finds out about you you're going to be toast?

Put as much distance between you and her as possible, block, delete, and go NC for your own safety.
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Old 27th January 2018, 8:47 AM   #4
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She’s using you.
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Old 27th January 2018, 9:24 AM   #5
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My advice: walk away.

She keeps choosing him. If she won't walk away from a convict who beats her, what does that tell you about her? At minimum, she has no sense.

Leave her to her choices & go find a woman who is available to date you.

Meanwhile get an STD test & consider moving so her husband can't find you. If he's the violent sort, this could be dangerous.
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Old 27th January 2018, 10:46 AM   #6
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There is no future with her, OP.

You need to let her go completely. She is in a complicated, abusive situation and cheating on top of that - imagine the husband turns up on your doorstep? What exactly do you think he'd do to you if he finds out you've been screwing his wife?

This was never going to end well for you. Please, for your own good, stay far away from her.
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Old 30th January 2018, 4:05 PM   #7
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I understand what you guys are saying. But now she still trying to contact me sometimes, and yet put the blame on me for not being understanding towards her. Seriously Wtf?

She even put her caption in whatsapp and skype saying " Don't rely on people too much, else end up they will think you are using them ". Like seriously ?! She is saying me since I am the only contact in her skype ?!

I seriously has no idea what is going on with her. The thing is the husband found out but did not do anything long ago.

The husband thought she ended things with me but he didnt know she is still contacting me . But everytime she contacts me also nothing much to tell me. She still can say I LOVE YOU after 3 days of no texting. I seriously have no idea wtf is going with this girl.

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 4th February 2018 at 10:39 AM.. Reason: language~T
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Old 30th January 2018, 4:14 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedyMilkZ View Post
I understand what you guys are saying. But now she still trying to contact me sometimes, and yet put the blame on me for not being understanding towards her. Seriously Wtf?

She even put her caption in whatsapp and skype saying " Don't rely on people too much, else end up they will think you are using them ". Like seriously ?! She is saying me since I am the only contact in her skype ?!

I seriously has no idea what is going on with her. The thing is the husband found out but did not do anything long ago.

The husband thought she ended things with me but he didnt know she is still contacting me . But everytime she contacts me also nothing much to tell me. She still can say I LOVE YOU after 3 days of no texting. I seriously have no idea wtf is going with this girl.
Attention seeking, she's keeping you on the reserve team, using you whenever she wants, break this off and move on, her problems are not yours

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 4th February 2018 at 10:40 AM..
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Old 30th January 2018, 4:50 PM   #9
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There is no future with this woman. I think the husband could be dangerous once he finds out she's still seeing you.

You need to move on for your own well-being--mentally and physically. Stop all contact, don't engage in the drama.
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Old 30th January 2018, 5:09 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by SpeedyMilkZ View Post
I seriously have no idea wtf is going with this girl.
Honestly, best to figure out what's going on in your own head.

The woman is emotionally and mentally dysfunctional. She prefers going back to her abusive, cheating and deadbeat husband. That in itself should tell you how unhealthy she is and how damaging she is going to be to your own wellbeing -- not forgetting if the husband finds out, you'll be minced meat.

You said you were alone for 8-9 years and latched onto this woman because you were desperate and you're still acting that way. Pick up your self-respect, aim higher and better your standards.
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Old 30th January 2018, 5:59 PM   #11
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Let's see - screwing a violent, physically and emotionally abusive ex-con's wife while he's in prison as well as after his release. Do you value your life much? Because this guy really doesn't get it. He's an emotional powder keg waiting to explode who's most certainly going back to the slammer, probably sooner rather than later. This is a train wreck that you want no part of. Because this guy would probably think nothing of burying you.
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Old 30th January 2018, 6:35 PM   #12
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You are also putting your health at risk. I sometimes work with people in the jail/prison population and men often contract diseases such as hepatitis and HIV. The guards often tell me how it is very upsetting how these men contract these diseases (even if they are in there for a short time) but they are not allowed to notify the wives/family members bc it is violation of health privacy laws.

You are risking your life in more ways than one. I'd try harder to meet someone elsewhere. Personally I'd rather be alone, hopeful and with less anxiety than deal with this scenario.
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Old 30th January 2018, 7:08 PM   #13
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Tell her you found another woman who has a husband serving time for a white collar crime.

That will show her.

But in all seriousness, run away from her, and maybe you should evaluate why you are attracted to this woman.
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Old 31st January 2018, 3:33 AM   #14
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Her husband found out about you and had zero reaction? I highly doubt that. Who told you he knew about you? Her? Because she's not someone whose word you can trust.

In any event, you can't really expect a healthy and sustainable relationship with a woman who cheats on her husband. She showed you from the beginning where her moral compass is and you went along with it. Yes, the way this all happened is painful for you but you need to take some accountability here too, OP. You willingly got involved with a married woman. Where did you really expect that to go?

Stay away from her and demand higher standards for yourself and the women you allow into your life. You're part of the problem here too.
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