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Serendipity55

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Serendipity55

Me again. I've been debating whether or not to post a new thread because I am worried I'll get a lot of unsympathetic responses.

 

I think I'm posting because I don't want to talk to xMM - not sure it's all that healthy. Equally don't want to talk to my friends and family because I care about what they think of me.

 

Anyway, my A has limped on and off for the last 6 months or so. Mainly I've called things off (99% of the time actually) for a whole host of reasons. After periods of NC (instigated by me always) a way back has materialised and I've got back into the A.

 

 

About a month ago we met to say "goodbye". We cried and we talked and we seemed to part knowing it was over and feeling heartbroken but resolved. However, after this meeting we had a minor scare - my xMM panicked that I might be pregnant with his child (I wasn't and wasn't panicked but he got into a tailspin) and had to face the reality of possibly and imminently coming clean and losing everything (he said he'd have to tell his W because he'd want to be involved in our non-existent child's life).

 

After the danger had passed (thankfully no pregnancy) he asked to meet "just to talk" and suggested we go for counselling to try and find a way back to being friends and not hating each other. I didn't hate him but I was really fed up of feeling hurt all the time (yes, partly my fault).

 

I said meeting wasn't a good idea - it would be too tempting for both just to fall back into the A because we're both addicted to it and to the comfort it very fleetingly provides when we're together.

 

Unfortunately my resolve waivered. He came to see me perform (I'm in a large group) and then invariably we ended up right where we started. He shouldn't have come (he wasn't going to) and I shouldn't have run straight back into his arms like an addict.

 

The days that followed were truly horrible (and I deserve to feel horrible I know that). I felt undone again and raw. He was still resolved to 'do the right thing' and that he couldn't bear the anxiety and panic that came with the A. He said things had changed for him majorly - although he loved and missed me the fear had become too great and he was too scared to continue. At which point I should rejoice and be glad he's freed me - and I am but his track record is he comes back. Maybe this is different? Time will only tell.

 

I understand, from reading many ex-MM's posts on here - mainly my great and treasured source of reality-doses - Mr Jenkins (a stranger in life but a friend on here), that at some stage the fear and anxiety of potentially losing it all becomes too much for the MM and they choose their family and end the A.

 

There has been no D-Day here but he has confided in his best-friend (that would have been really hard as he likes to be seen as a really great family man) and he's also had the fright of a possible D-Day (in his mind at least).

 

My xMM has told me he's staying for many reasons - children (first and foremost), maintaining his family unit (which includes his W), his extended family, his status, his worry his family wouldn't accept me, his worry our relationship is just a stressful as his M so why swap one difficult situation for another difficult one, his status as a 'good guy', etc and his fear of starting over again / the unknown (i.e. life with me). He said "his fear paralyses his love" for me. Fear of losing his life as he knows it and fear of the unknown.

 

I asked him if he still loves his wife and he said "I think so. Not as much as you but maybe I will in time. But who knows".

 

I think this is honest. He doesn't know how he feels about her as a romantic partner but he does see her as a member of his immediate family and he can't and won't turn his back on her without giving it more time. Plus he has two children and he has said over and over about not ever wanting to be a part-time dad.

 

He said he tried to talk to his W about not being happy / problems with their M but she wasn't receptive. He said she's never been a person to talk about her problems or have difficult conversations. He said he might try again but for him it's just about surviving now rather than trying to save his M. He just wants to work with her as a unit for their children.

 

I can't fault him for this - after all this is the right thing to do.

 

It's also the right thing for me - that this A end and that I move on.

 

I just wonder if / when he'll come back. We said some awful things to each other during the 'panic time' and vowed never to go near each other again and even after that awful period, we ended up together again.

 

As a result he's said to me "I can't say unequivocally it won't happen again because it happened after all we said and after the intense fear I feel about being discovered...I just feel I should do the right thing but I still want you. I just feel I can be different this time".

 

I've said to him in reply that it's over for me irregardless. I can't allow him to pick me up and put me down again. I can hear myself say these words but then I feel a longing for him and I miss him. Crazy because I don't miss the feeling of being a mistress and all that comes with it.

 

Jenkins said once that he told his xOW that he was staying for his kids (or played that card up) to minimise her pain. My xMM hasn't really done that - he's told me all of the reasons he stays. He said if I ever chose to tell his W that would be a consequence of his actions. So I think he's been honest - he hasn't said "I just stay for the kids" but he's also said "I don't know how I feel about my W but I need to try harder".

 

I guess it's irrelevant why he stays because he is and he never has once told me otherwise. I think I'm just posing these questions here because I don't want to speak to him about it and I feel alone.

 

I want this affair to end - because it was making me ill. I feel rejected by him but that's false pride.

 

He said to me "I love you, I really do but I love my family life more. I know I am in love with you and I think I am in love with my wife. But I'm not sure. I'm not even thinking about that aspect - all I'm thinking about is getting over you and focussing on my kids".

 

That's all I suppose I need to know but I guess just typing it all out helps with the acceptance that it's over and that is probably a good thing.

 

It's over. As it should be. I know that. I'm not a terrible person - I've done a terrible thing falling for the flattery of a married man but I wouldn't wilfully destroy lives, especially after being told 'you're just simply not enough'. I should never have gone near him and I should be thankful that it's over with just me and him hurting and I am.

 

Thanks for reading - go easy. I'm pretty fragile right now.

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Hi Serendipity, nice to hear from you again. I was hoping that you would come back and say that you finally kicked this man to the curb.

 

He can only come back if you let him come back. The choice is yours, you have all the control.

 

He really is the worst kind of MM. He comes and goes, gives you hope and then takes it away... why you have allowed him in your life for so long, I will never understand.

 

I hope that you find the strength to finally walk away and put this chapter of your life behind you...

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All great stuff apart from this ^^^

 

Which is why I say, he can only come back if she let's him come back. It is your decision serendipity, if this pain and uncertainty continues. Your decision alone.

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I want this affair to end - because it was making me ill. I feel rejected by him but that's false pride.

 

It's obvious you two have no will power so NC has to happen. Make it impossible for him to contact you, change your number if need be. Block him on all social media and remember, NC is for you to grieve and heal. It isn't about him, it's about you. No friendship, even causal can happen, it won't ever work.

 

Get counseling asap so you can gain strength and grieve this loss in a healthy way.

 

Be strong, don't be afraid of the pain that you'll feel. It's final, not continuous like what you've been feeling throughout your A.

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Hi Serendipity, nice to hear from you again. I was hoping that you would come back and say that you finally kicked this man to the curb.

 

He can only come back if you let him come back. The choice is yours, you have all the control.

 

He really is the worst kind of MM. He comes and goes, gives you hope and then takes it away... why you have allowed him in your life for so long, I will never understand.

 

I hope that you find the strength to finally walk away and put this chapter of your life behind you...

 

He isn't mean or malicious, he's selfish and sure maybe he is a 'nice good guy' but his behavior towards all in life (wife, kids, family, extended family) is a big fat LIE. He LIES to them all every single day. He may be 'honest' with you on some level but he truly is a gifted and skilled liar. His wife, kids, family - All important to him but he still wants you on the side...on his terms as long as he doesn't have to give anything up. It's good this A is over.

 

Everybody here agrees, you have the power. Who cares if he tries to come back! If you want him GONE from your life then don't let him back in.

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Me again. I've been debating whether or not to post a new thread because I am worried I'll get a lot of unsympathetic responses.

Oh please. Don't be silly. There is nothing more therapeutic than having all the lovely ladies on here pass judgement on you, jump on you and attack you and crucify you all at the same time. :p

 

I asked him if he still loves his wife and he said "I think so. Not as much as you but maybe I will in time. But who knows".

of course he loves you. and he also loves his wife. and his family. thats why he isn't leaving them for you. if you want him you -- then i guess you have to put an ultimatum down and stick to it. do you really want him to leave his family? he's going to be a mental mess for a very long time. you will have to deal with it and him. do you love him back enough to want to do that?

 

 

I think this is honest. He doesn't know how he feels about her as a romantic partner but he does see her as a member of his immediate family and he can't and won't turn his back on her without giving it more time. Plus he has two children and he has said over and over about not ever wanting to be a part-time dad.

 

I just wonder if / when he'll come back. We said some awful things to each other during the 'panic time' and vowed never to go near each other again and even after that awful period, we ended up together again.

I guess it's irrelevant why he stays because he is and he never has once told me otherwise. I think I'm just posing these questions here because I don't want to speak to him about it and I feel alone.

 

I want this affair to end - because it was making me ill. I feel rejected by him but that's false pride.

 

He said to me "I love you, I really do but I love my family life more. I know I am in love with you and I think I am in love with my wife. But I'm not sure. I'm not even thinking about that aspect - all I'm thinking about is getting over you and focussing on my kids".

It all sounds to me that you are in a major affair with a MM. Its not just physical and humping each other because you have nothing better to do with your time. You two are in a major emotional affair as well.

 

This guy has a family and kids he can go home to and find love and fall back on at anytime he needs to or choses to. You don't, do you? This affair is too intense for you and its screwing you up mentally and internally. You are getting the **** end of the stick here.

 

Sorry if this is coming across a too blunt and rude -- but perhaps you need a reality check. You need to decide what you want of and out of your love life. Odd's are this affair will just keep on coming and going until either he gets caught or you find another person to fall in love with who isn't attached and married.

Edited by jjgitties
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He isn't mean or malicious, he's selfish and sure maybe he is a 'nice good guy' but his behavior towards all in life (wife, kids, family, extended family) is a big fat LIE.

 

Well, if memory serves... Serendipity's husband passed away very young and very tragically, leaving her with an infant daughter to raise. In her grief, this "acquaintance" or family friend stepped into her life and he has done nothing but come and go from her life, giving her false hope by telling her that he loves her more than his wife while insisting (for the most part) that he will never leave his wife and children. And, every time she tried to pull back or end the relationship, he gaslights her and eventually finds a way to get back into her life. Just as his suggestion that they attend counselling such that they can continue to be in each others life as friends is a selfish thing to do, maintaining the tie and preventing Serendipity from moving on with her life.

 

Perhaps he didn't intend to be mean and malicious, but his actions have been exactly that.

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Well, if memory serves... Serendipity's husband passed away very young and very tragically, leaving her with an infant daughter to raise. In her grief, this "acquaintance" or family friend stepped into her life and he has done nothing but come and go from her life, giving her false hope by telling her that he loves her more than his wife while insisting (for the most part) that he will never leave his wife and children. And, every time she tried to pull back or end the relationship, he gaslights her and eventually finds a way to get back into her life. Just as his suggestion that they attend counselling such that they can continue to be in each others life as friends is a selfish thing to do, maintaining the tie and preventing Serendipity from moving on with her life.

 

Perhaps he didn't intend to be mean and malicious, but his actions have been exactly that.

 

If this is in fact the case, this guy is evil and bad news. He is preying on a single lonely woman to keep getting sex on the side. OP really needs to get her life in order and find someone who really loves her.

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If this is in fact the case, this guy is evil and bad news. He is preying on a single lonely woman to keep getting sex on the side. OP really needs to get her life in order and find someone who really loves her.

 

Which is why, those of us who have followed her story feel particularly protective of Serendipity... this man has taken advantage of her during a very vulnerable time in her life and there is nothing to respect about that.

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If this is in fact the case, this guy is evil and bad news. He is preying on a single lonely woman to keep getting sex on the side. OP really needs to get her life in order and find someone who really loves her.

 

As all the "judgemental, crucifying and attacking" woman on this forum have been telling her for a long long time....

But never mind we needed a man to point out the obvious...

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(((Serendipity)))

 

Lovely to see you back again (well, not really, because that normally means things have become tough again - but you know what I mean!). I'm honoured that you consider me a friend on here - know that the feeling is mutual and that I have learned a lot and taken great comfort and support from many of your very wise posts.

 

I'm really sorry things have been tough for you. You are both clearly addicted to each other and there are clearly genuine feelings both ways - just such tragic, impossible circumstances in which they've been allowed to develop. Yes, I think many MM become confused about their feelings for their wife because the feelings they experience in an A just blow them away. But many, including myself, and your MM, realise that it is the very fact that it is an affair - secret, forbidden, new, etc that heightens those feelings even more and that it is very unfair to compare the feelings in a long established marriage to these - and by extension, that it would be a MASSIVE risk to end the marriage and stake everything on a relationship that is largely untested in the real world. This doesn't undermine the feelings developed - they were genuine in my A for both participants, and this is clearly the case for you both too.

 

Of course, it's torture all round when it comes round to the heartbreaking ordeal of realising it has to end,, and would have been so much better for all of us if we'd managed to avoid the A in the first place, which changes us forever. But humans are humans, and people generally learn the hard way..... In the length of time it takes me to write this post, you can guarantee that several affairs have started somewhere in the world. Affairs that are destined to cause lots of pain, but the participants can't see it yet.

 

It's likely your MM is completely lost, torn and tortured. I've been there too. The difference is, that when I knew it had to end, I stayed away. Even though I had to often, metaphorically, lock myself in a room and throw away the key...I forced myself day after day after month.... And eventually year. I knew that if I slipped up, I would be causing untold damage directly to my wife, to the OW and myself and indirectly to lots of other people. This is what your MM needs to do for you I think. He needs to have more willpower and do it as an act of love. Even though it may not feel like it at the time, to stay away once a situation has been deemed impossible, is indeed an act of love. I truly hope he finds it in his heart to give you that gift, because there's such an exciting world out there, full of possibilities and promise.... If you could only be freed from your chains.

 

 

Oh, and by the way, I did indeed play up the 'kids' angle with the OW. It wasn't a lie - that genuinely was a huge factor. But it's true that were other factors as well, such as love for my wife (I had to believe it was possible to fully love her if I was going to attempt reconciliation) and obviously I didn't overplay that angle as it could have been quite hurtful.

 

I'll be back to post more soon. Thinking of you and crossing everything for you S. J x

Edited by jenkins95
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(((Serendipity)))

 

Lovely to see you back again (well, not really, because that normally means things have become tough again - but you know what I mean!). I'm honoured that you consider me a friend on here - know that the feeling is mutual and that I have learned a lot and taken great comfort and support from many of your very wise posts.

 

I'm really sorry things have been tough for you. You are both clearly addicted to each other and there are clearly genuine feelings both ways - just such tragic, impossible circumstances in which they've been allowed to develop. Yes, I think many MM become confused about their feelings for their wife because the feelings they experience in an A just blow them away. But many, including myself, and your MM, realise that it is the very fact that it is an affair - secret, forbidden, new, etc that heightens those feelings even more and that it is very unfair to compare the feelings in a long established marriage to these - and by extension, that it would be a MASSIVE risk to end the marriage and stake everything on a relationship that is largely untested in the real world. This doesn't undermine the feelings developed - they were genuine in my A for both participants, and this is clearly the case for you both too.

 

Of course, it's torture all round, and would have been so much better for all of us if we'd managed to avoid the A in the first place, which changes us forever. But humans are humans, and people generally learn the hard way..... In the length of time it takes me to write this post, you can guarantee that several affairs have started somewhere in the world. Affairs that are destined to cause lots of pain, but the participants can't see it yet.

 

It's likely your MM is completely lost, torn and tortured. I've been there too. The difference is, that when I knew it had to end, I stayed away. Even though I had to often, metaphorically, lock myself in a room and throw away the key...I forced myself day after day after month.... And eventually year. I knew that if I slipped up, I would be causing untold damage directly to my wife, to the OW and myself and indirectly to lots of other people. This is what your MM needs to do for you I think. He needs to have more willpower and do it as an act of love. Even though it may not feel like it at the time, to stay away once a situation has been deemed impossible, is indeed an act of love. I truly hope he finds it in his heart to give you that gift, because there's such an exciting world out there, full of possibilities and promise.... If you could only be freed from your chains.

 

I'll be back to post more soon. Thinking of you and crossing everything for you S. J x

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He will be back. Xmas is a very busy time for families so he is putting you away in your box for a while so that he can enjoy the holidays with his wife and children and extended family. He is taking a break from you so he can have a fun Christmas without feeling guilty. Once it's around mid January and life is back to normal he'll come looking for his fun on the side again. This will only end when you end it.

 

I see you are still pestering him for answers regarding his feelings for his wife. You still desperately want to hear and believe that he loves you more or that he doesn't love his wife. It's been a theme in all of your threads. Stop viewing this as some sort of competition between you and his wife. Love from your MM is no prize based on the way he treats those he claims to love.

 

It's all looks pretty straight forward to me from reading your threads. Your MM has only been married for about 18 months. He had a baby with his wife already when he married her and then they had another baby just this past summer. Your MM told you that before you came along his wife was the love of his life. But marriage and pregnancy and multiple children bring stress. It's not sexy and romantic. It's all work and responsibility. So the MM loves his wife and children but then you came into the picture and started giving him little mini vacations from his responsibiliies.

 

With a toddler and a baby his wife is too busy to give him the time and attention he thinks he's entitled to. So he has romance with you and he likes that but deep down he knows that an affair is different than a real relationship with responsibilities and obligations. His romantic feelings are probably stronger with you than with his wife but his wife is his family and family ties run deep. Romance, lust and sex are all really fun feelings but they are also volatile and unstable. Marriages can have lust and romance too but not all the time and certainly not when one spouse is stepping outside of the marriage and giving those things to an outsider.

 

Your MM is not confused. He does have feelings of romance and lust for you and to him that is a type of love that he enjoys. It's different than family love. Romantic and sexual love is more about getting and family love is more about giving. ideally a marriage should include both but romance and lust usually ebbs and flows in a marriage. It often gets ignored for awhile when babies and small children come into the picture. A person of integrity would not step outside of their marriage when this happens but cheaters are selfish. Your MM knows his affair with you is selfish and will never turn into anything more but he wants it anyways because he is selfish and self entitled.

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I think the difference being is that I do not think a Dday has occurred.

He has not had to face real consequences or choice.

 

He has continued on unabashed.

I guess, with the intention of keeping all the balls in the air.

Even now he is not actually closing things off for good, he is still proclaming love and that will always engender hope.

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He will be back. Xmas is a very busy time for families so he is putting you away in your box for a while so that he can enjoy the holidays with his wife and children and extended family. He is taking a break from you so he can have a fun Christmas without feeling guilty. Once it's around mid January and life is back to normal he'll come looking for his fun on the side again. This will only end when you end it.

 

I see you are still pestering him for answers regarding his feelings for his wife. You still desperately want to hear and believe that he loves you more or that he doesn't love his wife. It's been a theme in all of your threads. Stop viewing this as some sort of competition between you and his wife. Love from your MM is no prize based on the way he treats those he claims to love.

 

It's all looks pretty straight forward to me from reading your threads. Your MM has only been married for about 18 months. He had a baby with his wife already when he married her and then they had another baby just this past summer. Your MM told you that before you came along his wife was the love of his life. But marriage and pregnancy and multiple children bring stress. It's not sexy and romantic. It's all work and responsibility. So the MM loves his wife and children but then you came into the picture and started giving him little mini vacations from his responsibiliies.

 

With a toddler and a baby his wife is too busy to give him the time and attention he thinks he's entitled to. So he has romance with you and he likes that but deep down he knows that an affair is different than a real relationship with responsibilities and obligations. His romantic feelings are probably stronger with you than with his wife but his wife is his family and family ties run deep. Romance, lust and sex are all really fun feelings but they are also volatile and unstable. Marriages can have lust and romance too but not all the time and certainly not when one spouse is stepping outside of the marriage and giving those things to an outsider.

 

Your MM is not confused. He does have feelings of romance and lust for you and to him that is a type of love that he enjoys. It's different than family love. Romantic and sexual love is more about getting and family love is more about giving. ideally a marriage should include both but romance and lust usually ebbs and flows in a marriage. It often gets ignored for awhile when babies and small children come into the picture. A person of integrity would not step outside of their marriage when this happens but cheaters are selfish. Your MM knows his affair with you is selfish and will never turn into anything more but he wants it anyways because he is selfish and self entitled.

 

Oh man.. even worse than I thought. I cant figure out how a guy who just got married and is raising a toddler and new born is going around sneaking and having affairs with other women. i dont get it. when does he sleep? does he not work?

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He'll be back and you'll let him come back. I'd so love for you to prove me wrong on this one.

 

The fact is that as long as you allow him in and out of your life he'll do it.

 

Cheating with a pregnant wife is very low. Is this the man occupying your mind and heart?

 

Think about it. No decent man would do what he's done. Think about his wife and kids..... somebody needs to and he hasn't really done that in the past.

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Oh man.. even worse than I thought. I cant figure out how a guy who just got married and is raising a toddler and new born is going around sneaking and having affairs with other women. i dont get it. when does he sleep? does he not work?

 

Where there is a will, there is a way...

 

I had forgotten this aspect of the story. Just days after his child was born, while his wife was caring for a toddler and a newborn at home, he was chasing you for sex.

 

Like Anika, I too think that he will be back. The question becomes, will you let him back in Serendipity? I don't see a strong conviction from you that this is done. He is still calling the shots, making demands. You are still waiting to see what he will do next, if he will come back. At what point does it become more painful to continue this relationship than to let "the dream" of this man go...

Edited by BaileyB
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Where there is a will, there is a way...

 

 

well, he's a stronger man than me. i remember that time well. i was too busy dwelling on how to contain green alien poop and diapers.

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I feel for you.

You seem to view him as a great guy and quote his reasons for not being with you full time as though these weren't the same old same old excuses almost every OW hears.

If he cares so much about being a good guy and his family and children mean SO much to him, then he should really stop putting them at emotional risk by doing this back and forth with you.

You seem to to have high regards for his determination to be perceived as a Good Guy, and for a minute there, maybe you're forgetting that looking like a Good Guy and actually being one is not the same thing.

I think he has one person in mind-himself.

He likes his life, he loves his wife and he sounds to me like the type od MM that come Dday, would throw you under the bus so fast your head will spin.

I don't think he's confused at all. He wants you to be his OW, period. I think he does this push and pull to manage your expectations, to make sure you understand he's not leaving.

Also, I for one, am not impressed with his tears, especially when in the next sentence you describe a melt down over a pregnancy scare.

That panicked reactions reveals so much more about what he is really feeling and thinking than a bucket full of tears.

Counselling to be friends???

So this All Around Good Guy wants to go to counselling with his former mistress so that they can be friends and be in each other's lives. Spend time, money and invest emotional energy in to a relationship with his ex OW.

Let that sink in, sweetie.

He says he loves his wife, maybe even in love with her. What is his love worth if he's even entertaining this ludicrous idea.

He says he loves you (even more!) but he causes you pain and heartbreak.

Could it be that being "loved" by this person isn't exactly a prize?

I know you feel like you'll never get over him, but if you can reach the rational decision on your head that this is so bad for you, your heart will eventually follow. It might take months. A year. 2 years, whatever it takes.

There is a much brighter future for you out there.

Edited by imsosad
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Serendipity55

Thank you for all your responses - I should also add Bailey and Elaine and Sandy to my 'thank you' list. Re-reading your posts helps immeasurably.

 

Jenkins - thank you. You seem like such a good soul who has really changed - as hard is that is to do. We all talk about being better people but to do it takes strength and courage. That's what I need to find within myself.

 

My xMM said his marital problems are all down to me - that without me in his life they will probably get on much better. Perhaps this is true but I wonder if as you've all said I'm providing the romantic love that he wants and without me he'll struggle, which is why he's come back time and time again.

 

He's said he has to do right thing because he's scared but he messages me all the time / and even during his panic he kept asking me if we could deal with our new baby (he was convinced I was pregnant) as two people who loved each other once and if he had to tell his W about me he'd tell her he loved me and that we'd had a long-term relationship.

 

I'm not saying he's a good guy but I feel like when I read Jenkins' posts I'm reading his mind. Maybe I'm being too generous.

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My xMM said his marital problems are all down to me - that without me in his life they will probably get on much better. Perhaps this is true but I wonder if as you've all said I'm providing the romantic love that he wants and without me he'll struggle, which is why he's come back time and time again.

 

 

What a load of crap. This guy needs to grow a spine. He's using you. He's using his wife. You provide the romance and ego boost. His wife provides the stable environment and the continued sham he believes about himself about being a "good guy" and upstanding father. It's disgusting.

 

Once you are a year out from any and all contact from him you will vomit at his pathetic behavior and excuses.

 

The bottom line is that his love for you isn't more than his love for himself.

 

Show him what he lost. You end it. Walk away and never, ever contact or speak or respond to his messages again. You will rise from this. Better than before. I guarantee it. I know.

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My xMM said his marital problems are all down to me - that without me in his life they will probably get on much better.

 

I'm not saying he's a good guy but I feel like when I read Jenkins' posts I'm reading his mind. Maybe I'm being too generous.

 

I'm sad to say, I think you are being too generous. I don't know that I would put this man in the same category as Jenkins. He has yet to prove that he can take responsibility for his actions and do what's loving and right, even if it's the hard thing to do.

 

As for his "theory" about his marital problems, how convenient for him that he has someone else to blame... especially considering, he is the one who continues to contact you and meet with you for sex. If you are the problem in his marriage, then he is the person who invited you into his marriage... only he owns responsibility for that.

 

I hope you have a lovely holiday with your daughter Serendipity. Don't miss this special time with your daughter because you are perseveration on this man. And if I may, resolve to get him out of your life for good in 2018. Best wishes.

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What I have noticed in my joirney is that when you start to value yourself, you will drag thru it even when it seems impossible ...sobbing and moping. But you WILL get thru. why?, because you refuse to put yourself thru the shyt...just no.

 

Being generous is something you do to a person in genuine need or help. You arnt being generous here, you are being stupid to use your generosity on someone like this guy, theres nothing positive about it.

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