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3 years of waiting...for nothing


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 24th December 2017, 9:02 PM   #91
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Hi,

How are you holding up?
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Old 27th December 2017, 11:35 AM   #92
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Well I've made it through Christmas...nothing from exMM
And I haven't sent him anything either...I finally have had one cry free day

Now to New Years...New Years is tough for me because the last New Years we were to spend together...2015, he got angry I wasn't to be home at !2...I was working and had to clean up. He turned around and went back home saying "there's a reason we aren't together for the New Year" "you won't interfere with me trying to get my old life back" and blocked me so I couldn't even wish him at 12. Blocked me on FB and didn't speak to me for a week

Until he read my email...3 weeks later and came back

I was home at 12:20

Thanks for letting me put that out there...I needed to write it out
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Old 27th December 2017, 12:54 PM   #93
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Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
Well I've made it through Christmas...nothing from exMM
And I haven't sent him anything either...I finally have had one cry free day

Now to New Years...New Years is tough for me because the last New Years we were to spend together...2015, he got angry I wasn't to be home at !2...I was working and had to clean up. He turned around and went back home saying "there's a reason we aren't together for the New Year" "you won't interfere with me trying to get my old life back" and blocked me so I couldn't even wish him at 12. Blocked me on FB and didn't speak to me for a week

Until he read my email...3 weeks later and came back

I was home at 12:20

Thanks for letting me put that out there...I needed to write it out
He just wanted to make you feel bad because he knows he is the one who couldn't make a real relationship happen. Eff this guy.
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Old 27th December 2017, 3:21 PM   #94
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
Well I've made it through Christmas...nothing from exMM
And I haven't sent him anything either...I finally have had one cry free day

Now to New Years...New Years is tough for me because the last New Years we were to spend together...2015, he got angry I wasn't to be home at !2...I was working and had to clean up. He turned around and went back home saying "there's a reason we aren't together for the New Year" "you won't interfere with me trying to get my old life back" and blocked me so I couldn't even wish him at 12. Blocked me on FB and didn't speak to me for a week

Until he read my email...3 weeks later and came back

I was home at 12:20

Thanks for letting me put that out there...I needed to write it out
Wow...this guy is sick. He did that just to flip it around on you and make it your fault, make you feel guilty and want him even more. This guy is something else. This is another example of him trying to make himself into a victim, as if youíre manipulating him or something(in his eyes).

Youíre lucky you didnít end up with this guy. You donít see it now but you will. You didnít dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear bomb.
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Old 27th December 2017, 4:43 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
Well I've made it through Christmas...nothing from exMM
And I haven't sent him anything either...I finally have had one cry free day

Now to New Years...New Years is tough for me because the last New Years we were to spend together...2015, he got angry I wasn't to be home at !2...I was working and had to clean up. He turned around and went back home saying "there's a reason we aren't together for the New Year" "you won't interfere with me trying to get my old life back" and blocked me so I couldn't even wish him at 12. Blocked me on FB and didn't speak to me for a week

Until he read my email...3 weeks later and came back

I was home at 12:20

Thanks for letting me put that out there...I needed to write it out
Well that should make New Years easier for you. He was a jerk on New Years before. You have no warm fuzzy memories of him and New Years to drag you down and make you miss him. When you think of how horrible he treated you on New Years in 2015 then you can be thankful that you're not going to be treated so poorly this New Years.
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Old 27th December 2017, 7:39 PM   #96
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Originally Posted by Origin View Post
Wow...this guy is sick. He did that just to flip it around on you and make it your fault, make you feel guilty and want him even more. This guy is something else. This is another example of him trying to make himself into a victim, as if youíre manipulating him or something(in his eyes).

Youíre lucky you didnít end up with this guy. You donít see it now but you will. You didnít dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear bomb.

Origin is dead on. That's exactly how my xmm worked. He was the poor victim and I was the evil wrong-doer. Can you imagine living each day with them walking on eggshells? No thanks. He used to block me and never answer my calls or respond to texts when I 'crossed the line'. NC to teach me a lesson! Gawd....

2018 is our year to be free of these chains (ermm....that we built out of molten steel and other binding materials).
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:15 PM   #97
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OP - I just want to send you my utmost sympathy, as I have been in a very similar situation myself over the past few years and, am still very heartbroken myself. Also, my exMM heavenly moved out for a few weeks, to tell never was in a new relationship with someone else!! To add a nail coffin, he denied we were in a relationship and that he was seeing anyone shortly before!
You were very brave not to contact yours over Xmas, as I gave in early Boxing day! To get a just few words as a reply, thanking me. Not surprisingly, not asking how mine was either or a kiss at the end. Obviously I need to try and let go, as being friends is just not worth it!
Wishing you a happy 2018!
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Old 27th December 2017, 8:25 PM   #98
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Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
I was on here in 2015 after I was dumped by my MM after a 2 year affair. He claimed to want to do the right thing and try to make the marriage work for his children. I was devastated
He popped in and out of my life for the last 3 years..every couple months. He still cared and loved me, but was trying for the kids.
He contacted me in June stating the counseling had stopped because it wasn't going anywhere and the wife wasn't making any effort to reconcile..she has been living separate from him since 7/2015.

So in August after a couple of months of silence my Mom was sick, almost died in the hospital and he popped up again. So i asked him straight out what the deal was...why did he keep doing this to me. He said he still loved me and cared about me and didn't want me out of his life. To have faith that we had a future together

Well he has decided to finally file for divorce and take off that wedding band...unfortunately his feelings must have drastically changed over the last 4 months. He wouldn't answer any texts or calls from me. And he even told my best friend that he was letting the wife go, but he didn't know what to say to me...he didn't want me to think we would get back together right away...

Well he went on a date with another woman whom he "like a lot" according to my friend. He told her this after talking about me on Thursday. I don't understand. He knew I was waiting for him...yet he chose to take that ring off for someone else

I feel sick
Typical man-hoe, he wants all the hot side sex he can get
from women. Though none of those cheating women are not
good enough for him to marry.
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Old 27th December 2017, 10:33 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by Origin View Post
Wow...this guy is sick. He did that just to flip it around on you and make it your fault, make you feel guilty and want him even more. This guy is something else. This is another example of him trying to make himself into a victim, as if youíre manipulating him or something(in his eyes).

Youíre lucky you didnít end up with this guy. You donít see it now but you will. You didnít dodge a bullet, you dodged a nuclear bomb.
Yep, victims! A lot of these guys (and at times women, not picking on me), play victim. Mine used to tell me how much God was convicting him and when I'd ask what did one week to the next mean - when he wasn't feeling convicted - he'd say it was because he was ignoring God at that moment, be all cold, and walk away. Saying I must not understand him. Then the next week, show up with glowing eyes and a bright simile saying how much he loved me, and wanted to be with me

OP, your guy turned it on you to find a reason to not talk to you. Weak. I wish you much happiness in 2018 and hope you can forget him! You deserve better!
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Old 28th December 2017, 3:13 PM   #100
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yes Daisy...turned that on me...turned the last 3 years on me, my fault for sticking around waiting on him...my fault I knew the risk

Yes I know that all too well...but dang it, maybe one day he will take some responsibility for HIS actions too
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Old 28th December 2017, 4:43 PM   #101
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yes Daisy...turned that on me...turned the last 3 years on me, my fault for sticking around waiting on him...my fault I knew the risk

Yes I know that all too well...but dang it, maybe one day he will take some responsibility for HIS actions too
Good Morning Closure,
You did hang around at your own risk and it was a risky business waiting for somebody who was all over the place.

No he won't take responsibility for his actions cause he couldn't care less and he is not accountable to you in any way.

You say he is interested in somebody else? I have read that if a MM leaves the wife, he rarely chooses the OW in the end.
Best wishes with it all,
Poppy.
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:25 PM   #102
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And just like that...after he blocked me on his last social media site yesterday morning...I get this 12 hours last night around 8ish

"Merry New Year. Hope it's a good one for you"

Are you serious? WTH
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:08 AM   #103
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Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
And just like that...after he blocked me on his last social media site yesterday morning...I get this 12 hours last night around 8ish

"Merry New Year. Hope it's a good one for you"

Are you serious? WTH
Heh, this is comical. This is probably that phase where he will feel guilty so he will try and be nice, so you forgive him. Be careful so you donít take his niceness for him wanting to be with you.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:46 AM   #104
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Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
And just like that...after he blocked me on his last social media site yesterday morning...I get this 12 hours last night around 8ish

"Merry New Year. Hope it's a good one for you"

Are you serious? WTH
This is a no brainer.
If you guys are pretending to be chummy-buddy-friendly,than he is not a dickhead who used you as his Plan B and was ok with stringing you along. If he were, you wouldn't be exchanging holiday greetings, would you?
He is doing this to feel good about himself.
I hope you did not answer, and that he is now blocked from your email.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 1:33 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by lookingforclosure View Post
And just like that...after he blocked me on his last social media site yesterday morning...I get this 12 hours last night around 8ish

"Merry New Year. Hope it's a good one for you"

Are you serious? WTH
Just block him everywhere so you can move on from this drama. Start your NY off right.
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