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My EA has transitioned to PA plus I've asked for divorce


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

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Old 4th March 2018, 1:48 PM   #496
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Well they haven't been introduced nor seen each other. I still have to figure that bit out.
So is he visiting after she goes to bed or something? Or do you just not have your daughter very often? I'm confused about how they have not met but he still visits you every night.
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Old 4th March 2018, 2:08 PM   #497
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A mix of both. I only have her 3-4 days a week and he usually visits after 830 when she's been asleep for about an hour or so.
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Old 4th March 2018, 2:29 PM   #498
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A mix of both. I only have her 3-4 days a week and he usually visits after 830 when she's been asleep for about an hour or so.
Ah, ok. I got it now. Well, I actually tend to believe the sister-in-law about the sex, but I guess you'll have to find out for sure when you get home.
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Old 3rd June 2018, 8:48 AM   #499
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Its nice to see this site is back on! Well I have a bit of an update. My now BF and I are officially going to start living together in the next couple of months, were just now working through they transition period. My mom met him, they really liked each other which was good. Weve talked briefly about marriage but until both our divorces are finalized we said we sont approach the subject too often. Weve been together for 7 months now and weve been public longer than we had the affair for and we are deeply in love
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Old 3rd June 2018, 10:23 AM   #500
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Glad things are going well for you and that you're not in too much of a rush, as there's a lot to work out. Best wishes.
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Old 3rd June 2018, 10:53 AM   #501
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For your daughters sake, I hope it works out for you... though I remain sceptical.
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Old 31st October 2018, 3:30 AM   #502
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I'll try to keep it short. this man hunted me down (through social media). It all started flirty and we even sexted. but the more we know each other the more it becomes mellow and romantic and less and less "sexy".

We've said a few "i love yous" here and there, we've kissed. He keeps telling me I helped him find "his voice" again, that I'm the closest thing he's had to a best friend in a long time...

If it was only sex, I would have already given it to him (and he knows this), what would he get out telling me all of this?

the connection is genuine, it really is. But what does he actually want?
A year later, the answer is that he didn't know it himself when he first approached me. A lot of drama later everybody is in a good place. The kids love being around each other (although that was expected) and my relationship with them is going very smoothly. A year ago I would never had thought that kissing that man (that I just wanted to kiss to know how it felt to kiss someone else) would lead to the most loving and fulfilling relationship I've ever had.

I guess affairs sometimes are the way to meet a "soulmate" but because of how they work it's impossible to tell. The pain caused and the guilt will always be part of them but eventually we all get there (we did!) His exW has a boyfriend that she loves very much by all accounts. My exH is still looking but he's more at peace with everything else. He accepts he took me for granted for the whole time we were married and that I did the right thing (not the affair but leaving). I hope he finds someone one day.

Every now and then I get little glimpses that what we did was the right thing (definitely not the way to do it) but that were right for each other and we always were.
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Old 31st October 2018, 9:03 AM   #503
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1 whole year and bragging? I don't think you should be writing a book about the secrets to a successful relationship quite yet. Good luck.
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