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Old 27th September 2017, 1:32 PM   #1
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Roommates wife

New here so need advice.
6 months ago I moved in with a friend and his wife. Shortly after on a drunken night she and I began to flirt a little. Holding hands, and playing footsie. This continued for a week or 2 and then she began texting me. Was simple flirting at first and then became sexting on a few occasions. Her guilt always hit her hard after sexting, would barely look at me the next day and barely speak. Would always pick back up again. We expressed feelings for eac other many times. After a month half I suggested we stop. Expressed my strong feelings for her and my guilt. All she responded was that she agreed. Of course there was a lot of tension between us after for a few weeks. I even told her I would move out to which she refused my offer. So Iíve stayed. Over many times Iíve noticed her giving me looks and occasionally flirty. Other times very cold toward me.
Anytime weíd be alone in the apartment together she either stays in her room or leaves till her husband returns. I care for both of them as great friends and feel horrible.

We still catch each otherís looks often but this awkwardness is driving me nuts of her not wanting to be alone. (Side note, we never progressed to a physical level)

So Iím just trying to figure out if she likely canít stand the thought of being. Around me or simply doesnít trust herself or me to behave if alone together
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Old 27th September 2017, 1:52 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by Dawgfan99 View Post
Anytime weíd be alone in the apartment together she either stays in her room or leaves till her husband returns.
What can't you understand? This seems abundantly clear, how about you act a little grown up and stop all this stuff? You say you care for them both and yet you want to start a situation which will only end badly for everyone involved especially since the man trusts you to be in his house with his wife.

Unless of course you want a situation where he finds out you've been flirting and sexting his wife?
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Old 27th September 2017, 2:33 PM   #3
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Good for the wife in avoiding you while you two are alone, to be honest.

The deal is that she loves her Husband and is not willing to destroy her marriage, so instead eliminates all possible factors that could induce infidelity.

If any man ever tried crossing boundaries like that, my Husband would be notified immediately and the room mate would have 7 days to find a new roof.

I love my Hubby and I wish I could high five the married women on a job well done for standing by her man.

Stick to the single ladies, my friend.

I decided to ghost all guy friends I ever had and it was the best decision I ever made for my marriage.
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Old 27th September 2017, 3:03 PM   #4
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If you care for both of them as friends, don't rely on only asking her whether you should move out.

Do you think that her husband would want you to stay there, if he knew?

I'm not saying you have to confess but you do need to take him into account.

You need to get some distance here before disaster happens.
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Old 27th September 2017, 3:21 PM   #5
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She's avoiding temptation. I think you should move out. You don't need her blessing or permission to do so.
'Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, but trusting them not to'
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Old 28th September 2017, 7:13 PM   #6
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Look at it another way. What is the benefit/detriment ratio to YOU of
staying in this living situation? You are either uncomfortable with it or you get pleasure from knowing she's attracted to you knowing she is committed to your friend and third roommate.

Is the benefit worth it? If you are comfortable with the status quo then ask yourself what sort of friend you are to either. She's uncomfortable and probably feels like a prisoner in her own home. Why don't you lock yourself in your
Own room instead?

Too many strike outs on the single scene? (Not looking for your answer, just asking you to ask yourself the question).

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Old 29th September 2017, 6:22 AM   #7
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You and the wife are both in a trip - you are both needing attention. Get it from a lady who is free.
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