Iluv2tan Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 when you're married is it always considered an A or can you really be just FWB? We have no intention on leaving our SO but we do enjoy seeing each other and don't want that to change. Ya'll I know it's wrong and I'm a horrible person but please give me your honest thoughts. **we do chat here and there daily but only see each other about every other week Link to post Share on other sites
QuestioningSoul Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Are your spouses or SOs aware you're sleeping with someone else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iluv2tan Posted August 3, 2017 Author Share Posted August 3, 2017 No I forgot to add that part! Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Ask your SO to define it. As far as affair vs fwb....well you are both in relationships your SO don't know by definition it's an affair. But honestly, why does it matter? It's a betrayal, no wording can justify it 5 Link to post Share on other sites
QuestioningSoul Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 It doesn't have to be a love affair to be an affair. Many are sex only, and they're just as devastating to the unsuspecting SO. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Does KFC serve chicken or poultry? Does Burger King serve Beef or cow? If you are having sex with someone besides your spouse and they don't know and approve, you're having an affair. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 when you're married is it always considered an A or can you really be just FWB? We have no intention on leaving our SO but we do enjoy seeing each other and don't want that to change. Ya'll I know it's wrong and I'm a horrible person but please give me your honest thoughts. **we do chat here and there daily but only see each other about every other week Affair-FWB, potato-potatoe...Why does it even matter what you call what you are doing? Is this your attempt to try to minimize the horrible thing you are doing? To answer your question: It is an affair, and you are betraying your spouses in about the worst possible way only they don't even know it. Sad! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I had an affair with my FWB. to me affair means "cheating". Neither of us had any intention of leaving our spouses (and didn't) and we also agreed to not get emotionally involved (and didn't). It was still an affair 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I think the better question to ask is, if I have no intention of leaving, why am I risking my relationship for it? Why am I risking hurting someone I plan on being with. I can tell you, my wife had an affair, she was never able n love with the guy, could not even imagine trying to have a relationship with him, yet she betrayed me anyway. Doesn't make it better because of it. I really struggled with that aspect, if she loved him at least I could understand the risk. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Are you cheating or are you cheating? You'll find the answer there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
deadsoul Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 when you're married is it always considered an A or can you really be just FWB? We have no intention on leaving our SO but we do enjoy seeing each other and don't want that to change. Ya'll I know it's wrong and I'm a horrible person but please give me your honest thoughts. **we do chat here and there daily but only see each other about every other week Does it really matter what it's called? But if you want an answer, it's both. I'm asking this honestly, not to sound mean, but does calling it one or the other make it easier to compartmentalize what you're doing? Because that's what I did. And in the end, it was an A. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 It's an affair with you FWB. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 3, 2017 Share Posted August 3, 2017 when you're married is it always considered an A or can you really be just FWB? We have no intention on leaving our SO but we do enjoy seeing each other and don't want that to change. Ya'll I know it's wrong and I'm a horrible person but please give me your honest thoughts. **we do chat here and there daily but only see each other about every other week Yes it's still an affair when one or both parties are married or involved with someone else. FWB are between two single people..And you aren't single! Even though the 'intention' is just enjoying the sex and neither of you aren't planning on ending your marriages, it's still an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Does it really matter what it's called? But if you want an answer, it's both. I'm asking this honestly, not to sound mean, but does calling it one or the other make it easier to compartmentalize what you're doing? Because that's what I did. And in the end, it was an A. You might want to read this again. And when your husband finds out, and the odds say he will, you really think its going to matter what you call it. Youre cheating period and if you don't think you are because its just FWB why dont you tell your husband thats all it is so he doesn't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
rumblefish12 Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 when you're married is it always considered an A or can you really be just FWB? We have no intention on leaving our SO but we do enjoy seeing each other and don't want that to change. Ya'll I know it's wrong and I'm a horrible person but please give me your honest thoughts. **we do chat here and there daily but only see each other about every other week Something tells me that you are uncomfortable with having an affair, but it's not as bad if it is a FWB situation? If you are looking to define something, look up "rationalization." Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 if hes married hes having a affair, if hes single with a mw then to im its fwb Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 What difference does it make? If you're sneaking around there's no difference. Are you trying to find a way to justify it or something? Or make it "less bad?" It's not. Link to post Share on other sites
Southern Sun Posted August 4, 2017 Share Posted August 4, 2017 Others have essentially said this, but you're trying to minimize what you're doing through semantics. An affair is what you're doing; the FWB is WHO you're doing. At the end of the day, you are cheating with someone you don't even care about all that much. It will feel even more so to your spouse/SO. I promise it's not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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