Iluv2tan Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 I'm new to this so please don't rip me apart. I started talking to a MM and I'm also a MW. My question is does he think about me? Sounds strange I know but we went from talking on KIK all day to just a few messages here and there. He does have a very demanding job (detective) that calls him out at all hrs of the night and day. I haven't heard much from him except the occasional message throughout the day. He always messages me first. We also hooked up this past weekend! Anyways I guess what I'm saying is can he just stop thinking about me in a matter of days or is he maybe just busy? What can I do to make him think about me? We are also Facebook friends. Again please be easy on me ok thanks ya'll! Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 What makes you think anonymous forum members would know the answer to this question? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 We also hooked up this past weekend! Define "hooked up". Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Sounds strange I know but we went from talking on KIK all day to just a few messages here and there. Not strange at all, many MM act like this. Hot and cold, push and pull, is the hallmark of the married man. YOU are going to get very hurt here, as already you are pining for him... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 He probably thinks about your vagina more than your personality....if you want the truth. That and the excitement something new brings. That's all fun and no responsibility. You as a person? Your heart? Probably not and if you want to know for sure just tell his wife and see where you end up. Read around here, these don't end well 5 Link to post Share on other sites
starswewillnavigate Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 If I could go back and give myself advice to myself a year ago, it would be to tell my xMM to do one as soon as he pulled this bs. Do not let any man treat you like this. ok you've hooked up and you probably feel invested in this but walk away... actually run. These men, single and mm, will only treat you badly as long as you let them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Overtaxed Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 He probably thinks about your vagina more than your personality....if you want the truth. That and the excitement something new brings. That's all fun and no responsibility. You as a person? Your heart? Probably not and if you want to know for sure just tell his wife and see where you end up. Read around here, these don't end well ^^This I'm sorry do some reading here, you'll see. Men enter into A's for entirely different reasons than women. And that reason, very often, has nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with what's between your legs. And yes, what he's doing is classic "hook" stuff you do to keep a woman around without committing. Push/pull is absolutely hallmark of this; add in some blow outs, some love bombing.. Typical A behavior. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
misspalmy Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 all they think about is there selfs. dont waste your time on him, risk losing your husband on that mm, they all the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Iluv2tan Posted July 26, 2017 Author Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks ya'll! I may have said what I meant wrong! I'm not curious bc I want him to want me, I'm just sincerely curious? Does the MM think about the other woman in general? Nothing more nothing less. Thanks for not ripping me a new btw! Link to post Share on other sites
starswewillnavigate Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 They like the chase, and he probably did think about you/want you during that phase. There's nothing left to chase now, so I'm guessing he'll think of you next time he's horny, but that's it it you're a fait accompli. Don't waste time or energy thinking about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks ya'll! I may have said what I meant wrong! I'm not curious bc I want him to want me, I'm just sincerely curious? Does the MM think about the other woman in general? Nothing more nothing less. Thanks for not ripping me a new btw! REad crushedandlost's posts. Poppy. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks ya'll! I may have said what I meant wrong! I'm not curious bc I want him to want me, I'm just sincerely curious? Does the MM think about the other woman in general? Nothing more nothing less. Thanks for not ripping me a new btw! It is very difficult to say what YOUR MM thinks about you, we can tell you that most MM are in it for sex. or that a few MM fall head over heels, but we have no idea what YOUR MM is thinking. But the fact he apparently "love-bombed" you before sex and now hardly contacts you is not a good sign whether you are in an affair or in a normal relationship. YOU can make all the excuses you want for him but men who fall off the radar after sex are either not that interested, or are entitled and arrogant and playing games, or have psychological "issues", or are petrified the wife finds out, or the wife has found out.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Thanks ya'll! I may have said what I meant wrong! I'm not curious bc I want him to want me, I'm just sincerely curious? Does the MM think about the other woman in general? Nothing more nothing less. Thanks for not ripping me a new btw! In your opening post you asked how to get him to think about you. This sounds somewhat new and he sounds like he may be really good at compartmentalizing- you should think about if that's going to be ok with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 I'm new to this so please don't rip me apart. I started talking to a MM and I'm also a MW. My question is does he think about me? Sounds strange I know but we went from talking on KIK all day to just a few messages here and there. He does have a very demanding job (detective) that calls him out at all hrs of the night and day. I haven't heard much from him except the occasional message throughout the day. He always messages me first. We also hooked up this past weekend! Anyways I guess what I'm saying is can he just stop thinking about me in a matter of days or is he maybe just busy? What can I do to make him think about me? We are also Facebook friends. Again please be easy on me ok thanks ya'll! Was this your first time 'hooking up'? Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyLips Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 You never know what the other person thinks, but this situation is surely affecting you in a very bad way. So maybe it's better end this 'relationship'. Link to post Share on other sites
Inafishbowl Posted July 27, 2017 Share Posted July 27, 2017 As a MM who had an affair I can say that it all depends on your relationship. It sounds like a budding affair. Looks like it was just sex at this point. My affair lasted two years. I think about her every day still but know it will never work with her. I'm invested in my marriage now and direct my energy to that. Now for more serious thoughts. Affairs happen because there is something missing in relationships. No one has questioned your marriage yet here. Why are you stepping outside your marriage? I'd be more worried about that than the MM and what he is doing. Study the terms "limerence" and "affair fog". Also look at the "triangular theory of love" Understand new romance is totally different from an established one. This is what makes affairs so emotional and exciting for a lot of people. Affairs never end well. Some go on a long time but there is a reason and something unfulfilled in the marriages of the people involved. Decide what you want in your marraige. End it if you feel that's best. Don't count on your AP to do the same or even have anything to do with your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 28, 2017 Share Posted July 28, 2017 Yes he thinks about banging you. He thinks about how you look naked. Is he wondering how your day was, if you were stressed at work, is he wondering how he can make you happy? Probably not. Is he thinking about how much attention he needs to give you to get you naked again... Probably. The constant contact, the thinking of going messages, the reaching out first thing in the morning..... Then going quiet after he got the sex he wanted is CLASSIC. Now he will do the bare minimum to keep you on the hook, to get you naked again. And you were so high on the attention, loved all of the messages so much you will be happy to get naked again to hopefully keep his attention and flattery coming. It's the push pull. He wants sex, you want attention, and you will each barter for how much you get. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
freengreen Posted July 29, 2017 Share Posted July 29, 2017 It might ne a 'yes'... and a 'yes' is a trap. Link to post Share on other sites
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