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Having an affair with a married woman?


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Hi guys,

I have a question. I am 26 and single. I am attracted to a woman thats 38, very pretty but is married and has one kid with a 50 year old guy. We met on second date and made out and are getting comfortable. Her husband seems to be jeleous of me. She is apparently not happy of her marriage ( thats what she told me ). Where does it leave me? Should I pursue her? she is a 10 and blows me away with her beauty and emotional Intelligence.

 

What I am losing or gaining in this situation and if we proceed how will it go? Its a very messy situaion.

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It sounds like you're about half an inch away from doing something very foolish and destructive.

 

If you are able to override your base sensibilities, now would be a good time to do so.

 

 

Take care.

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LivingWaterPlease

How could you meet on second date? Did you stay incognito on first date?

 

Seems this woman cheats on her husband. Cheaters often tell their lovers they aren't happy in their marriages. Couple observations:

 

1. What's wrong with an adult who stays in an unhappy marriage? IOW doesn't either fix it or get out of it.

 

2. Possibly the reason she is not happy is because she's not taking care of the marriage because she's cheating instead of putting energy into the marriage.

 

This will always be a messy situation for you. If you should end up with her you will know you have a wife or girlfriend who cheats. Now isn't that just what you want in a partner?

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ShatteredLady
Hi guys,

I have a question. I am 26 and single. I am attracted to a woman thats 38, very pretty but is married and has one kid with a 50 year old guy. We met on second date and made out and are getting comfortable. Her husband seems to be jeleous of me. She is apparently not happy of her marriage ( thats what she told me ). Where does it leave me? Should I pursue her? she is a 10 and blows me away with her beauty and emotional Intelligence.

 

What I am losing or gaining in this situation and if we proceed how will it go? Its a very messy situaion.

 

 

Let me ask you to be very honest. Are you a player? Are you REALLY good at not getting emotionally involved in ANY way? Could this be a COMPLETELY SEXUAL MEANINGLESS fling?

 

If you can answer a positive "YES!!" to the above & you have zero morality then do what you want. You're going to anyway. I'd really want you not to peruse her because of the complete & utter devastation you could reap on her but you're the one here asking the question.

 

If you have any depth or sensitivity, RUN AWAY!! You are already making a monumental mistake that will destroy lives in ways you can't even start to imagine.

 

I have so many problems with your opening post. She is a MOTHER. You can't understand all that that means. You are about to change an innocent childs life FOREVER. Are you ready for that responsibility & guilt? I don't mean do you think you could play step-Daddy? It's so so so much more than that.

 

OF COURSE HER HUSBAND IS JEALOUS!! For goodness sake man!! I know you're young but REALLY?? People have gut instincts. My precious only brother took his life as a result of infidelity. You have no idea what you're getting into. You don't know that man. Of course she's not going to say "Oh he's wonderful. An amazing husband & father who lives for us!". If he's that bad why hasn't she divorced him? Please don't say she's some damsel in distress that you want to rescue. Just don't!!

 

"Emotional intelligence"???? I'm not even going to get started on that one! REALLY? Think about her actions with you. Does that statement really make any sense to you?

 

Read around these forums a bit. This one & the infidelity one. Just pick a few threads at random. Read the agony, the pain, the utter devastation. You are complicit in changing lives FOREVER! Even if their marriage survives this adultery NOTHING will EVER be the same again.

 

At 26 I know that I wouldn't of had a clue what the ramifications of infidelity would be. I truly believe that until you've experienced it first hand you couldn't possibly. It's one of the most agonizing life experiences known to man. Research what psychiatrists say. In not being dramatic! People kill, people die, people wish they were dead & it kills something inside.

 

What's your end-game? Look into the future. What would you want from this relationship? IT's NOT WORTH IT.

Edited by ShatteredLady
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present_tense

I was in exactly the same situation as you at the same age. I'm now a few years older and still picking up the pieces to the complete mess it made of me, whilst my exMW is happy back with her husband. Trust me, the massive highs ain't worth the other side that will eventually happen

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I mean, what are you looking for? An uncomplicated situation where you get your needs met without having to deal with the demands, manipulations, and nonsense of gals your age? Not ready to settle down with gals your age?

 

Uh, there's sexy, intelligent, and older women out there who are single and just want uncomplicated company...

 

Um, how do I know this? ;)

 

Too much drama with messing with a married mother, IMO. Affairs that are clean and don't affect the person's family are very rare. You're probably gonna get used, abused, and her husband might come after you too.

 

I'm sorry, and I just think it's gross when a woman/mother is cheating. I mean, if you orgasm inside her then she cuddles up to her husband and he does her - it's just gross. Gross. I watch Jerry Springer, Maury, Paternity Court and when I see all those women who are getting so much action that they can't pin down who is their baby's daddy - I just wanna vomit. :sick:

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Emotionally Intelligent women end one relationship before starting another. At best she is a confused woman seeking happiness, which means a relationship with her will be turbulent. At worst she is a manipulative cake eater looking for a boytoy for a little extra fun while maintaining the comfort of her marriage.

 

Either way, it all ends poorly for you, from being at different stages In life or her dragging you into a messy situation. Go find a single woman.

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OP:

 

You are at a fork in the road.

 

One road leads to you becoming someone you won't like to be.

 

The other leads to you becoming a man. A real man.

 

This world needs good men.

 

Be one.

 

 

Take care.

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What I am losing in this situation

 

Your dignity, self-respect and possibly your sanity.

 

Don't you have enough game to connect with a woman not already taken by someone else :confused::confused::confused: ???

 

Mr. Lucky

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The most intelligent and respectful thing to do is to walk away from her immediately. You will only get hurt. Her husband could make your life a living nightmare if he finds out and he will. Also if you believe in karma, do yourself a favor and avoid having to deal with the full circle of karmic justice. What goes around, comes around.

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Its best for you to find a single 10.

 

The after math is calculus, its painfully complex. Yes you are a hunk.. what if her man is hulk?. Trust me, you would not want it.

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Hi guys,

I have a question. I am 26 and single. I am attracted to a woman thats 38, very pretty but is married and has one kid with a 50 year old guy. We met on second date and made out and are getting comfortable. Her husband seems to be jeleous of me. She is apparently not happy of her marriage ( thats what she told me ). Where does it leave me? Should I pursue her? she is a 10 and blows me away with her beauty and emotional Intelligence.

 

What I am losing or gaining in this situation and if we proceed how will it go? Its a very messy situation.

 

Your ego is flying high. Here is a woman, a 10, probably way out of your league, who is interested in you.

Yes, she has a "old" husband, but he is of no threat to you, you are 26, fit and a "hunk".

If do get seriously involved she will definitely choose you, so there is no risk. You are already blown away by her and no doubt want to make her your own and get rid of that pesky husband - it is no big deal.

There is NO competition.

 

BUT she is married and has a child, so whilst you may be a fun distraction, it will need a big effort to prise her out of her marriage and that is where it all gets screwed up. Your ego is in for a very big hit.

She tells you her marriage is horrible, she tells you she will leave, she tells you that you are the love of her life, she tells you she can't leave just yet but soon, very soon, she tells you they are not having sex, she tells you they are going on holiday, she tells you she can't see you on Christmas day, she can't make your birthday but she will make it up to you, she is still leaving though, just not yet...

Meanwhile you get in deeper and deeper, you become obsessed with what you cannot have, the highs are so high but the lows are so low. Your ego will not let you give up. She WILL choose you.

You sit with your phone waiting for a call, a text, anything... You hate every moment she spends with him, you are trapped...

 

OR she moves fast and she moves in with you lock stock and barrel. YOU are her saviour and you then find you are a stepfather and are dealing with bringing up another man's child. a man who is angry and will make your life hell if he can.

 

You find yourself on the edge of a precipice here, I suggest you step back.

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Think about the kid. For once put something else above your own desires.

 

If you really think about it, this woman isn't the gem you think she is.

 

She's a horrible manipulative person and you are being manipulated.

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Gosh guys you all are so hard on the kid.

 

She is in a bad marriage because he has all the money. Is that really a question that you have to ask?

 

And yeah, you need to know if you can take the husband in a fight or if he carries a gun. Grown men don't take kindly to boys screwing their wives. So you can count on going toe to toe with this guy. Thing you need to know is that older men don't play with this stuff. I put my wife's lover in the hospital and he never came back.

 

If you think that you will fall in love with her, don't do it.

 

However, if you can hit it and leave it, go ahead. You know the risks. Oh and use a condom, you don't think you are the only young Hotie that she is sleeping with, do you?

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LivingWaterPlease
Think about the kid. For once put something else above your own desires.

 

If you really think about it, this woman isn't the gem you think she is.

 

She's a horrible manipulative person and you are being manipulated.

 

I haven't noticed you've been back posting, OP, but if you are reading this thread, or if someone else who has the same issue is reading it, the above is perfect and succinct advice. This woman you think is so wonderful is, as FusionCutter wrote, a horrible and manipulative person.

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