3 colleagues, 1 friend, 1 girlfriend, 1 cheater.

[whathaveidone1]

Hello guys.

 

I have an experience that has been devastating me for the last couple of days. This weekend I did what nobody should do. I slept with my friends girlfriend.

As it usually is, there is more to the story than simply the act than what it could be said with the clear statement of wrong doing done to my friend by me and her.

 

This is the story leading up to what should never, ever, have happened:

 

The first time I lied eyes upon her was about three years ago. We were two singles at the time, and met through her bff at the time, who were dating one of my friends. At the time, we didn't hook, but I thought she was beautiful and we got to know each other. We didn't keep contact after this. We did however meet again, when I for 1,5 years ago got a new job. She worked there as well. In the beginning there was some flirting, and at a workparty once, she tried to kiss me, and I turned her down. At that time she was in the very first steps into a relationship with a man that I've learned to be my friend, but that was also in the beginning stage of the friendship.

 

My friendship to him grew more solid as we drove to work together everyday, kept contact outside the workplace etc. She occationally came along on fishingtrips and other outdoors activities. He trusted me with the fact that they had started dating, and were getting closer and closer. A few months later, he told me that she had been out of town, and cheated with a guy that had been texting her since before they were dating, but she regretted everything. That was a very hard period of their relationship that took so much of him that he needed time of work (remember, we all work together) and alot of tears and anger on his part. I talked to him every day, supporting him, encouraging him to follow his heart, no matter what he might chose. He chose to stay with her, but was still in heartache.

 

A few months later, I went from working with him, to working closer with her. We went on parties etc, and since I moved to the other end of town, I didn't speak much to my friend, and the friendship was in decline. On one workparty, I accidentally touched her shoulder, and drunk as she was, told her boyfriend who was sober and at home. He came down in a hurry demanding an explanation. That was a lot of fuss for nothing and she claimed that I had made a move, which collides with my view on what happened.

 

We managed to square things up straight there, but we spoke even less and less. Now, two months later, I was invited by her and another friend, which had a birthdayparty for her best friend (and my other mates girlfriend). Her boyfriend wasn't invited, because he doesn't drink. We had fun, I had a full bottle of booze on the party. We also had a "truth or dare" game, and when asked if she wasn't involved with her current boyfriend, who she'd rather be with, she turned her eyes to me stating "You." After this, we went out on the town, drinking heavily. She kept a small grin and her eyes upon me the entire evening. I am not clear on how we ended up in my appartment, which is quite a long distance from the town, but we did. I checked my bank, and there were no reciet for a taxidrive, so she must've payed it.

 

When we got in, we ended up having sex from 3 A.M. till 10 A.M. and she suddenly said to me "I gotta go home now, don't ever tell him."

 

These days have been horrible, and I have this guilty feeling that I cannot shake. I feel extremely bad, and have tried to contact her, but she doesn't take my call, nor did she answer to my texts. When I finally got to ask her, she denied the entire thing, till I put in bluntly (still in text), and then she stated:" Nothing happened. You got drunk and went home to your place. I went home to mine. That's it, and I never want to hear of it again."

 

I think the moral correct thing here is to tell my friend and repent, but the thing is that we work at the same small confined workplace, which could sour the entire workplace area. It would also betray her, as I stated that I was fine with whatever choise she wanted to make.

 

People: What should I do?

Edited December 8, 2015 by whathaveidone1

[sandylee1]

You had enough warning that this girl had caused your friend heartache and he had warned you off her by coming to the party.

 

She already cheated on him, she called him on you and you weren't sensible enough to stay away from her... ..I don't know what to tell you.... except find another job and stay away from the both of them.

 

Oh yes....... and if you cannot recall drunken actions... you need to stop drinking. It's not an attractive quality in either gender.

[whathaveidone1]

Well, the thing is that both her, me and the two others are friends as well as colleagues, so the parties are almost a mandatory thing, which is hard to avoid, if you want to have social relations to the people at work.

 

Quitting my job is really out of the question, but I think I might let it stay put to see how the situation escalates. This was never an intention, and I tried to friendzone her, but I made a huge mistake, which I presently regret horribly.

[Lobouspo]

Well, the thing is that both her, me and the two others are friends as well as colleagues, so the parties are almost a mandatory thing, which is hard to avoid, if you want to have social relations to the people at work.

 

Quitting my job is really out of the question, but I think I might let it stay put to see how the situation escalates. This was never an intention, and I tried to friendzone her, but I made a huge mistake, which I presently regret horribly.

 

Lol....are you serious? I'm glad I don't have you as a friend

[MJJean]

What you do is tell your friend and profusely apologize.

 

You kept hanging around with this toxic female and you had your good time with her knowing the potential for workplace drama and knowing it would hurt your friend. Now it's time to be accountable for your actions.

[Ms. Faust]

You're lucky she didn't accuse you of rape. She sounds like the type to do such a thing.

[whathaveidone1]

She hit on me, not the other way. She was just tipsy, when I on the other hand were drunk. Remember that I had been drinking a bottle of booze. She paid for the taxi home ( I dont remember the sequence, but I checked on the internetbank). I am going to tell him, and remember that I never wanted this, I know that I have done something so horribly wrong, which there are no excuses for. I never wanted this.

[whathaveidone1]

You're lucky she didn't accuse you of rape. She sounds like the type to do such a thing.

 

Well, our common friends (i've spoken to a mutual friend at the party), and she confirmed that she was into me the whole evening, so she would have a hard time backing that up.

[whathaveidone1]

Lol....are you serious? I'm glad I don't have you as a friend

 

I am usually a very good friend, but if you are drunk enough, she is hot enough and tries to get into your pants isn't always as easy as it sounds. Having a friends girl hit on me has only happened one time (exept for the time I mentioned above, on the workparty), and it will never ever happen again, I learned this.

 

Normally I am a nice guy. Sometimes good guys does mistakes as well, even if this one was of a grave character.

Edited December 11, 2015 by whathaveidone1

[drallafi]

Take it to the grave.

[Lady2163]

What do you hope to accomplish by telling him?

You say you can't quit your job, but this will cause problems at work.

 

I say, start looking for another job TOMORROW. Find another job, then tell him if you must.

 

And yeah. Might want to scale back on the drinking. Drinking makes people stupid.