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I Hate That...MM


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What_Did_I_Do

I hate that I allowed you MM, to win me over with your charm so many years ago. I hate that you persisted until I gave in.

 

I hate that you are the ideal man for me but you belong to her.

 

I hate that when we are in a room together with a crowd, how I cannot stop stealing glances at you and marvelling at your incredible good looks, poise and the ease in which you carry a room. I hate that you don't look at me the same. You used to.

 

I hate that I believed your stories of your loveless M and how we needed to work on a plan to be together. I hate that the 'plan' has now faded to black.

 

I hate that I so stupidly allowed my M to fail and yours is still strong. Believing your lies. I hate that I hurt my xH and my own spirit. My cross to bear until the day I die.

 

You told me for years how you want 'me to be me' but I am not that person anymore. She is gone forever. I hate that I've turned into a needy, insecure mess of a human being. Teetering along the edges of severe depression.

 

I hate that I wait by the phone for anything from you and that I've become such nuisance in your world. But then the moment I pull away you reel me back in.

 

I hate that I don't have the strength to walk away from you. Why?

 

I hate that I love you so much and it is not reciprocated anymore.

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I hate that I allowed you MM, to win me over with your charm so many years ago. I hate that you persisted until I gave in.

 

I hate that you are the ideal man for me but you belong to her.

 

I hate that when we are in a room together with a crowd, how I cannot stop stealing glances at you and marvelling at your incredible good looks, poise and the ease in which you carry a room. I hate that you don't look at me the same. You used to.

 

I hate that I believed your stories of your loveless M and how we needed to work on a plan to be together. I hate that the 'plan' has now faded to black.

 

I hate that I so stupidly allowed my M to fail and yours is still strong. Believing your lies. I hate that I hurt my xH and my own spirit. My cross to bear until the day I die.

 

You told me for years how you want 'me to be me' but I am not that person anymore. She is gone forever. I hate that I've turned into a needy, insecure mess of a human being. Teetering along the edges of severe depression.

 

I hate that I wait by the phone for anything from you and that I've become such nuisance in your world. But then the moment I pull away you reel me back in.

 

I hate that I don't have the strength to walk away from you. Why?

 

I hate that I love you so much and it is not reciprocated anymore.

 

Sounds like you need to love yourself a little bit more.

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This is so sad WhatdidIdo :( I really hope you take your power back and be the person you were. We are who we are, life situations can knock us down at times, although we have the choice to get back up and be strong for ourselves. Would it not feel powering to leave this other person in the dust and put yourself first. Make him a faded memory, that's What YOU should do.

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How can you say all of this?

 

I hate that I allowed you MM, to win me over with your charm so many years ago. I hate that you persisted until I gave in.

 

I hate that I believed your stories of your loveless M and how we needed to work on a plan to be together. I hate that the 'plan' has now faded to black.

 

I hate that I so stupidly allowed my M to fail and yours is still strong. Believing your lies. I hate that I hurt my xH and my own spirit. My cross to bear until the day I die.

 

You told me for years how you want 'me to be me' but I am not that person anymore. She is gone forever. I hate that I've turned into a needy, insecure mess of a human being. Teetering along the edges of severe depression.

 

I hate that I wait by the phone for anything from you and that I've become such nuisance in your world. But then the moment I pull away you reel me back in.

 

I hate that I love you so much and it is not reciprocated anymore.

 

And yet still believe this?

 

I hate that you are the ideal man for me but you belong to her.
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in going and reading your prior posts, you can piece together what happened between you two. you seem to be totally infatuated with him to the point of reverence. all the things that you admire are pretty shallow... that's exactly what this man is- SHALLOW. which, sorry to say, makes you the same. you're not actually "in love" with him... you're in love with the idea of him- what he stands for. this is not real love.

 

i'm not sure i'm clear about him pushing you to damage your marriage. you did that all on your own. what exactly is/was the story on the demise of your marriage? where you unhappy? did you feel neglected... is that how this man reeled you in? it doesn't seem as if your husband was a "bad" man. what was the real deal with that, if i may ask. sounds to me, you were made promises that weren't kept and know you lament that you didn't have a backup plan- as in your husband waiting in the wings- and are now resentful over the fact your precious MM did have one.

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Oh gosh I'm so sorry to read that.

 

So incredibly hard when you look at someone and think they are perfect for "you", but they belong to someone else.

 

I hope you can start to heal and find peace.

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I hate him on your behalf as I read this, Hun. If he truly loved you, at this stage he would realize how much he is damaging you and would let you go. Unfortunately he's too deluded to realize this and may not be capable of loving another person in the way that you or his W deserve because he's too busy loving himself.

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