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Seeking advice


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I've been on both sides so I must say that I know first hand what it feels like to be cheated on. I was married to an unfaithful man for 12 years. Although I never imagined myself in such a situation, I am now the OW.

 

I have been single for over 5 year now. I met my MM (then single) in the Spring of 2001 and we were instantly attracted to each other. We work for the same company but rarely see each other at work. I later ran into him months later and then we dated for three months. We saw each other and talked to one another nearly everyday...we loved each others company.

 

He had previously lived with another woman (which is now his wife). I honestly believe he still had feelings for her at that time. We would talk about her on occasion but she was no threat....she was living in Spain with another man.

 

He and I never fought and he was always attentive and in touch with my very need. He was amazing.....truly amazing. I was in a bad point in my life and was going through divorce and criminal charges against my ex-husband. One night, I broke it off with him for no apparent reason. I guess I was being moody from stress. Little did I know, I lost the love of my life that night.....forever....or is it forever??

 

After that night I didn't speak to him for six months. I ran into him at the same place on he same night I originally met him, only one year later. He then told me he had gotten married to the ex-live-in girlfriend he had prior to me. I explained to him that I was happy for him and I didn't want to become a problem in his marriage. Although, we kissed and I told him I loved him...we agreed to remain friends and did this for a year, meeting occasionally for lunch.

 

Friends of his told me (who knew his wife) that the marriage won't last. I think he realized he made a mistake in getting married.

 

Of course I was carrying on with my single life and got in a 9-month relationship with another man. My MM was very supportive and gave me advice in that relationship. Finally, in June 2003, I broke it off with my boyfriend and the situation changed between my MM and I.

 

We decided to become intimate with each other again. It is like fireworks....truly amazing. I have never loved man more than I love him. We have occasional encounters that satisfy us both. The relationship is totally on his terms which is fine with me. Still in my life, I am juggling my kids, my career, my education.....it is hard for me to commit myself to relationship with any other man. My boyfriends in the past usually demand more than I can give them. My MM fits in perfectly.

 

My question is...do you all feel there could be a future in this relationship? I know he is unhappy in his marriage. Should I hold on if I'm content? I am in my 30s and he is 8 years older, in his 40s. Any advice would be helpful.

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I would be scared. This relationship can go in any directions at any time. I honestly dont know what to tell you. Time will tell but be ready for anything. AND I MEAN ANYTHING. This is scary.

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Emotions get involved and he may start to act differently towards you. He might start to have a change of heart for his w. This kind of stuff is very crazy sometimes. I'm telling you. keep reading this forum. you will see.

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