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My journey/how it's gotten easier...


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Hey guys,

 

Just wanted to give an update and let you know how it's gotten easier for me... maybe this post will help all the other OW/OM too.

 

So, I was originally having a lot of difficulty with my MM's busy schedule and lack of communication between us. I finally did express it and though he said he thought I was being ridiculous, I told him to put himself in my shoes. A text or a call doesn't take much time out of your day. After that he did a good job of texting or calling just to say hi.

 

But at that point I really realized that he will never be able to be there for me. When I'm at home upset or stressed or need a hug... he can't be there. That was my turning point and I really sat back and looked at things. Here's the thing that really helped me/slapped me in the face: I realized that this was not a relationship. In a relationship, you're a priority, you come first, your relationship comes first. Ever hear the quote "Don't make someone a priority when you're only an option?" I'm only an option- I'm there when and if he has the time.

 

Now, that being said, I do love him with all of my heart but I have also learned that true love is unconditional and expects nothing. He didn't ask for me to love him, in fact neither of us asked for this at all... it just happened. And he doesn't love me back. I know he genuinely cares about me, but that is all it will ever be.

 

They say it takes 2 weeks to break a habit... things have been this way for about that now. I don't sit home and wait for him to contact me anymore, I think about him less and when I do I make sure it's only good or realistic thoughts. When he does reach out to me, it brings a smile to my face and I'm okay with that. We will always be great friends and I have to enjoy what I do have of him, but not limit myself. One day I will be a priority to someone and I will be happy, and someone will love me and give me all of himself... I'm not postponing my life because of MM. We could never be together anyway. I love him and will always be here for him, I'm sure we will be friends forever, but I'm more worried about myself now and plan on keeping it that way.

 

I've learned that sometimes life is just about enjoying things for what they are at the moment. "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

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Oldspiceywolf

As long as you keep you options open and realize you're not a priority you can enjoy the time together as just one aspect of your life and when something better comes along you can be as casual with him as he is with you. Nice reframing!

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