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Married woman having sexual feelings for another married man


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So I am obviously starting this thread because I am feeling quite guilty about the way I have been feeling/thinking about another married man. I am myself am married to someone that is a great man and loves me very much. I first thought about this other man (coworker) when I was lying in bed with my husband after a night of drinking.. Which then only made me think about him more afterward. Now I find myself feeling a very strong sexual chemistry when I am around him one on one (though no flirting or anything is going on at all) I have never felt this type of want before. I am considerably an attractive person and don't find him super attractive but very aroused even by his presence? Very strange being that we do not really share personal info since we havent known each other for long nor flirt as I've said. Hopefully someone can weigh in on what is going on because I surely do not know. I find myself dressing for him or the thought of him seeing me. Thinking about him constantly.. What is my problem? Do u think this is all manifesting in my head or is this coming for somewhere else?

 

thoroughly confused!

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eleanorrigby

You are just having a crush. I used to crush on someone new at work every six months. All they had to do was be nice to me. :oJust don't act upon it, you could end up ruining everything in your life.

 

Don't start sharing info with him and don't touch him. In fact, just back away all together and get very professional with him.

Edited by eleanorrigby
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I have had crushes before.. This is different! I have never felt such a sexual desire for someone. I feel like it could jeopardize my career because I keep thinking of ways to act on it. What's even worse is that I have confessed these feelings to a friend that is in a similar situation only it is a full blown affair and she almost encourages my feelings stating that I wouldn't be feeling this way unless he was, which makes it more of a challenge/interest of mine now to find out if its just me feeling it..

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michelangelo
I have had crushes before.. This is different! I have never felt such a sexual desire for someone. I feel like it could jeopardize my career because I keep thinking of ways to act on it. What's even worse is that I have confessed these feelings to a friend that is in a similar situation only it is a full blown affair and she almost encourages my feelings stating that I wouldn't be feeling this way unless he was, which makes it more of a challenge/interest of mine now to find out if its just me feeling it..

 

NOPE, this is not different from a crush, just a stronger one.

 

Do NOT act on it. Think with your brain, not your genitals.

 

Take the advice given earlier, detach from that guy and reflect on the good life you are wondering if you can either blow up fast or blow up in secret.

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I have had crushes before.. This is different! I have never felt such a sexual desire for someone. I feel like it could jeopardize my career because I keep thinking of ways to act on it. What's even worse is that I have confessed these feelings to a friend that is in a similar situation only it is a full blown affair and she almost encourages my feelings stating that I wouldn't be feeling this way unless he was, which makes it more of a challenge/interest of mine now to find out if its just me feeling it..

 

 

Well, with a friend like this you don't need enemies.

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eleanorrigby
I have had crushes before.. This is different! I have never felt such a sexual desire for someone. I feel like it could jeopardize my career because I keep thinking of ways to act on it. What's even worse is that I have confessed these feelings to a friend that is in a similar situation only it is a full blown affair and she almost encourages my feelings stating that I wouldn't be feeling this way unless he was, which makes it more of a challenge/interest of mine now to find out if its just me feeling it..

 

It's not different. You are on the precipice of destroying your marriage. Right now this guy is still just a guy, you don't love him, you haven't even really flirted with him yet. All you have to do is pull back and let the crush feeling run its course.

 

There won't be another easier moment to pull back and stop the madness before it starts.

 

Reverse direction immediately and save yourself and other people some pain.

 

(Stop talking to your friend about this guy altogether, plead momentary insanity and tell her you don't want to talk about it anymore. People love partners in crime and someone to commiserate with. Don't let her recruit you for that position.)

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whichwayisup

You are making it worse by thinking of him and giving yourself permission to have sexual fantasies and thoughts about him. You are making efforts by dressing up in hopes for him to notice you... BIG MISTAKE. Please stop before things take a turn for the worse.

 

You have a great husband at home. Channel that energy into him and go out on date nights. Spice things up and have fun. Forget the other guy.

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whichwayisup
I have had crushes before.. This is different! I have never felt such a sexual desire for someone. I feel like it could jeopardize my career because I keep thinking of ways to act on it. What's even worse is that I have confessed these feelings to a friend that is in a similar situation only it is a full blown affair and she almost encourages my feelings stating that I wouldn't be feeling this way unless he was, which makes it more of a challenge/interest of mine now to find out if its just me feeling it..

 

You are feeding it and helping it along. Sexual crushes are really dangerous and it's very easy to put yourself in a situation that could lead to something else.

 

Not only your career and reputation, your marriage too!! Your whole life as you know it will change. All for what? Lust? Sexual attraction to some guy at work. Is it worth it? I hope not.

 

 

 

Make yourself just stop thinking of him and focus on your husband and family.

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I agree 100% about staying away.. but I am actually in a "training course" of sorts with him at the moment. I do feel that these feelings will subdue once I am not alone or semi alone with him every single day. After tomorrow it will only be the two of us together and alone in this "class". I feel it nearly the entire time we are in that room. I appreciate the advice and totally agree that I need to stop talking about it to a friend that's going to co-sign my bull****

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I just don't understand Why the "crush" if he is not physically attractive to me (obviously he is but not by looks) we have not been personal nor flirtatious.. It makes NO sense to me. It's not like I am sheltered or haven't been in the presence of other men or even had opportunity that never acted on. I don't have some a**hole husband that doesn't make me feel loved and accepted. Why once again

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I just don't understand Why the "crush" if he is not physically attractive to me (obviously he is but not by looks) we have not been personal nor flirtatious.. It makes NO sense to me. It's not like I am sheltered or haven't been in the presence of other men or even had opportunity that never acted on. I don't have some a**hole husband that doesn't make me feel loved and accepted. Why once again

 

thrill of the chase. he hasn't shown interest in you and you are intent on making him notice you - hence the dressing up etc. do you usually get a lot of attention from men around you?

 

it could go two ways - he notices what you're doing and shows interest, you either reach your goal and he becomes uninteresting to you. or you take it further.

 

or he continues being strictly professional and non-personal, your ego takes a hit but you don't jeopardise your job and marriage.

 

btw, guys aren't completely blind. chances are you're giving him all sorts of signals, the fact he hasn't done anything means that he's most likely not interested.

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I wouldn't say I get a lot of attention from men.. Average to reasonable attention I suppose. I am totally not giving him any signs. He has tried to joke and talk to me and I have actually been very brief, even lame in comparison to my normal sarcastic and goofy personality. I just feel what I feel

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