Lady2163 Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I saw this in another forum, before I signed up here. Do you look like the betrayed spouse? Do you think you look better than she does? No, I don't look like the spouse. We are both Caucasian, I was blonde when I was younger, but my hair is darker now. She spends a lot of money on treating her hair, it looks nice, it is nicely frosted and highlighted and permed. I'm kind of enjoying watching my hair change from medium brown to medium brown with wayward grays magically appearing. She is ten years or more older than I am. My face looks younger and my teeth are better. She has a really odd shaped face - a prominent chin. She is taller than I am and has a much nicer body than I do. Although I do more physical work than she does and have muscular arms and legs. Personally, I feel it is a toss up on who looks better. Years after the fact I've run into ex boyfriends and/ex married men. If they were jerks, it does give me an internal happy dance if I look better than what they're with now. I think that is human nature, maybe not a pretty side of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I saw this in another forum, before I signed up here. Do you look like the betrayed spouse? Do you think you look better than she does? No, I don't look like the spouse. We are both Caucasian, I was blonde when I was younger, but my hair is darker now. She spends a lot of money on treating her hair, it looks nice, it is nicely frosted and highlighted and permed. I'm kind of enjoying watching my hair change from medium brown to medium brown with wayward grays magically appearing. She is ten years or more older than I am. My face looks younger and my teeth are better. She has a really odd shaped face - a prominent chin. She is taller than I am and has a much nicer body than I do. Although I do more physical work than she does and have muscular arms and legs. Personally, I feel it is a toss up on who looks better. Years after the fact I've run into ex boyfriends and/ex married men. If they were jerks, it does give me an internal happy dance if I look better than what they're with now. I think that is human nature, maybe not a pretty side of it. Stop competing. Comparing yourself to her is degrading. Stop trying to obtain external validation through looks, being better in bed, and lastly men. Your validation should come from within. Lastly, from the married side of the equation: Many affairs are about opportunity. Being in the right place at the right time and finding a single AP that ignores the marital status of the married AP. The latter is the most important factor. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I saw this in another forum, before I signed up here. Do you look like the betrayed spouse? Do you think you look better than she does? No, I don't look like the spouse. We are both Caucasian, I was blonde when I was younger, but my hair is darker now. She spends a lot of money on treating her hair, it looks nice, it is nicely frosted and highlighted and permed. I'm kind of enjoying watching my hair change from medium brown to medium brown with wayward grays magically appearing. She is ten years or more older than I am. My face looks younger and my teeth are better. She has a really odd shaped face - a prominent chin. She is taller than I am and has a much nicer body than I do. Although I do more physical work than she does and have muscular arms and legs. Personally, I feel it is a toss up on who looks better. Years after the fact I've run into ex boyfriends and/ex married men. If they were jerks, it does give me an internal happy dance if I look better than what they're with now. I think that is human nature, maybe not a pretty side of it. We don't look anything alike, yet he loves us both and is attracted to us both for different reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
Cocochai Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 We're opposites but both cute but in different ways however... His wife looks older then her age and sometimes her makeup makes her look even older. But I look younger for my age. We both have beautiful personalities which is prob why we had an emotional affair. I can see why he married her and I would have never wanted to hurt her knowing about our affair. After all, she caught him before they got married and after. She knows what she married. Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I saw my AP's gf once, last summer at an event, from far away. I don't remember her face. I know she is much older than me (she is much older than him as well), but as for looks, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lady2163 Posted July 26, 2013 Author Share Posted July 26, 2013 Pierre, I'm trying to be as gracious online as possible, but chill out. This is a forum for the other woman or man. Guess what? This is something that goes through their mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Another thing... he has had a D-day, she knows it's me but has not told my H...yet...and one day AP and I were talking and I joked about what I would do if she came to see me. I said "is she bigger than me?" and he said no...and I was like .. ugh. Such a stupid girl thing to hate being "bigger" than someone, isn't it?? I am okay with my body, but could lose a few pounds (okay, 25)..it just felt so crappy to hear she was smaller. You are right, it's stuff girls think about that guys probably don't give another thought to! Link to post Share on other sites
grassisorisntgreener Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Anddddd...in the strangest twist of fate EVER...I just get an email with photos attached from the event she was at..how in the world do things work out like this. Now I will be scowering the pictures to see what she looks like. Ugggh. What are the odds? Seriously!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Just for fun (I'm not knocking the BS at all-- just comparing.) BS Blonde, me Brunette BS very thin, me: thin, but a bit curvy BS athletic, me: athletic BS: 9 years older than me (WS is 4 years younger than her) The only thing about her appearance WS ever mentioned was after kids, she got to be "too thin" and she doesn't wear make up, and never did. I told him that he knew that beforehand some things will never change. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Just for fun (I'm not knocking the BS at all-- just comparing.) BS Blonde, me Brunette BS very thin, me: thin, but a bit curvy BS athletic, me: athletic BS: 9 years older than me (WS is 4 years younger than her) The only thing about her appearance WS ever mentioned was after kids, she got to be "too thin" and she doesn't wear make up, and never did. I told him that he knew that beforehand some things will never change. For the love of God, this is not healthy. Stop the comparisons, stop competing. Furthermore, a woman that wears no make up is simply sure of herself and probably has high self esteem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I saw a pic one time maybe 7 or 8 years ago and she looked older but I never found myself competing, why would I? I am me and she is she Link to post Share on other sites
affairaddict Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 She's ten years younger but she looks older than me. She is bigger , had a big nose and average looking. She has lovely eyes though green, mine are brown. We look nothing alike at all. Link to post Share on other sites
affairaddict Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I agree it doesn't matter who is better looking really. Women do compare themselves to each other sometimes regardless of affairs . It's just the way most are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Silly_Girl Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 Complete opposites, it was never about looks though. Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I look like the complete opposite of the BS. So, win, win, for MM. As for who looks better, there is no comparison. I do. However, I don't really think that matters as much as we women think it does. I don't think men are as shallow as we think they are. And I think looks matter more to us. Also, we tend to value certain things about looks that don't matter to a man. I worked in an industry where I saw lots of fashion models. Young girls, just breaking into the industry. And there were men that would keep stables of these girls around them, like a harem. However, these same men never dated these girls. The girls they went nuts for? Were the normal girl next door types that just oozed health and openness and had Curves in all the right places. And sometimes not even that. I think a guy puts his trust in, and his heart in, just a reasonably attractive gal that looks well put together. Besides which, most really beautiful women are stupid or high maintenance, or are idiots for love. That's just a fact. Your assumptions about beautiful women and those in the fashion industry would be insulting if they weren't so amusing and off base. I modeled and worked in the industry too, and the vast majority of beautiful women that were my peers are nothing like you described. They were intelligent, capable women and many married or in LTR with stable home lives.So your "facts" are just observations based on what you saw and not for the general population. Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I really was kind of just kidding. I was also in a glamorous industry, though not modeling. I was surrounded by beautiful women. My best friend is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and she's also the smartest. But she is high maintenance... Gotcha, I do know some women probably do fit that description but they were in the minority from what I saw, majority were amazing and very talented and interesting. I will agree with you on the high maintenance though! lol Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 My comment about the men's behavior with these women however I am still sticking to. Because I would see these men and these women outside of their industry setting. They were just socializing. And I would see the men go after a different sort of girl than the one they wanted to photograph or work for them. I think that is definitely a security issue with the men. They probably knew what they'd be in for as far as competition in choosing to be in an actual relationship with a woman like that. Or they didn't want to deal with what they felt would be a high maintenance woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I really was kind of just kidding. I was also in a glamorous industry, though not modeling. I was surrounded by beautiful women. My best friend is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and she's also the smartest. But she is high maintenance... A high maintenance woman is a woman with an inferiority complex (despite her great looks). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 We have similarities, as he has a "type". He is a sucker for our color eyes so I think everyone female that he as dated as this color. I am thinner but I am also thinner than his ideal. He loves Scarlet Johansson so he is more into curvy. Apparently we are of the same political leanings as well. He fits my type of look as well, hair color and eye pigment so, yes there are definite similarities. Personality wise they are very different though both have dry senses of humor which I like and are very liberal (which I like as well). Out side of that I am not sure. I never really cared to know anything about her, what she looked like, etc. until after the divorce. Then I got curious. *shrug* We are similar but we are different. Link to post Share on other sites
hippetyhop Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 We have similarities, as he has a "type". He is a sucker for our color eyes so I think everyone female that he as dated as this color. I am thinner but I am also thinner than his ideal. He loves Scarlet Johansson so he is more into curvy. Apparently we are of the same political leanings as well. He fits my type of look as well, hair color and eye pigment so, yes there are definite similarities. Personality wise they are very different though both have dry senses of humor which I like and are very liberal (which I like as well). Out side of that I am not sure. I never really cared to know anything about her, what she looked like, etc. until after the divorce. Then I got curious. *shrug* We are similar but we are different. Ha..funny that you mention that...my xMM looks was something I would ever imagine me going for. Who knew, right? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 (edited) I saw this in another forum, before I signed up here. Do you look like the betrayed spouse? Do you think you look better than she does? No, I don't look like the spouse. We are both Caucasian, I was blonde when I was younger, but my hair is darker now. She spends a lot of money on treating her hair, it looks nice, it is nicely frosted and highlighted and permed. I'm kind of enjoying watching my hair change from medium brown to medium brown with wayward grays magically appearing. She is ten years or more older than I am. My face looks younger and my teeth are better. She has a really odd shaped face - a prominent chin. She is taller than I am and has a much nicer body than I do. Although I do more physical work than she does and have muscular arms and legs. Personally, I feel it is a toss up on who looks better. Years after the fact I've run into ex boyfriends and/ex married men. If they were jerks, it does give me an internal happy dance if I look better than what they're with now. I think that is human nature, maybe not a pretty side of it. fOW: We didn't look alike. I had no idea what she looked like while the A was going on though. I assumed she was pretty, as he's attractive, so I figured there was no reason he'd not be with someone attractive as well. Only saw what she looked like maybe 2 years after the A ended, and she is pretty, but we don't look similar at all. Years later, I don't care who my exes date. Ugly, pretty...neither here nor there for me. I only cared about their new gf when I was still into them and the break up was fresh, as I still had some emotional investment. But when I'm truly over them, it doesn't matter as they have no power to validate or hurt me anymore. I remember with one of my exes I felt petty and was rejoicing in how everyone he seemed to date in the year we broke up was less attractive (he had pics of them all over his FB) lol....now I'm like he could date a Yetti or Ms. Universe for all I care. He got married, I don't think his wife is attractive; but, I felt no joy in that like I would probably have back when I still had feelings for him. It's hard not to compare, esp if you're in an affair, as the person still has a wife. I didn't have that added level of comparing/competition thankfully, as I didn't know much about her or see her at all and didn't seek out seeing her. But, I think it does no good to get caught up...as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and what's pretty to you may or may not be pretty to your MM/ex and it only matters what he thinks of his spouse/new gf. And if the spouse is prettier than you are, then what? Instead of feeling smug, you may feel paranoid and jealous. So might as well not go there. Edited July 26, 2013 by MissBee Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 If my wife has an affair I would hope she picks a guy that is more good looking than me.:laugh: If she picks an ugly dude i would be devastated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 If my wife has an affair I would hope she picks a guy that is more good looking than me.:laugh: If she picks an ugly dude i would be devastated. Hmmm...you know I'd probably feel that way as well . But it's so not about a MP trolling for a more attractive person at all. Who they choose and why can be for all kinds of haphazard or even thoughtful reasons which have zero to do with a beauty competition. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 I was once unknowingly involved with a MM. She was 40, I was 26 (?), and I looked just like her, 14 years younger. Link to post Share on other sites
BrokenPrincess Posted July 26, 2013 Share Posted July 26, 2013 If my wife has an affair I would hope she picks a guy that is more good looking than me.:laugh: If she picks an ugly dude i would be devastated. Really? Wouldn't you just remind yourself that As are only about opportunity and any guy would do if he could meet her insatiable need for external validation? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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