chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I have been told that my exMM has been praising his wife and marriage on his social media pages. I actually laughed when I heard this. It's funny to me because he bad mouths her to others. Not just me but to his friends too. Then he announces to the world what an amazing wife she is and how he is so blessed that she is part of his life. Blah blah blah. To me, and others, it seems like he is just putting on a show to make everyone think his life and marriage are picture perfect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
drr6 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Ok so he is trying to say nice things about his wife on FB. That's what you are supposed to do. What do you expect? Status updates listing how horrible she is? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 in the words of Hall and Oates, "It's a laugh, what a laugh. It's so stupid, I gotta laugh."...mhmm. I am seeing this with my exMOM too. If the world only knew. psh. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Who knew that duplicity could be so attractive? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HopingAgain Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Maybe he is realizing that he is lucky and blessed.to have her. The realization to himself that he doesn't deserve her has probably settled in. Sounds like he's showing appreciation, and rightfully so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Have you considered the possibility that he really feels that way about her, but just bad mouths her to you and others in order to justify the affair? Or maybe he is devious enough to just lie out of his arse to everyone and he does it for his purposes only, to keep his wife quite and non suspicious. Is either scenario acceptable to you, does it make you think more of him? He has talked bad about her for a long time. Before our affair, even before we really knew each other and he still talks bad about her. He is my EXMM so his bragging on social media, where her and all their family can see it, but bad mouthing her to others makes him look stupid and it makes me see the real him. The guy who is never satisfied wih what he has. THAT SCENARIO The only one that I care about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Who knew that duplicity could be so attractive? I never said it was attractive. He acted just as every other mm on here does. Saying how miserable he was blah blah blah and acting like she was he wicked witch but to make him self look good he post how great life is but that's not the way he talked/talks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Who cares what he says on FB. It shouldn't concern you. Try not to look at their page or block them for your own peace of mind. My WH bad mouthed me to everyone too, not just our friends but MOW too I got to hear some of what they said (MOW and WH) on the VAR recording. They were making fun of me because I was acting like a lunatic. Reason why I was acting like a lunatic was because I kept catching him with her and we were supposedly in R. Their life is probably not picture perfect behind closed doors. I know ours isn't, mostly because of what the aftermath of his A has caused to our M. Good times! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Ok so he is trying to say nice things about his wife on FB. That's what you are supposed to do. What do you expect? Status updates listing how horrible she is? Being nice on social media one day and the next day complaining about her to others. Not exactly what your suppose to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Who cares what he says on FB. It shouldn't concern you. Try not to look at their page or block them for your own peace of mind. My WH bad mouthed me to everyone too, not just our friends but MOW too I got to hear some of what they said (MOW and WH) on the VAR recording. They were making fun of me because I was acting like a lunatic. Reason why I was acting like a lunatic was because I kept catching him with her and we were supposedly in R. Their life is probably not picture perfect behind closed doors. I know ours isn't, mostly because of what the aftermath of his A has caused to our M. Good times! I'm actually not friends with him. It came up in conversation with some friends that don't know about our A. We were taking about another friend who has a new Gf and how they seem so happy and how they talk bout how much they like each other on FB and someone else said I hope he(other friend) doesn't say nice stuff about her on FB and then bad mouth her like exMM does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 So it was never offensive to you to hear him badmouthing his wife (couldn't have offended you or you wouldn't have had an affair with him) but it does offend you to see him say anything nice about her? did I say I was offended by him saying good things? No, I didn't so please to put words in my mouth. I said I find it funny that he talks bad about her behind her back but says how awesome she is when she can see/hear it. Which way does he feel? shes awesome or not 2 Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Not. If she was, he wouldnt have had an affair. I mean she may be awesome in general, but to him she's not awesome enough for him to stay faithful. He's a coward, doing what he needs to do to please wifey. Simple. You deserve better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 What does ability for monogamy have to do with HER? The more likely issue is that he is to crappy of a partner to remain honest and faithful to anyone. Anyones capability to be faithful and keep promsises is soley on them....not how they see thier partner. She was "awesome enough" for him to marry in the first place. He just isnt awesome enough to be a decent husband. So true. It is tiring seeing the same thing said about the BS. My WH talked crap about me yet put me on the highest pedestal to my face. My WH has always taken good care of me as far as buying me nice things and we always had a really great time together. During the A he became miserable and withdrawn, but I did not change. I still woke up cheerfully and always told him I loved him. We would talk throughout the day. We still had sex. In the meantime he was telling MOW that I was abusive to him and never had sex with him . He told her I was crazy after DDay, which I was , but it's amazing the level the WS stoops to. Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I said TO HIM! read people! and to be fair it is tiring to see the same thing about the "other"... Why do you stay with someone who could EVER say those things about you...? He was in a fog, I forgot. When he's with the "other" that's not really him...For the record I NEVER said anything negative about my H. ever. He's a wonderful man. So why do these WS have to go to such great lengths? Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Yeah but that mentality is an entitled one. She was good enough to him for him to marry in the first place. He already made the promise of fildelity so its not her to stay amusing enough to him to keep him faithful....he should be more concerned with what he is bringing to the table for her. there REALLY are people who get married for the wrong reasons. I can say with 100% confidence (even though he's a complete douchenozzle) that my exMOM got married for all the wrong reasons. Some people go along with society's ideas and are really that weak of a person to go through with something they know in their heart isn't right. Then when they are in, they are in. Too late to back out but never too late to get a little piece on the side (speaking from the MM point of view)...my view is completely different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I said TO HIM! read people! and to be fair it is tiring to see the same thing about the "other"... Why do you stay with someone who could EVER say those things about you...? He was in a fog, I forgot. When he's with the "other" that's not really him...For the record I NEVER said anything negative about my H. ever. He's a wonderful man. So why do these WS have to go to such great lengths? Ok I am a FWS and a BS and I honestly feel the only one's in this triangle to get screwed are both the BS and the OW, I'm not taking any side here. I personally think it is the WS issue 100% of the time. If the M was that bad, then leave, simple. The choice to have an A and continue to have an A is solely on the WS, that is their baggage to own not the BS. And for the record I too never said a bad thing about my WH when I was in my a. MY WH felt the need to badmouth me, and this is something he can never take back now. My WH also badmouths the MOW to me. They go to such great lengths because they are cowards, I mean why do things the right way like get a divorce:rolleyes: 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Welcome to Blah-blah Book. Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I had two small kids and zero income when i divorced. Just sayin. I still didnt bash him or broadcast my dirty laundry. We have the option to divorce. There really arent valid excuses So i am confused, are you a BS or OW? Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Why do you stay with someone who could EVER say those things about you...? He was in a fog, I forgot. When he's with the "other" that's not really him... I'm not sure why I stay yet Loredo I'm still navigating that one in IC, it's not fun. Plus I can never unhear or unread the bad things that were said. I don't think that was not really him, when he was in the A. He definitely wasn't with me and I could emotionally and physically sense it. I'm not claiming fog over here. Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Ok I am a FWS and a BS and I honestly feel the only one's in this triangle to get screwed are both the BS and the OW, I'm not taking any side here. I personally think it is the WS issue 100% of the time. If the M was that bad, then leave, simple. The choice to have an A and continue to have an A is solely on the WS, that is their baggage to own not the BS. And for the record I too never said a bad thing about my WH when I was in my a. MY WH felt the need to badmouth me, and this is something he can never take back now. My WH also badmouths the MOW to me. They go to such great lengths because they are cowards, I mean why do things the right way like get a divorce:rolleyes: COWARDS! ding ding ding! We're all just cowards. But you have a choice to stay one or to grow a pair and make the life you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Praying4Peace Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I had two small kids and zero income when i divorced. Just sayin. I still didnt bash him or broadcast my dirty laundry. We have the option to divorce. There really arent valid excuses You have a lot of self respect and stick to your principles, that's why. To the OP- i would venture that in most cases what people put on their social media is what they would 'like' to believe. You want to see what someone is insecure about? Check their social media lol. When I was happy and in love (both in my A or my M or just in life in general) the last place you'd find me was on social media reinforcing. It's just for show. That said, it might be true- but the primary thing is its FOR SHOW. He put that there for the added motive of making sure everyone saw it. To prove something that should just be proven by private actions. It's lame-o. Don't worry about it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chaser0195 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 If there was a d day, then maybe he is sincere and has recommitted to his marriage. No d day.......then it's just the same lies and bs that went on during the affair, it shouldn't be a surprise to you that he is a liar. Also........you are wasting brain power wondering about it. Just move on and if the subject comes up again from friends, shut it down. There wasn't a dday. I ended it for good after to much crap from him. Since none of our mutual friends know about the affair I can't tell them I don't want to hear it or they might wonder why and get suspicious. I think it's just more lies both ways. (That she was horrible and that he thinks shes awesome) I believed he was miserable in the beginning but eventually realized its just one lie after another. Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I To me, and others, it seems like he is just putting on a show to make everyone think his life and marriage are picture perfect. This is very common, particularly on a social network page such as Facebook. I've seen a BS somewhat do this, but I know otherwise. I know about the stuff you just don't put on Facebook in this particular case. Sounds like you're angry with the guy. Otherwise you would empathize with why he'd put up such a facade...no? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I'm not sure why I stay yet Loredo I'm still navigating that one in IC, it's not fun. Plus I can never unhear or unread the bad things that were said. I don't think that was not really him, when he was in the A. He definitely wasn't with me and I could emotionally and physically sense it. I'm not claiming fog over here. Well I am truly sorry for you. I've played the role of hurting someone that much, and it is not a role I would ever play again. I really hope you find comfort in why you are R and a path that is right for YOU! because you are most important. I think you deserve better. (I'm on the other end) but I will admit fully that my H deserves better than me. Though I never badmouthed him, I did enough to know that he can do much better. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SweetiePie12 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 What do you expect? Status updates listing how horrible she is? Slight tangent, but, I wonder what's worse; this, or not acknowledging this person exists at all, when the vice versa is not the case... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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