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The other woman is being cheated on!


watching sidelines

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watching sidelines

Should you tell the other woman that he is mentally ill and has been playing us both with another? Never new about the other woman but later found out and now the other woman dose:eek:n't know about his mentall illness or the other woman he has beside her,

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Praying4Peace

I'm confused...is there a W or GF in this equation? Who are you?

 

I'm thinking there is a W, an OW and an OOW. And you are the OW and you want to tell the OOW of the existence of both of you simulaneously? Hell, just invite the W too. Three against one. Sounds like a ambush :)

 

Is the mental illness something other than voluntarily making such a mess of his life? :)

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watching sidelines

I am the niece. My Uncle is diagnosed Bipolar and my stupid family convinced him he doesn't need medication. I happened to be in the same place when he was with another woman and his wife of a very long marriage had no idea. Now I am in the same predicament because the other woman doesn't know he is bipolar and off his medication and at the same time is trying to get back with the x of a 25 year marriage and I think he has yet another woman on the side.

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Praying4Peace

You need to let your Aunt know, at the very least. What's stopping you? Do you think your Uncle will be upset with you? Or you don't want to be the bearer of such bad news?

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I am the niece. My Uncle is diagnosed Bipolar and my stupid family convinced him he doesn't need medication. I happened to be in the same place when he was with another woman and his wife of a very long marriage had no idea. Now I am in the same predicament because the other woman doesn't know he is bipolar and off his medication and at the same time is trying to get back with the x of a 25 year marriage and I think he has yet another woman on the side.

 

No, it's not your place to tell his personal business - or state of mind.

 

The women will find out in due time - if/since he's likely to display signs that would be concerning.

 

It's for them to figure out.

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ComingInHot

Sigh I don't know if I agree for a young lady and niece to carry this burden all alone. Is there a parent you could confide in?

I'm SO sorry!! I believe you need support in this. Maybe Not your place to confront but maybe tell someone who is in a position to either help You deal and/or do the confronting.?.?

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watching sidelines

I just don't want to see my Aunt who is really great, and cousins get hurt all over again. My aunt was the best thing for this Uncle, but then his sibling mess everything up and destroy her. I hate being in the know and not being able to show them all that its all his own doing. He is hurting everyone, loosing his wife and kids and no one seems to see that their influencing a mentally ill person to destroy what took a life time to build.

The sick part is he moved in with the new girl friend who is old, looks like his own mother & sister which my employer has work relationships with. Its just bad all around as I love my aunt and cousins and are very good honest people and were there for me many times.

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watching sidelines

Thank you all for advice, I am trying to way all the advice out to do the best and right thing. I am 24, engaged, a new Marketing Analyst. My Fiance and myself have seen the stupid goings on for a couple of years now. Yes, I work for one of the extended family contracts thats why its even more difficult. We are debating about giving my aunt the newest crap. Letting the old other woman know too! Its sad but they deserve to know before they have nothing left emotionally and financially. My aunt is waisting so much money trying to get him the help he needs, one of those people who always makes everyone smile, she's honest and acknowledges the good in everyone so no one gets left out, she sees her glass half full no matter what. My cousins her children are the same. This is all so screwed up as my parents and other aunts are part of the problem and I don't want any of them to keep getting away with the crap as it is in the office daily. Yes, I am trying desperately to get a job somewhere else and move away from it all.

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justwhoiam

Your aunt knows he lives with another woman. You don't know if the other two women know about each other. Chances are they do.

 

If his brain is f--ked up, the only way not to let him mess around is to assess his legal capacity. You could talk to your aunt and cousins and tell them they should assess his legal capacity.

 

It's not clear if he divorced from his ex wife or they are separated. If he's legally divorced, in case he's not legally capable anymore, decisions might be up to his sons/daughters and/or the other woman, as the current care provider.

 

Other than recommending this step or hinting at his mental issues, the rest is not your business.

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threelaurels
I'm curious, and playing devils advocate here... all people always say "Tell the wife because she deserves to know."

So why doesn't the same reasoning apply to someone else who many unknowingly be being cheated on?

 

I believe the OW does deserve to know. She is just as much at risk for getting STIs as the wife, and she should have the right to make informed decisions about her life. However, I can't say I feel much sympathy for her because she knew she was getting involved with a cheater.

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