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that's it, i'm switching teams


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either i have a sign on my forehead that says 'proposition me' or all men are actually driven primarily by their urges. i am seriously considering just giving up on them completely.

 

met up for a coffee with an acquaintance this morning (will not call him a friend, we do however have mutual friends) to drop off some of his documents - i have helped him out with some official business stuff.

i've known him for a couple of years, and have had meetings with him at first every month or so. he's from my country of origin and was doing a degree in my field, so my friends asked if i could help him out. which i did, no problem.

 

anyway, this all stopped when he started behaving a bit funny, complimenting me, texting me asking how i am, etc.... back then i just said that i'm not interested, he should go and take care of his wife and new child (they've had another baby since). so, i haven't actually seen him for more than a year. all the interaction we had was him sending a text at christmas, easter...

 

so this morning, after the official conversation was over and i was getting up to go to work - he takes my hand, looks me in the eyes and goes 'i've been thinking a lot about you. i'd like to see you more often.' i sat there just... speechless. just stared at him for a while and then i asked him how his wife was. he replies with 'i know that me being married doesn't make for a perfect situation, but since you are married too we can be together without creating problems for each other'.

i had to stop myself from driving my heel through his groin. just got up, picked up my things and walked out. i definitely didn't want him to see that my eyes were welling up. i am just over... everything.

there were a couple of calls since then and texts asking to talk. wtf is wrong with people :mad:

 

i'm also angry with myself. because as i was driving back i thought... if he weren't married, maybe i would. why the heck not. he's 7 years younger than me, he's really good looking yet there is no mental/emotional connection. perfect for NSA. as obviously, hoping for 'love' is just futile, so might as well think and act like they do.

 

ack :sick:

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Awww...hey, don't beat yourself up! You totally did the right thing! You took care of yourself by setting a strong boundary by walking out. That sent a message - a great message.

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I agree. I had a male friend that I was working out with. I was happy to have a friend to see once a week that I could not 'worry' about dating crap with.

 

Well, we went to get something to eat after the last workout and he started to make some comments about my body and shape that were honestly crossing the line.

 

I was so upset. Seriously? Is this all you f*ckers think about?

 

Done.

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yup. trust me, after a few months in martial arts training, i know a couple of pretty nifty ways to cause a lot of hurt to a guy.

 

and i'm not a fan of telling the wife... seriously considering it in this case though.

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I agree. I had a male friend that I was working out with. I was happy to have a friend to see once a week that I could not 'worry' about dating crap with.

 

Well, we went to get something to eat after the last workout and he started to make some comments about my body and shape that were honestly crossing the line.

 

I was so upset. Seriously? Is this all you f*ckers think about?

 

Done.

 

i think it *is* all they think about. arsehats, the lot of them.

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I think you should say, "Ok if I run this scenario by your wife, ahole?"

 

just sent him a text back that pretty much said that. hopefully it shuts him up. ffs.

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yup. trust me, after a few months in martial arts training, i know a couple of pretty nifty ways to cause a lot of hurt to a guy.

 

and i'm not a fan of telling the wife... seriously considering it in this case though.

 

Good for you! Lol...you should use that martial arts training on his as* if he tries it again. then finish it off by telling his wife...lol.

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Awww...hey, don't beat yourself up! You totally did the right thing! You took care of yourself by setting a strong boundary by walking out. That sent a message - a great message.

 

oh, i know i did alright. the fact he thought me 'convenient' for an affair just...oh i'm beyond p*ssed off about that right now.

 

i'm also wondering whether there's a global notification system for guys like that.

just... brought on a lot of bad feelings back regarding OM. i thought i was getting out of the funk i've been in for the last couple of weeks, then BAM.

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You know what though? Coming from someone who thought she was gay for the last 14 years, some lesbians are just as bad!!!

 

I've got a lesbian friend who acts just like a stereotypical brain-in-his-pants kind of guy, chasing girls, playing with them, etc. UGH.

 

So switching teams may not work for ya either. lol Just avoid all humans, I say. Become a crazy cat lady. It's much easier. Cats will sit on your lap, purr and provide comfort and NEVER demand sex. (all they demand is food. Constantly). lol

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indeed stevie! i have three cats, so i guess i'm already a legitimate crazy cat lady :D

 

maybe i can just advertise being a lesbian. that way i wouldn't have to deal with those-who-think-with-their-smallest-appendage.

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indeed stevie! i have three cats, so i guess i'm already a legitimate crazy cat lady :D

 

maybe i can just advertise being a lesbian. that way i wouldn't have to deal with those-who-think-with-their-smallest-appendage.

 

 

Pssst... nope, you still would. But then they'd ask things like "Well can I watch?"

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Pssst... nope, you still would. But then they'd ask things like "Well can I watch?"

 

hah, haven't thought of that...they would too.

 

well if nothing else, this one was at least straightforward with what he wanted. as opposed to OM, who wasted months of my life trying to persuade me he 'cared'. in the end, neither got any :rolleyes:

 

the second one has the trophy of completely messing me up though, so at least it's something.

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indeed stevie! i have three cats, so i guess i'm already a legitimate crazy cat lady :D

 

maybe i can just advertise being a lesbian. that way i wouldn't have to deal with those-who-think-with-their-smallest-appendage.

 

LOL...that's a great idea! Next time I'm around a married guy who tries to step over the line - I'm a lesbian. :)

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Pssst... nope, you still would. But then they'd ask things like "Well can I watch?"

 

Then you could say, "My gf looks like a line-backer."

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Yes, you NEED to say the second thing too about the girlfriend looking like a line backer, because if you don't, they will STILL not give up.

 

I've been stopped in the street by various guys in cars, who have pulled over, asked me out, I've said bluntly I'm gay, and they don't even blink! They just continue asking questions like have you ever been with a guy? No? What a waste! You just haven't found the RIGHT man for you, baby! UGH!!!!!!

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Yes, you NEED to say the second thing too about the girlfriend looking like a line backer, because if you don't, they will STILL not give up.

 

I've been stopped in the street by various guys in cars, who have pulled over, asked me out, I've said bluntly I'm gay, and they don't even blink! They just continue asking questions like have you ever been with a guy? No? What a waste! You just haven't found the RIGHT man for you, baby! UGH!!!!!!

 

classy.

 

i think i *do* have the right man. he loves me, i love him, he doesn't lie and play games, and he's actually useful as he catches mice.

 

the human kind sucks.

 

</crazy cat lady>

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LOL. I have 2 "men" too in my life, but they're also my cat "sons" so that's a bit sick. Incest, anyone? lol

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ThatJustHappened
I think you should say, "Ok if I run this scenario by your wife, ahole?"

 

That's exactly what I said the last time a married guy propositioned me! :laugh: He didn't like that idea very much.

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ThatJustHappened
just sent him a text back that pretty much said that. hopefully it shuts him up. ffs.

 

If the lesbian thing doesn't work you could always tell him yes and beg him to get you pregnant immediately. Bet that'd scare him off pretty quickly..

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That's exactly what I said the last time a married guy propositioned me! :laugh: He didn't like that idea very much.

 

When I was a meek 18 year old, and had been with my very first girlfriend for 3 months, didn't know who I was, wasn't confident in my sexuality, I was on the beach by myself when an older man started visually flirting with me from the water (I was on the sand). Unfortunately, back then despite my shyness and inexperience, I tended to also be a visual flirt (meaning purposefully positioning yourself in ways to make your body look its best, slightly suggestive positions and gestures like flipping hair, etc).

 

So he came over to me. I'd already planned to tell him I was only 14 so he'd leave me alone, since I wasn't interested.

 

He said he was 30 (I presume he was older than this), he looked like a cross between Brad Pitt and Pierce Brosnan, and the fact I was 14 did NOT put him off. By now I was behaving in a charming and polite manner, though also aloof, but was thinking WTF?! Why would a 30 year old be interested in a 14 year old!? SICKO!

 

THEN he took out a picture of his FIANCE and told me she was up in another part of the state and he was on vacation. So now I was like...soooo you're sexually attracted to 14 year old girls and think they'll find YOU more attractive if you reveal you're willing to cheat on your FIANCE with a 14 year old girl!? BLEGH!

 

Then he gave me his phone number, kissed me on the lips (I let him. Told you I was meek back then, ok!?), and somehow I "lost" his number on my way home. Funny that.

 

I bet if I'd actually told him I had a girlfriend, that also wouldn't have put him off.

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oh, i know i did alright. the fact he thought me 'convenient' for an affair just...oh i'm beyond p*ssed off about that right now.

 

i'm also wondering whether there's a global notification system for guys like that.

just... brought on a lot of bad feelings back regarding OM. i thought i was getting out of the funk i've been in for the last couple of weeks, then BAM.

 

I didn't mean to play down the bolded part. I definitely know what you mean about an incident like that can trigger bad thoughts. It's happened to me too! Thoughts that remind you that you were only a small dark part of your xMM's life. It's quite sobering...I know. Don't let it get to you because you handled the situation beautifully! You deserve HUGE credit for that.

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