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Is my married coworker into me?


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So this guy I've worked with for about a year and a half, who I barely noticed other than as a talented coworker, completely hit on me one day at a work morale event. A bunch of us went out for drinks and he proceeded to tell me how awesome he thinks I am at my job, which graduated to how sexy he thinks I am, tickling me, being all giddy because the door man at the bar thought we were a couple, and ended with him finally kissing me. I pulled away and he leaned into my ear and apologized for kissing me. I chalked that all up to him being drunk. The whole thing surprised (and flattered me) since I know he is married and he knows I am married. The problem now is I also since have developed a crush on him. now I'm obsessed to know if he likes me or not sober. Since that night he has gone out of his way to help me get a new, better position at work, I catch him blushing when he talks to me, he looks into my eyes and I can't help but notice his pupils are always dilated, he usually sits across from me in meetings even if its just he and I in the room, but then will find some excuse to come and lean over my shoulder to look at something on my laptop and he gets very close to me, but he never tries to touch me. I've sent him some flirtatious emails (innocent enough because they are through work email) he never responds to them. So after my last flirty email i sent a follow up stating "I hope he didn't think it was weird," he said he didn't at all. Anyway, I can't tell if he is still interested in me and is worried about the fact we are both married, or if he's shy or he was just drunk talking when he hit on me before or some combo of all three. I'm not sure what I expect from this, if anything. I love my husband. I'm happy (or thought I was until this happened). Now I can't stop fantasizing about my coworker and I'm hoping he still has feelings for me. Why? I don't know but I want to see where it goes.

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Affairs in the workplace generally end up badly for the woman.

 

Affairs in general usually end up badly for the woman.

 

Using work email to be flirty is a potential disaster.

 

Yes, he's all available to have an A with you. That's not the issue. Do you want to be told "go ahead" or "stop"?

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And what about your husband. Your kids. Do you care what affect this will have on them? Are you really that selfish and have a big ego to want to know if this MM, co worker of yours is into you, wants to continue things? Kiss you again, possibly have an affair? Is throwing away all that you know and love, worth it? THINK ABOUT IT. Your reputation work as well is at risk. The respect you've earned from collegues, your boss. Let alone the love and trust your husband has in you will be GONE when he finds out (and they always DO, the truth has a way of coming out, especially work place affairs!), so is it worth ruining his life (your husband) your kids lives, turn it all upside down? For what, a hot roll in the hay for a co worker you have a crush on and are lusting after?

 

Go read what some OW (other women) are going through now. Go read in the infidelity section and read how affairs ruin lives, devastate familes, tear them apart. Not only does it affect your husband and children (if you have any), it also affects friendships, neighbours, extended families, relatives, YOUR inlaws, let alone your own parents.

 

And, you'll also be helping him hurt his wife, betray her and their family unit. Just like he'll be helping you hurt your own family!!

 

THINK hard before you go ahead and help yourself.

 

Sorry to be blunt and harsh but I would hate to see you back here in 5 months saying your H found out and you lost everything you ever loved..Even more so when the co worker tells you it's over and wants nothing more to do with you.

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If you think a mountain of problems that lays ahead is worthy of this little crush then go for for it.

 

If you think the hurt your husband and children will feel is worthy of this attraction go for it.

 

If you think you can handle playing with fire and not get burnt at the end, go for it.

 

But then again, i hope you are smarter than that...

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Stop this nonsense before it goes any further. There's too much to lose.

If you love your husband, turn your attention to him and not some sleaze ball looking for a fling.

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Every one here is right, you will find no happiness down this road. You want to know where this goes? At best, you get the affair you seem to want to have, and you never get caught. Woot Woot, what a win/win. Oh, except that you will know, and you will never forget, and it will eat at you everytime you look at your husband, or your kids. Thats lousy and thats the best case scenario. Others have pointed out where else it could go. Leave it as a good fantasy, and make the resposible choice. Effort put into trying to connect with this man is energy you are not giving to your spouse and family, and i am sure they are more deserving of it. If you can't fight the feeling, set some limits and boundaries to reduce the temptation. And maybe see if there is anything going on elsewhere in your marriage or life leading you down this path.

 

Please make the smart choice

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Affairs in the workplace generally end up badly for the woman.

 

Affairs in general usually end up badly for the woman.

 

Using work email to be flirty is a potential disaster.

 

Yes, he's all available to have an A with you. That's not the issue. Do you want to be told "go ahead" or "stop"?

 

I have to agree.

 

If you're happy in your marriage I'd really think carefully about pushing ahead with the flirtations of a drunk guy. You both have made it obvious you are available for an affair, but not being in the situation and looking at it, it really seems very trite and silly to potentially ruin your life and career all because your drunk coworker was inappropriate with you (and you didn't stop it).

 

How long have you been married? I do understand and think it's normal that the attention from a new man may be exciting and fun, esp if you've been married for a while. But what starts off as fun and excitement and no strings attached often ends up very badly, so I'd really not throw caution to the wind and "try to see where it goes". I could understand if you were a single woman or something, not looking for much, maaaaybe you could be so flippant about it (that was me in my A, I was barely legal and really not thinking ahead and I STILL got hurt) but, if you are actually "happily married" and he is also your coworker, then it would be a very very very foolish gamble. Please snap out of it.

Edited by MissBee
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So this guy I've worked with for about a year and a half, who I barely noticed other than as a talented coworker, completely hit on me one day at a work morale event. A bunch of us went out for drinks and he proceeded to tell me how awesome he thinks I am at my job, which graduated to how sexy he thinks I am, tickling me, being all giddy because the door man at the bar thought we were a couple, and ended with him finally kissing me. I pulled away and he leaned into my ear and apologized for kissing me. I chalked that all up to him being drunk. The whole thing surprised (and flattered me) since I know he is married and he knows I am married. The problem now is I also since have developed a crush on him. now I'm obsessed to know if he likes me or not sober. Since that night he has gone out of his way to help me get a new, better position at work, I catch him blushing when he talks to me, he looks into my eyes and I can't help but notice his pupils are always dilated, he usually sits across from me in meetings even if its just he and I in the room, but then will find some excuse to come and lean over my shoulder to look at something on my laptop and he gets very close to me, but he never tries to touch me. I've sent him some flirtatious emails (innocent enough because they are through work email) he never responds to them. So after my last flirty email i sent a follow up stating "I hope he didn't think it was weird," he said he didn't at all. Anyway, I can't tell if he is still interested in me and is worried about the fact we are both married, or if he's shy or he was just drunk talking when he hit on me before or some combo of all three. I'm not sure what I expect from this, if anything. I love my husband. I'm happy (or thought I was until this happened). Now I can't stop fantasizing about my coworker and I'm hoping he still has feelings for me. Why? I don't know but I want to see where it goes.

 

The workplace is fertile ground for affairs. Yes, he likes you and you like him. He approached you because you gave signals you were approachable.

 

Using email for flirtation is moronic and stupid. Thinking about the concubine of General Petraeus and the disgrace she caused to herself. You are well on your way to cause incredible pain to your husband, children, and family. No different than General Petraeus, his concubine, and countless others.

 

Do you want to lose your job? Generally the concubine gets fired and the man can always say you crawled underneath him. Do you want to be know as the slut home wrecker? Sadly, the female gets all the blame and the man is barely touched.

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. I'm not sure what I expect from this, if anything. I love my husband. I'm happy (or thought I was until this happened). Now I can't stop fantasizing about my coworker and I'm hoping he still has feelings for me. Why? I don't know but I want to see where it goes.

 

Read some of these stories in here and you'll KNOW where it goes. If you chose to continue on the path you're on, brace yourself for pain, destruction, regret, and disappointment. It's your choice.

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ThatJustHappened
So this guy I've worked with for about a year and a half, who I barely noticed other than as a talented coworker, completely hit on me one day at a work morale event. A bunch of us went out for drinks and he proceeded to tell me how awesome he thinks I am at my job, which graduated to how sexy he thinks I am, tickling me, being all giddy because the door man at the bar thought we were a couple, and ended with him finally kissing me. I pulled away and he leaned into my ear and apologized for kissing me. I chalked that all up to him being drunk. The whole thing surprised (and flattered me) since I know he is married and he knows I am married. The problem now is I also since have developed a crush on him. now I'm obsessed to know if he likes me or not sober. Since that night he has gone out of his way to help me get a new, better position at work, I catch him blushing when he talks to me, he looks into my eyes and I can't help but notice his pupils are always dilated, he usually sits across from me in meetings even if its just he and I in the room, but then will find some excuse to come and lean over my shoulder to look at something on my laptop and he gets very close to me, but he never tries to touch me. I've sent him some flirtatious emails (innocent enough because they are through work email) he never responds to them. So after my last flirty email i sent a follow up stating "I hope he didn't think it was weird," he said he didn't at all. Anyway, I can't tell if he is still interested in me and is worried about the fact we are both married, or if he's shy or he was just drunk talking when he hit on me before or some combo of all three. I'm not sure what I expect from this, if anything. I love my husband. I'm happy (or thought I was until this happened). Now I can't stop fantasizing about my coworker and I'm hoping he still has feelings for me. Why? I don't know but I want to see where it goes.

 

Who cares if he likes you? Do not, I repeat, DO NOT indulge. Fantasizing is fine but cheating is a big nasty slutty awful mess for everyone.

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