marriedgay Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 We're 2 gay married couples, best friends and see each other several times per week. I feel I am in love with one of the friends. We've all had an intense friendship for 3 years and travel together too. The one I feel I'm in love with texts me every day and when I don't one day, he comments about it. Uses terms like "our song", and says he deletes our "intimate texts" though there is nothing sexual between us. Even though he seems very happily married (and I am for the most part), is he in love with me, or am I just meeting an emotional need in him? The only time we can truly talk is when we're both drunk or at least a few drinks, otherwise, we'd never, ever discuss our feelings. Would love thoughts on this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Without knowing anything about the dynamics of both marriages and the intertwining friendships, it's really taking a stab in the dark to respond here. But if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it's likely he feels the same way about you - he's attracted to you, but doesn't want to risk losing a good thing (his M) and it would REALLY mess up the friendships between everybody. I believe this kind of attraction naturally happens more often than many want to admit. Friendships & close siblings of your spouse - there's all kinds of chemistry flying around, and stems from your original attraction to your spouse. It's all related (excuse the pun). But NONE of it means you're obligated - or it's a good idea - to act on that attraction!! Link to post Share on other sites
sad puppy Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Are you willing to risk your relationship with your primary partner? Damage the trust and honor? If so, by all means carry on. It will be a wild and exciting ride with lots of hurt feelings, tears, and maybe a break up. On the other hand, if you value your marriage, do yourself a favor and spend some time reading the threads here. All that heartache is waiting for you, if you decide to betray your partner. Spoken as an xOW. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 We're 2 gay married couples, best friends and see each other several times per week. I feel I am in love with one of the friends. We've all had an intense friendship for 3 years and travel together too. The one I feel I'm in love with texts me every day and when I don't one day, he comments about it. Uses terms like "our song", and says he deletes our "intimate texts" though there is nothing sexual between us. Even though he seems very happily married (and I am for the most part), is he in love with me, or am I just meeting an emotional need in him? The only time we can truly talk is when we're both drunk or at least a few drinks, otherwise, we'd never, ever discuss our feelings. Would love thoughts on this situation? I think you're both flirting and enjoying the intimate and closeness of talking etc., and it feeds your ego's. You like how he makes you feel and I'm sure he likes how you make him feel. Why not focus that energy into your partner instead of him? It really is pointless and kind of like a game when you think of it.. Nothing is going to come of this, well, maybe a physical affair (if he kissed you, made a move on you, how would you react and respond?) but it won't last and you both will be hurting your spouses. Plus, a ruined friendship forever.. What is it that you're looking for to happen? Link to post Share on other sites
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