A little different story

[Girlygirl]

So please tell me if it is just me that thinks this is different?

 

So I met this man, he looks at me like he is totally in love but we are not involved, this goes on for very long. I didnt know he was married, found out when got interested. His friend knows, he is nice with me and tries to get info for him. An older friend of mine called him home to ask him something for work and his wife answered and she sounded sad and probably their two year old twins were asleep because she was whispering and my friend exclaimed "I am not his mistress!" But I am not either. Does she know about me? Could he be in love with me even though once we were talking about something else and he said "Sometimes when this happens circumstances arent alright" And look sad, kinda smiled sadly. and changed the subject. Or maybe he is a compulsive cheater, falling "in love" all the mother****ing time so his wife is always suspicious of every woman calling his home even her own mother? How can you tell a complusive cheater... ? I wish from the bottom of my heart he made himself available because otherwise I will keep avoiding him, but I am speechless around him. I wont happen and I will have to get over him. He just feels like if circumstances had been different it would be just perfect.

[carla]

I'm a bit confused here. Just b/c she answered the phone doesn't mean that she thinks he's having an affair. Did your friend just blurt out "I'm not his mistress"?

How do you know for sure that his wife was even thinking that he is having an affair? If she didn't know or suspect well I bet the fireworks are going off in that home now. Just b/c a married man is nice to you and looks at you doesn't mean he wants to have an affair. Maybe he's just a flirt. I got a bit confuse reading your post. Maybe I didn't get all of the facts straight.

[Girlygirl]

I am not his mistress either. You are right, he is a flirt with every woman and maybe with men too. You know you are actully throwing some common sense into it, maybe he just knows I ended up falling in his trap and is just making fun of me, he is making fun of me all the time. He listens to every word I say from a mile away, is desperate to hear my answer if someone elses asks me something cassual and may even reply from a distance wich is kinda spooky. Even when he is talking to others he is facing me. Maybe he pittys me, thinks Im young and stupid. Maybe I should die and stop having feelings, my luck sucks. Maybe he just feels good to many. Most likely. Any way it never happens to me, so whether they are attached or single should never be a problem, I will die single in some old age ****ty place. Damn you wherever you are Im stinking at school and I dont even know if you and me could possibly be any happy at all and you already have a goddamn life, why did you ommit the info that woman in the tape was your wife? I felt the love in that tape, I felt the woman was dead, my mistake. No need to understand the last part of my post.

 

No, it is both ways, I suppose he will choose to kill the feeling. If it is not both ways then he is trying to be nice with me because he feels sorry for me. I feel sorry for myself, I will never be happy, I dont fall in love that often. More like seldom, more like I wont be having a big crush till Im in my thirties or more. It just wont happen, why be with other people if the magic is not there and never starts blossoming, it isa not like if I give any other man a chance I will feel anything, I dont, Ive tried.

 

Why cant you love me back, if you do, how can I know, are you just happy to be alive, while do you look like my grandmother looked at me, no one looked at me liek that ever since, I thought it was love. Cant it be love? Iw ont steal you, I just cannot, It all up to you, wherever you are, if by any remote chance you decide to do that for me, I might do everything wrong but I will love you with all my heart for as long as you want to keep me. But I wont steal you, no move, Im sorry for holding your hand to long the other time, it was wrong. Dotn get too close ytou know how good you smell. Dont look at me with tenderness, you know you wont do anything, that you are played. Then she sill dump you maybe or you will be unhappy forever if you already are or happy or moderatwedly ok, wich is a lot and that is ok for you. And I will just keep all of my daydreams, in case you read this, you are always around,s o you might as well be on the net, maybe i just like to cry for all the love that is always denied to me. No, Id change patterns, you are the the earth for me grow. You dont know how much I cherish every little show of affection I ever get, I deserve a chance to eb happy, Damn you havent you overheard me curse unhappily because of this? Why am I still around, i didnt find a good excuse not to. I had decided to abort and I had to face you all winter, Please, I wont tell you this,I wont beg, I wont make any move, I am incapable of it. Maybe someone crazy told you I was slutty, I look like I could be, but you know better. You saw me freaked out at male nude pics on the puter screen.