18Years2Late Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I've been feeling really good lately...for about a month...no tears...no sadness...point of acceptance...it was nice...a much needed break... I've gotten rid of everything...gifts, pictures, etc...deleted and blocked all methods of communication... BUT...I missed one...my stupid iPhone calander that just so graciously reminded me that tomorrow is xMM's b-day... Sad...only a little...but still...I thought this was done... Just thought I'd post here instead of sending him an e-card...can't delete my memory of his email address...he's just blocked to mine... Link to post Share on other sites
TigerCub Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Good for you 18!!! I'm very happy for you and proud of you. As for the calendar thing - well, chances are, you would have remembered that anyways - so its not the worst thing ever. Good thinking on writing here rather than writing to him. Be very proud of yourself. I'm glad you're finding peace 1 Link to post Share on other sites
East7 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Hi 18Y2Late, It is always very difficult to deal with special dates, X-mass, Birthday etc. I have felt myself a lot of guilt when I chose not to send anything to xMW, even a short e-mail, text or whatever for special events. If you have established a strict NC, I don't think MM is expecting anything from you so you don't have to feel bad about not sending something. Just let it pass, the bday is only 24h Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 To quote another poster on this forum...it's HIS bday, not YOURS. Do you think he'll do anything for you on your bday... I was tempted to email my xmm on his bday as well and I had to remind myself of the above quote..it also helped to remember that although he'll do nothing for my bday, he will be buying flowers and taking his wife out for hers..helps me stay away when I remember that Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Great for posting versus sending a card! Throughout the helaing process I think little things usually happen, almost as an interference from the Universe to show you your true progress. Sometimes we feel we are way over something, because it is out of sight, but the true test is what happens when it is in sight. Almost like the Universe giving you your progress report or testing you so you see where you have improved and where you need to do more work. That was one of those moments....I am sure how you responded now is leaps and bounds from what you'd have done months ago. You are making great progress! Over time you'll occasionally be faced with such things....but keep on keeping on...it eventually gets to the point where you have another reminder or run-in relating to MM...even him showing up in your face, and you'll have no reaction or an easy time walking away. Then that will be the final graduation! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 18Years2Late Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 Thanks everyone! Yeah I'm sure I would have "remembered" it was just like WHAM slap in the face with it when I turned on my phone not expecting to see that...I guess I didn't need any "help" remembering... I was amazed at how much Valentines Day didn't bother me but then that did...oh well...life goes on... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I've been feeling really good lately...for about a month...no tears...no sadness...point of acceptance...it was nice...a much needed break... I've gotten rid of everything...gifts, pictures, etc...deleted and blocked all methods of communication... BUT...I missed one...my stupid iPhone calander that just so graciously reminded me that tomorrow is xMM's b-day... Sad...only a little...but still...I thought this was done... Just thought I'd post here instead of sending him an e-card...can't delete my memory of his email address...he's just blocked to mine... Whoa, stop beating up on yourself.. You're allowed to have sadness and miss him, and have a bad day or two .. I thought by the title of your thread that you caved and gave in, contacted him. You're fine..you're posting here instead. You're doing great! Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 Thanks everyone! Yeah I'm sure I would have "remembered" it was just like WHAM slap in the face with it when I turned on my phone not expecting to see that...I guess I didn't need any "help" remembering... I was amazed at how much Valentines Day didn't bother me but then that did...oh well...life goes on... Yeah, Valentines Day did come and go..for me as well. Did our xMM's remember us on V-day? No, they did not. so we shouldnt remember them on their birthdays, just like they wont remember us. Link to post Share on other sites
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