novagirl61 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 My boss retired last April 2011 and I haven't seen him in person since. I worked for him for 2 years. We hit it off right away and had a great working relationship. One day when I was going through a difficult time at work he gave me a hug at the end of our conversation. I was surprised to feel a strong physical connection with him. It was like WOW, that felt so right! I am 50 years old and married. He is 60 years old and married. You would think we would know better. Over time our feelings for each other increased but we never really acted on them - just flirted a little bit. When he left, he said he would call me with his cell phone number. I thought, yeah, right. But he called me like a week later and gave me the number and said he'd like to stay in touch. So, almost 8 months later now and we still talk on the phone about every 2 or 3 weeks. It's never sexual in nature except that we say I miss you. My question is, do you think it's okay for us to stay in touch or to keep this friendship going? I mean I'd love to date him if we were both single, but that's not going to happen. We've both been married a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Would either of your spouses think it is okay? Would they be fine with the "I miss you's"? Does his wife know you have his cell phone number? Is it okay if she called your husband and compared notes? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 My boss retired last April 2011 and I haven't seen him in person since. I worked for him for 2 years. We hit it off right away and had a great working relationship. One day when I was going through a difficult time at work he gave me a hug at the end of our conversation. I was surprised to feel a strong physical connection with him. It was like WOW, that felt so right! I am 50 years old and married. He is 60 years old and married. You would think we would know better. Over time our feelings for each other increased but we never really acted on them - just flirted a little bit. When he left, he said he would call me with his cell phone number. I thought, yeah, right. But he called me like a week later and gave me the number and said he'd like to stay in touch. So, almost 8 months later now and we still talk on the phone about every 2 or 3 weeks. It's never sexual in nature except that we say I miss you. My question is, do you think it's okay for us to stay in touch or to keep this friendship going? I mean I'd love to date him if we were both single, but that's not going to happen. We've both been married a long time. I think you already know the answer nova... If you thought it was okay, you'd not need to ask if it was okay. Are you unhappy in your marriage or just bored? I feel like people need to consider what their marriage is worth before they engage these types of situations. It often seems so harmless or sometimes seems like it is worth it to go there....and then when it all comes crashing down and they lose their marriage, they begin to realize how it wasn't worth it, especially if, they still love their spouse and were straying because of boredom or not addressing issues. I'd put my romantic energy into my marriage if I ultimately didn't want to lose it, versus trying to have it and a fling on the side. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 My question is, do you think it's okay for us to stay in touch or to keep this friendship going? I mean I'd love to date him if we were both single, but that's not going to happen. We've both been married a long time. Nothing to add, just sending (((((((hugs)))))))) your way:) Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 From your post it truly seems like you have found a true friend that you would like to cherish for the rest of life. With that said would or could you continue with just the conversation without taking it in the direction of having an affair? The reason why I am posing this question is because that is the one thing that I miss the most, loosing a dear friend. That person that you can call and speak to and things would be ok. You are risking loosing a friendship if you even attempt having an affair in your mind. In the end it’s up to you. Do you want him to be a part of your life for the rest of your life or would you risk loosing him as a friend forever just for a few moments of affection with him? Think about it that way. Enjoy your friendship for what it is, nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author novagirl61 Posted November 20, 2011 Author Share Posted November 20, 2011 Thank you all for your input, especially Emme. I do cherish this friendship and would rather keep that than have an affair and lose everything. Besides, I don't want to screw up his life either. I guess I just needed to confirm my feelings. Why is it so hard to be close friends with someone from the opposite sex? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Why is it so hard to be close friends with someone from the opposite sex? Actually it isn't. It's only when one or both people start having feelings and start thinking of eachother in a romantic way. And then talk about it, that makes it harder to be friends and keep things on the straight and narrow.. Link to post Share on other sites
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