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Should I check it out or get out?


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I have a male friend that has a live in girlfriend, but when he and I are around each other the sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife. When he and I are in the same room I catch him looking at me, he catches me looking at him and we flirt like we are back in jr high. :) I think she has an idea that there is something there because I have caught her watching him watch me, plus she tries so hard to keep me away from him...let me say that she and I aren't really friends, but when we are all together she is always asking me to go here and there with her, without him. I know from other friends that he is interested in me and that he doesn't really want to be with her, but feels obligated for various reasons to stay with her for the time being. We have fooled around once and it probably would have gone farther if she hadn't called and said she needed him home. He has told all of our friends that he needs Viagra to help him get hard and stay hard when he is with her, BUT, he didn't need any help the night we messed around. :D

 

My question is this....what should I do? I really do like him and I have no regrets for what we did or what we will do in the future.

With attraction between us both would it be fair for me to adventure out and find things in life that we may both be waiting for?

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Gee. What a great guy. I'd want him, too. :rolleyes: He flirts with another woman behind his girlfriend's back, tells everyone (but not the girlfriend) that he doesn't want to be with her, and even denigrates her to people. mmm boy - what a prize! I suppose you think that he wouldn't do anything like that to you if he were going out with you.

 

I know from other friends that he is interested in me and that he doesn't really want to be with her, but feels obligated for various reasons to stay with her for the time being.

 

This is the oldest story in the book. If you fall for that, you may deserve the grief you will eventually get.

 

If you honestly think this man is worth having, tell him that he can have his way with you when he's left his girlfriend and not before. If he's lying to her, he can lie to you and everyone else and you'll end up in one of those endless affairs just waiting for him to find 'the right moment' to leave.

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Let's see........he tells his friends he needs Viagra to stay hard with his girlfriend, says he doesn't want to be with her, and fools around with other women. Yes, this guy is a real winner. I think you should definitely go for it. Then you can be treated just like his current girlfriend is! :rolleyes:

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  • 2 weeks later...
lipglossboost

First of all, Viagra is for a medical condition called impotence. When a man is impotent, it means he cannot get an erection, no matter how attracted or excited he is. If you're falling for that statement, I worry for you.

 

Secondly, whatever he claims is the reason for staying with his girlfriend, he is with her. Period. You need to forget about anything beyond friendship with him until he is single again. These types of situations rarely get better and often get much, much worse. (Read the other posts to confirm it.)

 

I'm sure part of the excitement is that his girlfriend might 'catch' you, or you feel more powerful as a woman because he wants you, and she knows it. This is cowardly and insecure behavior. You might spend less time asking how you can make it work with a man who is taken, and ask yourself why you would want a taken man?

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I've posted answers to this same sort of thread several times. The deal is this....each situation seems "different and special". When, in fact, everyone of them turn out the same.

 

You can sleep with him....you can sleep with him many times....BUT if he hasn't left where he is "unhappy and unfulfilled" YET....he isn't going to do it later either. You are going to end up feeling "less than" and used. Even if he treats you wonderfully afterwards, and some guys do, you will STILL go thru a whole roller coaster of emotions and end up feeling like crap. You will end up not understanding why he doesn't LEAVE HER for YOU ....the woman who sooooo turns him on and is his "soul mate". This type of relationship just SUCKS big time!

 

You'll probably do it anyway....LOL! But when that day comes and you feel like your heart and pride has been ripped out and you feel exactly like a used condom....feel free to send me a private message. I will understand how you feel...and NOT say I told you so!!!

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  • 3 weeks later...

Arabessis is right...and pretty cool to offer a non-judgemental shoulder to cry on if needed.

 

From what I get, this guy is dissing his live-in. ..to me, it's like dissing your wife ..not married but still in a committed relationship.

 

He is a sh*t. And when you mess with it, it stinks you up too.

 

Got sexual tension? It's available or bust.

 

Good Luck.

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I know from other friends that he is interested in me and that he doesn't really want to be with her, but feels obligated for various reasons to stay with her for the time being.

 

 

Pit, Pit, listen, here, I'm a guy. Let me tell you something about some guys. When players want to upgrade partners, we do. We leave our loyal girlfriend for a lady whom we perceive has having substantially more value in terms of looks, brights, etc. We players can be brutally opportunistic about women. We throw them away like used kleenex.

 

When we don't want to leave our girlfriend, but want to bed a different woman, we tell this woman that we really want to be with her but, for "various reasons," we can't leave our girlfriend. Translation: You're good enough to f#ck but not hot enough for an upgrade.

 

Think about this the next time you flirt with your player buddy.

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With attraction between us both would it be fair for me to adventure out and find things in life that we may both be waiting for?

 

SO with this statement being said.... your already assuming you and he will be together eventually and your just going to continue being his girl on the side until his "obligations" with her are done? I agree with all of the posters and just to further their points...... hes using you.

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