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I can't get over my MW


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I know I shouldn't be thinking about her or even wanting to talk her.Being involved with this MW on and off for 12 yrs I never throught we would be were we are right now. We stayed extremely close when I left Fl in 2000. We kept the lines of commmunications open always. Now moving back to Fl in 2008 I was so happy because I knew who I was coming back to her. We picked up right where we lefted off from. But she kept telling me her life had changed. But loving each other never changed. She always said she wants to leave but she was scared. The H was never around she would be able to talk to me at 1, 2 am for hours she would actually fall asleep on the ph, she would wake up with the ph in her hand. We would meet two , three nights week. I could see she was stuggling coming back to what we left off at back in 2000. But she made the cross over. Sex was always outstanding.

 

We talked about being together her leaving, her kids are grown now well 22 and 18 still at home. But I could see things were changing we had disagreements more often. She was going back and forth wanting stay with her H and leaving. But I love you so much is what I always heard. Which I wanted to hear. Then back in Sept she hit me with I don't want this, you do your thing, that blew me away. I got so mad and because I put everything into her. I wanted no other woman .

 

The H found out about us due to me in back in Sept. Now she and I talk, She said I have no ideal what position I put her in with the H finding out about us. The H barely talks to her alot of times not sleeping in the same room . She barely talks to me for what I did. She said she forgives me for what I did but she is still mad with me. We talk but it's no baby I love you , I want you. We use to talk 2, 3 times a day, now once a day and it's very brief. She used tell me alot of life but now she saids it's none my concern due what I did. So if she is preparing for a D I wouldn't even know it. But I can't get her out of mind. I want to talk to her but she wanted space what ever the hell that means. I want her back. I know I'm wrong for feeling like I do. Good or Harsh comments I know coming my way.

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She's letting go, my friend. For whatever reason, she is letting go.

Let her go. Go no contact. Talking to her once a day does you no good. It gives you false hope, and allows you to hang on.

You've wasted 12 years of your life. Don't waste 13.

Stop contacting her.

Stop torturing yourself.

 

I know I should not talk to her anymore. I guess her leaving wasn't happening No matter what.

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((hurt)) Let her go so you can heal.

 

I am and will let her go. It hurts really bad. But I know I have to do it. But a part of me will still want her back.

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It's ok to want her back. Just don't act on it because you will prolong your pain. Allow yourself to hurt and mourn the relationship. Just don't go back. Go forward with no contact.

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Well I just got off the ph with the MW. We spoke for about 45 mins. I told her I couldn't continue talking with you. It was getting to hard for me. Knowing I want you back in my life, knowing I still love you very much. She seem like ice on the ph. She said due to me letting him know I put her in danger, She said I didn't care about her feelings. She saids the H barely talks to her also her boys know everything now, and she never throught her relationship with her boys would ever be tarnished with something like this. But the only good thing is her boys are grown. She asked me why couldn't I just walk away?

 

So I said to her wait you cheated on your H with me, and I'm paying for it. I gave you everything my heart and soul. No other woman could stand with her, but that was my fault. I told her you owe me a little respect here.She replied( I owe you nothing when it's over it's over) You just treated me like I didn't exist anymore, like this relationship never happenend. How do you that., But she said she couldn't tell me she didn't love me anymore (I won't tell you that), and she also said she misses what we had. But it was gone when I told the H. She told me take care of myself (I really mean that). That was our conversation. I feel like crap right now. What the hell do I do now?

Edited by HURT LOVER
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Ella whispers

*HUGS*

 

My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I know your hurt and it sucks, bad.

I hope that a wonderful woman comes your way and makes you feel as good as you made her feel.

 

I think that it's shame that's geting to her now. My daughter is 17 and she has the ability to make me feel about an inch tall when she has insight on myactions, she doesn't know about my A obviously, I was the OW, her head is hanging. They probably guilt her at every turn. She needs to lash out and that person is you because you take it.

If she feels that you should move on, then do it. For yourself.

You have the ability to only love one woman and that's rare.

Someone that deserves it should get that, not her.

Take care,

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princess1234

im with jthorne on this one. you need to stop calling her!! you have had the opportunity to be open about your relationship and together once the husband found out, because there were no more secrets! but she has chosen to stay and work on things with him. She has put H and kids first - you need to stop calling her and at least try to move on. dont let yourself get walked all over!! :(

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*HUGS*

 

My heart goes out to you, I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I know your hurt and it sucks, bad.

I hope that a wonderful woman comes your way and makes you feel as good as you made her feel.

 

I think that it's shame that's geting to her now. My daughter is 17 and she has the ability to make me feel about an inch tall when she has insight on myactions, she doesn't know about my A obviously, I was the OW, her head is hanging. They probably guilt her at every turn. She needs to lash out and that person is you because you take it.

If she feels that you should move on, then do it. For yourself.

You have the ability to only love one woman and that's rare.

Someone that deserves it should get that, not her.

Take care,

 

Wow thankyou for those kind words. I don't really know how she's feeling . She wouldn't say much on the phone to me. I did hear a change in her voice. Her boys mean the world to her. But the bottom line and I had to understand this that she disrespected her marriage,vows. I have my fault in this also I'm not above judgement either. She told me it wasn't what I said it's how her H found out. But this going to take awhile get over her. I just wonder if she is feeling the same thing?

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im with jthorne on this one. you need to stop calling her!! you have had the opportunity to be open about your relationship and together once the husband found out, because there were no more secrets! but she has chosen to stay and work on things with him. She has put H and kids first - you need to stop calling her and at least try to move on. dont let yourself get walked all over!! :(

 

I'm taking Jthrone advice. I'm not calling her anymore it hurts for sure. Cause I would have taken her how ever I could get her. Just know she is still in my life.

Edited by HURT LOVER
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