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Length of affair/EMR


jennie-jennie

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jennie-jennie

I found this information on the internet:

 

"About 10 percent of affairs are a one-time and one-day event.

 

About 10 percent last more than one day, but less than a month.

 

Approximately half of affairs last more than a month but less than a year.

 

The remainder of the affairs last longer than a year, with only a very few lasting four or more years."

 

(From “Percentage of Married Couples Who Cheat” by Lindsay Richardson)

 

I am interested in which categories the OW posters on LS fall. It could help us see if we represent a random segment of the affair population or if we are overrepresenting one particular category.

 

The last category, which is affairs that last longer than a year, would be approximately 30% of affairs according to the above. Of these 30% only very few last four or more years. So I belong to that very small percentage as our EMR has passed the four year mark.

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jennie-jennie
Me too. We should compare anniversary dates:cool:

 

December 1st. :love::love::love:

 

I even know it was a Thursday. The shock of seeing his name again after 31 years is imprinted forever in my memory.

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December 1st. :love::love::love:

 

I even know it was a Thursday. The shock of seeing his name again after 31 years is imprinted forever in my memory.

Ours was in August, on a Wednesday.:cool::love::)

 

I found your stats interesting. I know of a lot of affairs that lasted much longer than the ones you stated. I suppose out of all the affairs there are subcategories such as flings, love affairs, and FWB types of affairs.

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Mine has been going on for almost 8 years! I just sent 3 NC yesterday morning. This is the first time I have tried NC again since July. The most we have gone since the time in July was about two weeks! I am just praying for strength!

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The A part lasted a few years, then he moved out and she divorced him. If you count that time of our supposedly "honest" relationship too, I'd be with you Jennie.

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Wow, I am amazed that so many remember the day of the week!

 

LOL.. I think I mostly remember it because it was one day before my 14th wedding anniversary that he out of the blue contacted me, and we spent the whole night talking. And since my now exH ignored me on our anniversary the same as he did any other day of the year, I spent my anniversary falling in love with an old friend.. though I wasn't aware yet that that was what I was doing.... :o

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jennie-jennie
My A started when I was 19. It was off and on for 18 years. We'd go a couple years, then I'd get tired of his crap. I'd maybe have my own relationships with single men, then he'd pull me back in. If you counted the years full-time, I'd say 10 years. 10 years of wasted time and damage to my soul and self esteem that I'm now correcting.

 

Wow, you have the record so far! Sorry that you feel that way about it.

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My A started when I was 19. It was off and on for 18 years. We'd go a couple years, then I'd get tired of his crap. I'd maybe have my own relationships with single men, then he'd pull me back in. If you counted the years full-time, I'd say 10 years. 10 years of wasted time and damage to my soul and self esteem that I'm now correcting.

Wow, I'm thinking you could have been M and had kids by now at least. It's still not too late for you though. I'm glad you're doing what you can to make the most of your life now. Best of luck.

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I found this information on the internet:

 

"About 10 percent of affairs are a one-time and one-day event.

 

About 10 percent last more than one day, but less than a month.

 

Approximately half of affairs last more than a month but less than a year.

 

The remainder of the affairs last longer than a year, with only a very few lasting four or more years."

 

(From “Percentage of Married Couples Who Cheat” by Lindsay Richardson)

 

I am interested in which categories the OW posters on LS fall. It could help us see if we represent a random segment of the affair population or if we are overrepresenting one particular category.

 

The last category, which is affairs that last longer than a year, would be approximately 30% of affairs according to the above. Of these 30% only very few last four or more years. So I belong to that very small percentage as our EMR has passed the four year mark.

 

Mines a little different than the other posters. EA only but has lasted about 4 years. Never thought it could last that long without being physical. But still going.

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The A part lasted a few years, then he moved out and she divorced him. If you count that time of our supposedly "honest" relationship too, I'd be with you Jennie.

 

If I am not being rude, can I ask what happened to the two of you, if I am overstepping, meaning things you donot wish to discuss I apologize...I am just curious as to my own situation....

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We are more than one year less than 4 years. It was a Friday in March and started, cliche I know, right after a work happy hour. Just kissing but he knocked my socks off. I had never been attracted to someone like I was, and still am, towards him. :love:

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Mines a little different than the other posters. EA only but has lasted about 4 years. Never thought it could last that long without being physical. But still going.

 

Mine wasn't physical either, although EA was two-ish yrs and 3 yrs doing whatever it was that went on...

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The A part lasted a few years, then he moved out and she divorced him. If you count that time of our supposedly "honest" relationship too, I'd be with you Jennie.

 

Sorry, saw your story in another thread....

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Ours started last summer- July sometime.....don't have a date.....don't need or want one. I haven't seen him since the end of January. Haven't had sex since right before Thanksgiving (I want to, but I don't- ooo my mixed feelings lol). We still talk though, who knows what will happen in the future. So overall, less than year, and possibly still going.

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April 2009...we had a DDay in November and he was in touch less than a week later...another DDay in January and he was in touch less than 3 weeks later. Not sure where it's going at this point, but I'm dating others and enjoying my life. I'd see him because I truly do love him, but I won't stop living my life and change things around for him. He can be part of my life, but he won't be a priority.

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I am interested in which categories the OW posters on LS fall. It could help us see if we represent a random segment of the affair population or if we are overrepresenting one particular category.

 

We met in 2003. I did some research on him and decided I was interested. I arranged for us to meet again in 2004, which was the start of the A. He left his W early in 2008, and his D was finalised early in 2009, at which point we M. So, depending on how you do the maths, the A was either three or four years long, or even five or six.

 

One year of M to date. :)

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Mine wasn't physical either, although EA was two-ish yrs and 3 yrs doing whatever it was that went on...

 

What happened to end it and how did yall decide it would not become physical? Just curious to know how these things work. It seems an odd situation i am in.

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I guess i was also a long term, over 5 years, I think oct or Nov 2004:o Unlike the rest on the board, I forgot the date :laugh: But now I am counting other days, and that are the months that I took my "self" back !!! Getting stronger by the day, so gals, there is HOPE, just got to keep moving forwards and think about yourself for a change. Amazing how the dynamics change, ever watch a mm going through what you go through? Turn the tables, its really kinda of funny!! Wish i figured that out in the first year

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