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In love with a married man? the more I get to know him, the more I like him


The Other Man / Woman The other side of the story: Support and discussion for those who find themselves involved with a committed partner.

 
 
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Old 8th February 2004, 10:51 PM   #61
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?????????

Eastside, I am not sure what you mean. Are you saying that, the wife taking love for granted is right?

Call me old-fashion, but I thought the wife was the one who cooked, cleaned, raised the children, and showed the working husband all the love in the world. I know times have changed but please. He is a hard working man but to have to come home to that, is crazy. He deserves better than that. Any man deserves better than that. She works too, but I thought the marital responsibilities should be shared.

Please respond.
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Old 8th February 2004, 11:04 PM   #62
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I totally agree with you that wife should do all what you said, I was just stating the fact. When people get married, the bride did not vow that she would cook, clean, wash, give sex....all the stuff, she only needs to love and not cheat. As long as she loves (very hard to define, could mean care about) and not cheat, she is a good wife.
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Old 8th February 2004, 11:12 PM   #63
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Married?

Eastside, are you married?

Have you ever been in love with someone so far out of reach?
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Old 8th February 2004, 11:24 PM   #64
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Complicated,
I totally understand your frustration. My heart goes out for you not the wife. But in the meantime, I also want you to get ride of the "unfair" thoughts. Only losers think it is unfair. Start to think differently, different thing might happen.
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Old 8th February 2004, 11:31 PM   #65
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I see!

I have no problem with his wife. Mostly because I don't know her.

I am just getting advice on how to understand her. I have seen her before and I think she is a beautiful person.

I do not lay blame on either party. It takes two to tango. I am sure he isn't Mr. Perfect either. Nor am I.

All I know, is that I am in love with this man. Maybe it is wrong but I can't help the way I feel. Some people think otherwise, I'm sure.

I think about her too. I don't want to hurt her nor his children. Perhaps, that is the direction I am heading, but it will be unintentional.

I just can't lose him.
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Old 8th February 2004, 11:37 PM   #66
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Eastside

I don't want you to think I am attacking what you are saying. I very much appreciate your advice.

You are right, it is very frustrating. I don't know what to do nor who to turn to.

Thank-you for listening.
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Old 9th February 2004, 6:26 PM   #67
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Hey,
There is nothing wrong loving anyone. Please don't feel that way. We are free to love anyone, anything.
But your frustration might be that you have given a lot but was afraid of no return. That is not true love. See, you love your child, you are fine if there is no return from him/her, you love him/her anyway.
You should feel fortunate that you have been loving someone, been crazy at least once in your life. Do you know how many people out there had had no idea what your feeling is?It is tormenting, but like roller-coaster, or bunji jumping, scary...but only the ones who did knew what they feel like. You are one of them.

I did not feel you were attacking me. I understood what you felt.

Eastside
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Old 9th February 2004, 8:43 PM   #68
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Thanks Eastside!

Thank you so much for understanding my situation.

I have had alot of feedback from all you wonderful people and it helps me greatly.

Eastside, what you said in your last reply, touched me. Thank you for telling me that it is ok for me to love this man. I needed that. I completely understand all the other opinions too. Think actually made me stop and think about what might happen in the long run.

I am blinded with love right now and I will most likely get hurt. I will never know if I don't try. I recently talked myself into avoiding an affair. I respect his wife and therefor that will not happen. He will have to play this "game" of love, fair and square. He must make a decision.

Thank you so much to all of you. It means more than you know!!!
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Old 3rd August 2004, 6:16 PM   #69
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Red face in love with a married man

I MET SOMEONE ABOUT 2 1/2 YEARS AGO AND IT WAS OVER THE PHONE THROUGH WORK. THERE WAS AN INSTANT CONNECTION, THEN ONE DAY I WENT TO TAKE HIM SOME PAPER WORK AND WE WERE BOTH SO ATTRACTED TO ONE ANOTHER THAT WE STARTED TALKING SERIOUSLY ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. HE TOLD ME RIGHT OFF THE BAT HIS SITUATION MARRIED TWO KIDS......I HAVE BEEN IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP FOR ABOUT 8 YEARS AND RECENTLY GOT ENGAGED. WE WENT ON A FEW DATES AND WE'VE BEEN SEEING EACHOTHER SOMETIMES EVEN 2-3 TIMES A WEEK FOR THE PAST YEAR AND WE BOTH HAVE FALLEN FOR EACHOTHER. I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE MAKES ME HAPPY. HE SEEMS SO HAPPY WITH ME AND RECENTLY SHOWN ME THAT HE CARES BY THE PHONE CALLS AND THE E-MAILS......................HE'S BEEN MARRIED FOR ABOUT 10 YEARS BUT WE ARE BOTH YOUNG I'M 21 HES 28 AND HIS FIRST THOUGHT ON THE SUBJECT OF LEAVING HER WAS HIS KIDS.....HE DIDN'T WANT HIS KIDS TO GROW UP IN A SINGLE FAMILY HOME.....MY OPINION ON THAT IS THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING IN A TWO PARENT HOME THAT'S ALWAYS FIGHTINH AND UNHAPPY. MAYBE BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE CHILDREN. I AM VERY CONFUSED ABOUT MY SITUATION I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE WITH THE PERSON I'M WITH EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM IN ANY WAY LIKE I AM WITH THE OTHER ONE....................I KNOW THAT WE ALL HAVE ISSUES BUT HE PROPOSED TO ME AND I ACCEPTED BUT RECENTLY MY FEELINGS FOR THE OTHER ONE IS OVERWHELMING AND HE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY IF I LOVED HIM AND I WAS LIKE YES I CAN HONESTLY SAY YES I LOVE YOU HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID I LOVE YOU TOO....HE WAS LIKE I KNOW IT WOULD WORK BETWEEN US, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO APPROACH IT AND I DON'T WANT TO BE THE GUILTY PARTY.....I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT FEELING BAD ABOUT HURTING THE OTHER PERSON BUT I DON'T WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE AND NOT BE HAPPY.........I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I SUGGESTED TO SEE A COUNSELOR FOR MYSELF TO SORT IT OUT BUT WE'LL SEE...........I'M SO CONFUSED...............
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Old 4th August 2004, 5:23 PM   #70
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I posted this somewhere else, but I think it applies here too.

My friend recently sent me an email after my latest crying spree over my MM. When reading it, pretend it was sent to you by your most dear friend, who only has your happiness in mind:

Girl, I am telling you that you need to get away from this situation
soon b/c it is only going to cause you more pain. He is not going to
change. I am sure he is loving having you at his convenience, but he's
not going to change his life (if you know what I mean) for you. He's
made that clear. If it is causing you heartache now, its only going to
get worse. You will find someone else who can give you everything you
want (as opposed to just the physical stuff - no matter how good). The
more you drag it out, the harder its going to be.... So sorry this is
happening. Life is not fair.
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