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Ending the affair


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I have been in an affair for a out 3 years now. Sometimes physical and sometimes emotional. Last week I talked to my OM and told him how I was feeling about stuff. We both agreed my attention should be to my husband and children right now at this point in my life. I agree with him and haven't spoke, emailed, texted or IM'd him for 10 days now. Is it possible to love 2 people? My husband is a great guy its just that I've never felt to this level with him. The sex is completely different and the emotional connection is quite different too. They say that when you are ready to end the A that you shouldn't have contact with your lover forever. That will be really hard on me as we have known each other for close to 5 years. We just started out as coworkers and friends. Why am I in so much pain? I posted over the infidelity site and people really judged me. I was hoping to get more understanding on this side. Thank you.

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Hi JG,

 

I hope that's not your real name.

 

I can imagine how hard this break up is for you.

 

Everyone has a different lesson to take in life. Yours may be to find the love of your life. Or maybe it is to learn how to be faithful. Still another, to be there for your kids and put them before yourself. For me, I thought long and hard on this and felt I had to leave my H because my lesson was to learn how to stand up for myself and I truly believe it is my H's lesson to learn compassion and hopefully to find out what true love is. I really hope he learns it in this life.

 

Does this make any sense to you? If so, do you have an idea of what your life lesson is?

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I see no problem in being able to love two different people. The love connection is not necessarily identical since the circumstances behind it are different. Ignore what some of the posters say. I decided, as an experiment, to post some of my personal experiences that happened to me personally some time in the past and see the reaction from this group. It was quite something. People here are very judgemental. Some of them like to play mind games. Fine with me since I can play it, too.

 

If you can keep it civil between the three of you, I see no problem. Us women tend to be naturally protective of our 'guys' and this creates a lot of problems in my view. Don't get me wrong, I love my guy but I am also an adult and so is he. So if he ever strays, I will have a heart to heart talk with him to figure things out. I won't just jump all over him. There has to be a series of reasons why the behavior expressed itself. If I can't provide, and someone can, so be it. And if the relationship turns into a three way, fine with me if everyone knows their roles and boundaries in the new relationship. Life is too short.

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Is it possible to love 2 people? My husband is a great guy its just that I've never felt to this level with him. The sex is completely different and the emotional connection is quite different too. They say that when you are ready to end the A that you shouldn't have contact with your lover forever. That will be really hard on me as we have known each other for close to 5 years. We just started out as coworkers and friends. Why am I in so much pain? I posted over the infidelity site and people really judged me. I was hoping to get more understanding on this side. Thank you.

 

Depends. If you think love is just a feeling... then yes you can love 2 at once. I think love is more than just that, so I'd say no you can't.

 

I don't know why this hurts. I wish I could tell you, but I think deep down you already know.

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Is it possible to love 2 people?

 

Personally, I do think it is possible to love 2 different people just that the love you have for another differs - if that makes any sense.

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