Trouble brewing! MM is an a$$

[DarlingDoll]

Ok, I let it be well known that I had a small obsession with the wife. You know... driving by the school and house where she frequents.

Well, it looks like I took it too far this time. My MM caught me following her vehicle one day and last night after we had an hour of sex, he told me that he cannot continue seeing me any longer and expressed his reasons why. All of a sudden, a flood of emotions started flowing and before I knew it, I was sobbing. He told me that his wife was being much more attentive lately after a few surgeries she had done with her body, which made her insecure before when naked. I'm not even going to repeat the surgeries she's had cause I find all plastic surgeries gross.

 

Today, my emotions switched to rage. Why would he choose this woman over me and let me go in this manner after making love to me??? I'm considering telling the wife in an explicit manner because of the pain I'm now experiencing. Writing a note about our sex life should suffice, but it would be more pleasurable to do this in person. Or luring her hubby in for one last screw and taping it.. then sending the tape. The rage is almost uncontrollable and I'm thinking of doing some really nasty and heinous things right about now! I feel like hurting someone almost.

[Citizen Erased]

You need the help only a trained mental health professional provides. You are stalking an innocent woman and have expressed a need to hurt other people. You need to really get some help.

[Cobra_X30]

Sorry, I am so not the person to provide advice on this one! I'm way up into the whole vengeance thing too. Anyway.

 

Just try and listen to Coco.... if you cant let go on your own that is.

[OWoman]

Why would he choose this woman over me

 

is that a serious question? Do you actually want an answer to that?

 

and let me go in this manner after making love to me???

 

Making love to you, or having sex with you? It strikes me as the latter, given the context.

 

And I think the answer on that one is clear - if he'd dumped you first, he wouldn't have gotten the sex. So he did the sex first, and then the dumping.

 

I'm considering telling the wife in an explicit manner because of the pain I'm now experiencing. Writing a note about our sex life should suffice, but it would be more pleasurable to do this in person. Or luring her hubby in for one last screw and taping it.. then sending the tape. The rage is almost uncontrollable and I'm thinking of doing some really nasty and heinous things right about now! I feel like hurting someone almost.

 

Why pick on his wife when it's him you want to get back at? Sounds like she has enough problems, with her insecurities about her body, her straying husband and arb women stalking her.

 

Before you get carried away with your revenge fantasies - do you want to keep your job? Already you're relying on your boss for more than just the income due to you. He's overlooking your mistakes and helping with your car payments. Given your precarious financial position, being fired on top of being dumped is going to pretty much put you out on the street. Think about that before you act.

[DarlingDoll]

is that a serious question? Do you actually want an answer to that?

 

 

 

Making love to you, or having sex with you? It strikes me as the latter, given the context.

 

And I think the answer on that one is clear - if he'd dumped you first, he wouldn't have gotten the sex. So he did the sex first, and then the dumping.

 

 

 

Why pick on his wife when it's him you want to get back at? Sounds like she has enough problems, with her insecurities about her body, her straying husband and arb women stalking her.

 

Before you get carried away with your revenge fantasies - do you want to keep your job? Already you're relying on your boss for more than just the income due to you. He's overlooking your mistakes and helping with your car payments. Given your precarious financial position, being fired on top of being dumped is going to pretty much put you out on the street. Think about that before you act.

 

 

I honestly think I'd risk having to live in my car, I'm so angry!!!!

 

And if he fired me over the affair, I could likely sue his a$$.

[OWoman]

I honestly think I'd risk having to live in my car, I'm so angry!!!!

 

Your car would be repossessed once he stopped the payments.

 

And if he fired me over the affair, I could likely sue his a$$.

 

He wouldn't fire you over the affair. He'd fire you over all the mistakes you've made in your work. He may have been overlooking them so far, but if he needs a reason for dismissal, he'll haul them all up as evidence.

 

You're on shaky ground here. Think before you do anything stupid.

[DarlingDoll]

Your car would be repossessed once he stopped the payments.

 

 

 

He wouldn't fire you over the affair. He'd fire you over all the mistakes you've made in your work. He may have been overlooking them so far, but if he needs a reason for dismissal, he'll haul them all up as evidence.

 

You're on shaky ground here. Think before you do anything stupid.

 

 

NOT when I'd be saving TONS of money on mortgage payments and utilities AND taxes!

 

The mistakes I've made are not severe enough to warrant firing..

 

Please stop trying to use FEAR TACTICS to change my mind!

One way or another, they both WILL have it coming. I guarantee that much!

Don't worry.. I'll have a job lined up before my WRATH truly starts and I can leach another couple of months of free car payments in the time being if he continues those expenditures.

 

I'm going to start my sex tape plan though in the time being and have it prepared to mail after I leave the job.

[lindya]

Don't worry.. I'll have a job lined up before my WRATH truly starts

 

Phew! Thank God for that.

 

I'm going to start my sex tape plan though in the time being and have it prepared to mail after I leave the job.

 

A spot of blackmail certainly sounds like the way to go. If your home ends up getting repossessed at least you'll have somewhere to stay (given that the bungalow plan you had when you were posting under a different username has evidently fallen through). If prison food's really bad, you can always just go on a lengthy fast. Then when you get out, you'll be thin enough to give MM's wife a bit of serious competition. It's a win/win situation really.

[Fancee]

I understand your pain. But I can see clearly how your anger can get you into prison. I see how it can make someone hurt you and end up in prison.

 

Your obsession with a mm wife is crossing the line from normal women hurting. What is normal is wanting to tell the wife. Those are normal ways to vent anger on a MM. But you following her around with obsession is criminal and not very normal.

You could get taken over by this obsession and do something and it will to be late. This guy realizes it a dangerous thing you are doing.

 

But on the flipside; just calm down and back off for a while. Act like you are okay with and play the game out right. Stop obsessing with wife.

 

Once he see that he has over judged you - he will so happy to embrace you again. He will wants to experience what he really loves about you again. Thats the only real problem he got with you.

 

I am saying since you told us we know better so take care of yourself and don't get in any trouble. Just back off and let things cool down. Its not over with you and him. Just because he is marry and telling you that doesn't mean its true. He is just frighten and you show him you can back off. Then before you know it he will be back on you and everything.

[SoxPrincess]

Wow, I don't even know what to say...you are truly frightening and very disturbed. Does your MM have children? Does your plan of shock & awe and total destruction take the kids into consideration, if he does have kids? What has his wife done to you? I honestly can't believe your entertaining the idea of hurting someone who is innocent and has done nothing to you.

 

I highly recommend seeking some serious professional help before you hurt someone else or yourself. I understand your pain but what you're thinking of doing is insane.

[PoshPrincess]

Ok, I let it be well known that I had a small obsession with the wife. You know... driving by the school and house where she frequents.

Well, it looks like I took it too far this time. My MM caught me following her vehicle one day and last night after we had an hour of sex, he told me that he cannot continue seeing me any longer and expressed his reasons why. All of a sudden, a flood of emotions started flowing and before I knew it, I was sobbing. He told me that his wife was being much more attentive lately after a few surgeries she had done with her body, which made her insecure before when naked. I'm not even going to repeat the surgeries she's had cause I find all plastic surgeries gross.

 

Today, my emotions switched to rage. Why would he choose this woman over me and let me go in this manner after making love to me??? I'm considering telling the wife in an explicit manner because of the pain I'm now experiencing. Writing a note about our sex life should suffice, but it would be more pleasurable to do this in person. Or luring her hubby in for one last screw and taping it.. then sending the tape. The rage is almost uncontrollable and I'm thinking of doing some really nasty and heinous things right about now! I feel like hurting someone almost.

 

DarlingDoll, I understand what you're going through and can even understand your motives as these relationships are a total headf*ck. Please, though, don't do anything! I know it will make you feel better at the time but believe me, you will end up regretting it! You have got to get some help for your own sanity.

 

Your boss may not have sufficient reasons to fire you but he will more than likely find a way, either that or drive you out! The last thing you need on top of all this is to be out of work too. I KNOW you are hurting and you want your revenge - at least you have the front to admit it rather than do the whole, "she deserves to know" thing - but the only person you will hurt in the long run is yourself. Your MM will end up wriggling out of it one way or the other, his bs will undoubtedly believe his word over yours and you will be left looking like the troublemaker. The main thing I regret about my R with MM was walking away feeling like I had lost every ounce of self-respect. Do yourself a favour and don't make that mistake too!

 

I am really feeling for you reading this because I honestly felt like I was going insane at the time too and despite what you are planning on doing you sound like you're in total turmoil and don't need any bashing. Please PM me if you want.

 

x

[KATANYA]

Ok, I let it be well known that I had a small obsession with the wife. You know... driving by the school and house where she frequents.

Well, it looks like I took it too far this time. My MM caught me following her vehicle one day and last night after we had an hour of sex, he told me that he cannot continue seeing me any longer and expressed his reasons why. All of a sudden, a flood of emotions started flowing and before I knew it, I was sobbing. He told me that his wife was being much more attentive lately after a few surgeries she had done with her body, which made her insecure before when naked. I'm not even going to repeat the surgeries she's had cause I find all plastic surgeries gross.

 

Today, my emotions switched to rage. Why would he choose this woman over me and let me go in this manner after making love to me??? I'm considering telling the wife in an explicit manner because of the pain I'm now experiencing. Writing a note about our sex life should suffice, but it would be more pleasurable to do this in person. Or luring her hubby in for one last screw and taping it.. then sending the tape. The rage is almost uncontrollable and I'm thinking of doing some really nasty and heinous things right about now! I feel like hurting someone almost.

 

Take a deep breath and SLOW DOWN! You really need to re-group here and decide what it really is that you want. I know you say you feel like hurting someone but (I'm hoping) that is just a reaction to the anger you feel at MM. His W has done nothing to you.....she doesn't even know about you, YET! And, do you know what, until you decide what you want, I don't think I'd be too quick to make the tape and send it!

 

Let's forget about the stalking thing for a bit...let's talk about YOU and the MM.

 

What do you really want here? Do you love him? Did he promise that you would be together? Was he going to leave his wife? Forgive my ignorance, I will go back and read your previous posts but it seems to me that you need to decide if you want this man back in your life. I know you are mad as hell now but, in a week or so when the dust settles and he comes crawling back with his tail between his legs missing you, DO YOU WANT HIM BACK? If the answer is yes then you need to get yourself together and make a plan! (that does not include chasing his wife around and destroying his life-two sure fire ways to make sure you lose him forever!)

 

Secondly, why are you so fascinated with his W? So, he's married. He found her first. She married him before he ever met you. They have a life (which is obviously not enough for him or you wouldn't be in this position). She is oblivious to you......KEEP IT THAT WAY! At least for now. He didn't choose her over you.......he chose her BEFORE you. Now he's chosen YOU as well and you need to decide with a clear head whether you can accept having only part of him like she does. I promise you, even if he left her and came to you, you will still only have PART of him.

 

If, once you settle down and make a plan, you know in your heart you don't want any part of MM and that what he did TO HER and to YOU was very wrong, then you can tell her. Right now you don't know if she recognizes you from all the chasing around you have done. You don't know if he has started covering his tracks with her about you..saying he thinks a woman from work is obsessed with him, blah blah blah. You don't even know if they have already contacted the police with 'concerns' about you...you may be being watched yourself (at work and other). BE CAREFEUL!!!! MM's a$$ is on the line here and he knows it! He's got to make a cover story that protects himself in case you do go to the wife. And further, she may already be on to you if you've been driving around behind her repeatedly.....women are much more observant then men.

 

The best thing I feel you can do is the OPPOSITE to what he would expect you to do. Go to work, do an amazing job, be friendly and polite but offer no lead ins to any personal time with him.......ACT LIKE YOU COULD CARE LESS that he dumped you! That will completely throw him for a loop! Give the whole scenerio time to settle. Take all that rage and anger and turn it to determination that this man WILL NOT be the ruination of you! I would not accept any payment he tried to make, I would not accept an invitation to coffee........KEEP YOUR DISTANCE (you win here because that will make him EVEN MORE curious)

 

Finally, and I know you don't want to hear this, you really need to talk this out with someone. A counsellor, a friend, SOMEONE! You are hurting and you can't go through this alone. I'm more concerns that you will get even more hurt - is this MM really worth it? Is his life worth more than yours? Are you willing to throw YOURSELF and your dignity, respect, reputation and EVERYTHING else away just to show him how much he hurt you? I've yet to meet a man that deserved to take everything I am and everything I've worked for - let along give it to him willingly! You have read enough on here to know that the MM always manages to survive the A - most of the time by destroying the OW in the process........prove him wrong here! Don't let him destroy the person you know you are!

[child_of_isis]

He is letting you loose, not because "his wife has become more attentive"...but he has realized that you have become dangerous.

 

In all probability, he is worried about his wife due to your stalking.

 

I would get my butt to a professional if I were you. Like yesterday.

 

Also, listen to these folks and start looking for a new job. In the work force when it comes down to Boss vs. OW, the OW loses.

[Je Ne Regrette Rien]

Why it is his wifes fault that HE chose her over you?

 

Your anger is misplaced, certainly. And anger has no place in healing you and setting you free from the torment you and your MM have put yourself in.

 

Steps to ending your torment...

 

• Put the focus of your anger on your MM by KEEPING YOUR DIGNITY. Be dignified in all that you do. Let the MM know that he wasn't the full focus of your entire life by moving on without him

• Let the W live with her H without your input. Why would she need the pain of hearing her H having sex with you? Your cruelty will soon turn into regret when a) You may face prosecution b) The W forgives her H even more because the OW was just some crazed vengeful stalker c) You look back and realise it was MM who put you in this position not her.

• Take responsbility for your actions and have some control. What do you actually want in life? Do you want to be loved? Do you want a happy relatonship? Do you want to be independent, free from pain? Yes? Then get in the queue and start paying your dues for the life you want to lead

[OWoman]

He is letting you loose, not because "his wife has become more attentive"...but he has realized that you have become dangerous.

 

I agree with that take. If it was just his wife became more attentive, why would he not still enjoy what he has on the side, only with an even bigger smile on his face as he now has TWO very attentive women instead of one and a bit.

 

I think he was looking for a softer way to dumping you, DD - one that didn't say "this is getting out of hand and you scare me", but one which said clearly "it's over" nonetheless.

 

Ultimately, you need to decide how much dignity you want to try to salvage in how you walk away from this.

[whichwayisup]

Ok, I let it be well known that I had a small obsession with the wife. You know... driving by the school and house where she frequents.

Well, it looks like I took it too far this time. My MM caught me following her vehicle one day and last night after we had an hour of sex, he told me that he cannot continue seeing me any longer and expressed his reasons why.

 

Today, my emotions switched to rage. Why would he choose this woman over me and let me go in this manner after making love to me???

This is why:

 

Ok, I let it be well known that I had a small obsession with the wife. You know... driving by the school and house where she frequents.

Well, it looks like I took it too far this time. My MM caught me following her vehicle one day and last night after we had an hour of sex, he told me that he cannot continue seeing me any longer and expressed his reasons why.

You're freaking him out by stalking his wife! I doubt he actually would tell you the real reason, because he's scared of what you're capable of. People that go around following someone IS freaky behaviour. It's unhealthy behaviour and you need to get some counselling in.

 

All of a sudden, a flood of emotions started flowing and before I knew it, I was sobbing. He told me that his wife was being much more attentive lately after a few surgeries she had done with her body, which made her insecure before when naked. I'm not even going to repeat the surgeries she's had cause I find all plastic surgeries gross.

 

I am sorry that you're in pain, but you've brought this on yourself. By settling to be the OW, by stalking his wife...Now, he has chosen to stay with his wife. Sure it sucks and it hurts but you're going to have to accept this and let go. Get some counselling. You need it.

 

 

I'm considering telling the wife in an explicit manner because of the pain I'm now experiencing. Writing a note about our sex life should suffice, but it would be more pleasurable to do this in person. Or luring her hubby in for one last screw and taping it.. then sending the tape. The rage is almost uncontrollable and I'm thinking of doing some really nasty and heinous things right about now! I feel like hurting someone almost.

 

His wife doesn't deserve this from you! You have no right to tell her anything. It's a cruel thing you're planning and if you go through with this, YOU will suffer the fallout as well. Your own professional reputation as well as your personal reputation.

 

Right now you have the choice to handle this a mature way, DO NOT go for revenge. As I said, the behaviour you've displayed, and now you've been caught by your MM, is your own doing. Take responsibility for that by changing yourself INTO a better and calmer person. Therapy.

[Lezbean]

Not to be mean, but if his wife got a really great boob job he is probably forking the hell out of her. I bet it totally changed the way he looks at her and I bet she is feeling a lot more confident and interested in him.

[Virgo1982]

 

I am really feeling for you reading this because I honestly felt like I was going insane at the time too and despite what you are planning on doing you sound like you're in total turmoil and don't need any bashing. Please PM me if you want.

 

x

 

I respectfully disagree with you on this one. I think he had every right to terminate the relationship. If I were with someone-no matter what the relationship, I would have to leave them alone if they were behaving this way.

[reboot]

You always have the right to end ANY relationship.

[Galexia]

Please don't hurt yourself further by ruining his relationship. They clearly already have problems, and if you think for a second, you telling Wife about it is going to getrevenge, you are wrong. You would only be hurting yourself in the long run. Try to be mature, accept what is and move on. A key word in this case....SURRENDER. You will only be more unhappy once you ruin his relationship with wife.

[Virgo1982]

You always have the right to end ANY relationship.

 

I think you know what I was saying. In case you don't, he had the right to end it without her feeling like she was wronged. It seems that she wronged herself.

 

IOW, if he had or had not planned to leave his wife for her, I'm sure he decided that she was too unstable to be involved with on any level.

 

Anyway, if she doesn't do some soul-searching, I fear she will end up in jail somewhere down the line.

[AJS]

So I guess trying to have his baby didn't work for you? Didn't you say that you didn't have feelings for him? WHY are you becoming a stalker then? He has made it pretty clear that he's done with you, and wants his home bound wifey. It seems to me from your past posts that you have always thought this was more than it really was. I think you should own up to your responsibility in all of this, after all he didn't force you to have an A with him to begin with. Pull up your big girl panties, and deal with it.

[ladybug63]

DD men have a way of so to speak "freaking out" when threats of exposing them to the w. I made that statement to mm and he said we could only be friends. I did not want to be friends so I totally ended the a.

One thing I have learned throughout my A is the w is innocent. They have no control over what their h do when they are not with them. You definitely do not want to expose him because if he wanted to come back, he won't because he trusted you and you betrayed him. Just calm down and please don't try to harm anyone. If you have to let things be for the moment and see what happens you might want to consider that. Never give anyone that kind of authority over you where you feel that you have to become beligerent. Just let it be. The best defense is no defense. You don't realize at this point you have the upper hand without doing anything to hurt anyone. Don't be so irate. I know you know that you are better than that.

[reboot]

I think you know what I was saying. In case you don't, he had the right to end it without her feeling like she was wronged. It seems that she wronged herself.

 

IOW, if he had or had not planned to leave his wife for her, I'm sure he decided that she was too unstable to be involved with on any level.

 

Anyway, if she doesn't do some soul-searching, I fear she will end up in jail somewhere down the line.

I was agreeing with you, not correcting you.

[DarlingDoll]

Thanks for the advice all and I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but just in case, I've set my plan into motion. ESPECIALLY to hold something over his head in CASE he does plan to fire me and I cannot find another equal paying job.

My mm called me tonight and apologized for his behavior after i left a message to him in an upset and tearful tone. We he returned my call, I told him i wanted closure and one last night with him. Well, he was weary and uncertain so I will push more during another conversation. I already selected the hotel I'll be making reservations at for my sex tape plans if he eventually agrees to my proposal.