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Will the MM man leave and really Divorce his wife ???


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Well i guess i will start back in april.

I used to date this guy back in 1996. He found me on my space . So he finds me again march this year .

We start talking on my space and he tells me that he is married.

Fine , we were just friends . So we continue to talk for like another month , he tells me how un happy he is . That he has been married for 10 years , him and his wife have two kids together (9 & 10) . That he sleeps on the couch . He tells me that he has tried to stick it out for the last 4 years for his kids. The MM is really close with his kids , his wife travels allot and works two jobs . She is sucessfull , but from what he explained to me , being that im 32 and he is 33, that he doesnt want to waste 10 more years and not be happy .

So , in April this year I was living in Atlanta Georgia , the MM lives in S. Florida, where i used to live .

So one weekend we are talking about meeting eachother .

I was skeptical because he was married and i didnt want any problems .

So here i am , im gona go to Florida .

Well the day before i am supposed to leave , his wife calls me .

She suspects that something is wrong , i guess the MM was happy all of a sudden and what not .

So i talk to her on the phone , reconfirm that we are just friends , she also confirms that the MM does in fact sleep on the couch and has for the past year , and she also added that for the past 4 years that he has disatached him self from her .

But she also added that she did give a *uck if we were friends, and nor did she care if he was married , she stated that he had a family and kids to take care of .

Fine .

So i go to florida , based on her reonfirmiing that they were indeed not happy .

I go to florida for the weekend , but leave a week latter , we were both telling each other that we loved eachother.

 

The wife went crazy the whole weekend calling both of our cell phones .

After my week in Florida , i go bck to atlanta , and he goes back home .

We never thought this thing through , and he of course didnt have any other place to stay .

Well two weeks latter , he comes up to atlanta , to again stay for the weekend , and he stays for a week.

We decide that we are going to live together .

The MM goes back to Florida , lives again with his wife for two weeks , then leaves with all his stufff .

So now the MM lives in Atlanta now .

Everything was cool, we had our ups and downs, because he wasnt working , and the calls from his wife , threating him that he would never see his kids and so on.

The MM women , even pulled up my credit report , found out where i lived at , called my neighbors , my job.

Everything , She even threatened the MM to come home or that she was going to get him on tax evasion .

 

So the MM ends up going back and fourth from Atlanta to South Florida for work and every time stays at his wifes house . He told me that he had no other place to stay and that he was watching the kids and she was ok with that and that was all that she wanted .

Well of course there was much drama because of all of these events , at the time moeny was a problem for both of us .

 

So now its September , i finally gave in and moved back to south florida with my kids , and me and the MM still live together .

He is still married .

When i moved here , it was different then Atlanta , for one thing i started thinking about all the things that he did to his wife , the MM has cheated on his wife at least 6 times . He told me he wanted to leave , but never found someone worth leaving for .

So i started to think about all those things , i started going through his phone , reading all the texts his wife would send .

I think i didnt trust him any more .

In Atlanta , his wife was not around the corner , now she is , so i get worried when he comes home late from work or what not .

We live together , but his mail does not come here , and he still sneaks to his old house to see his kids .

Im scared and feel i made the worst mistake of my life .

I know he loves me , and i love him too .

But things have changed from how they were at first .

When ever i brings things up , he ask why am i thinking about it, because we live together here now .

In Atlanta , we were living together , but he was leaving all the time to go back to Florida to work .

 

Over all , i have what i wanted .

But he is stil married , and has not talked about a divorce .

Nor has he even seen his children , i told him to set up a schedule and what not to make this normal .

Im scared because i dont want a year or two to pass and he is still married .

I have trust issues as well , because he has cheated on his wife so many times . This concerns me .

Please help someone

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LucreziaBorgia

Why would he divorce, if he doesn't have to? You and his wife are both allowing him to sit the fence. The only way he will divorce is if:

 

1. His wife takes the initiative, and divorces him.

 

2. You take the initiative, tell him to get out of your life and not come back until he has signed and notarized divorce papers.

 

He will keep you both for as long as he can. Why? Because you and his wife let him.

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also i might add that he has cheated on me already .

I met this girl on my space .

She is married too and was friends with my MM, will i guess they messed around .

She has been married for two years and is not happy.

So this women is telling me how much he loves me and how he talks about me all the time .

But she also added that they were together two months ago.

I asked him and he told me that her time line was messed up.

I think i should kick him out now .

Or tell him that we can be friends until he gets a divorce , if i kick him out he will go right back home to his wife .

She doesnt care , she has been going through this for 10 years .

I dont want to be like them , never

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When i met the MM man he told me he was broke and his credit wasnt that good , i still loved him just for him and never worried about any of that stuff ....

 

The MM's wife makes 6 figues and even works a second job to support her shopping habit .

The MM is self employed, and work has been slow , so when he was with his wife , he would babysit, and work and that was it , she was never home , goes out almost every weekend and travels allot with her job .

 

So that is how i met the MM man on my space , he had a secret my space that his wife didnt know about .

Also i might add that she has caught him cheating everytime , but the difference was , that he would leave the other girl and go back to his wife.

He never moved out or left , untill he met me .

So i beleived that we were special and that he really loved me .

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LucreziaBorgia

Given this latest bit, all I can say is get out while you can, or you will regret it for the rest of your life.

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Im scared that if i keep harping on the fact that im scared because he is married that i will push him away .

I mean he left his wife , told her that he loves me and that we are getting married .

So i dont know what to do .

Three weeks ago i kicked him out , because he came home late from work , i guess i over reacted , but at the time i was releaved that i wouldnt have to go through this anymore .

So one day i drove past his house to see if he went back when i kicked him out .

and his truck was there at his wifes house .

I went crazy , even knocked on the door .

He didnt come out , and we didnt talk for 2 weeks , then finally he called me one day and said he wanted to come back and that he missed me .

so i let him come back , for a week everything was fine , but then i starting thinking again like i always do .

so im scared that im gona mess it up because i am scared .

He tells me that he is also scared that he will get *ucked , he said that i wont want him anymore when he is dovorced , that they game will be over .

I dont know wht to do and im so scared to be with out him , and to be with him ....

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Get OUT of this affair NOW. You are going after a married man who is a proven liar and a cheater! You are and WILL mess your own kids up in the process. Think of them, okay. It really is unfair and selfish of you to be involved in this mans life, even if he is chasing you, run the other way.

 

Continue down this path, you will get hurt, and so will your kids.

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mean he left his wife , told her that he loves me and that we are getting married .

 

BULL!!!!!!

 

Where are the divorce papers? Custody of their kids, the house being sold, finances to be settled. Sorry, but it ain't happening! This man is a serial cheater. IF that divorce actually does happen, are you saying YOU WILL MARRY HIM? DO you trust him? Having children with his wife, saying vows infront of family and friends wasn't enough to keep him faithful. What do you bring to him that will keep his attention on you only?

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Why on earth are you trying to hold onto this guy? He's married and a cheater. He doesn't have a desire to see his kids. He has cheated on his wife 6 times (probably more) and he won't think twice about cheating on you. This guy is scum and you should put his things out and let him go back to his wife even though she deserves much better. He needs women to fulfill all his needs.

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He didnt come out , and we didnt talk for 2 weeks , then finally he called me one day and said he wanted to come back and that he missed me.

 

He will do this and when you make him angry he'll go back to his wife or whoever else he has lined up.

 

so im scared that im gona mess it up because i am scared .

Why are you afraid when he is the one who messed up.

 

He tells me that he is also scared that he will get *ucked , he said that i wont want him anymore when he is dovorced , that they game will be over .

 

Trust me he isn't afraid of anything. He is just using this line for sympathy. It is part of his game.

 

I dont know wht to do and im so scared to be with out him , and to be with him ....

 

Why on earth are you afraid to be without him? Do you work and support yourself fiancially or is he supporting you financially. If he is not paying your bills why are you afraid?

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I know that i have to leave him.

Whats sad too , is that i did let him come back .

 

But i have not tld my family , i would be embarressed .

The first thing that everyone would ask me is.

Did he get a divorce , and honestly i dont think that he would .

Unless she filled the divorce .

They dont own anything together , they rent there home , so there divorce would be easy , and its not fair to her or me for the MM being selfish .

 

Beleive me things changed when we lived together .

He comes home from work, spends 80% of his time on his laptop looking at pornos or surfing the net.

We really havent done anything together yet .

I make sure is he 100% happy by having home cooked meals done every night , doing the laundry , making sure he is happy .

its sad , because at home with his wife , he did everything , but now that he is with me , i do everything .

I feel like i have pulled the relationship 90%, i mean i even relocated states to be with him .

It was easier for him to find work in florida , and i was always upset that when he did leave atlanta , that he was with his wife .

Im so hurt and feel so stupid .

But i guess its true when people say make a list .

The pros and cons, he has caused me more problems and tears then smiles .

Its so sad

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He will do this and when you make him angry he'll go back to his wife or whoever else he has lined up.

 

 

Why are you afraid when he is the one who messed up.

 

 

 

Trust me he isn't afraid of anything. He is just using this line for sympathy. It is part of his game.

 

 

 

Why on earth are you afraid to be without him? Do you work and support yourself fiancially or is he supporting you financially. If he is not paying your bills why are you afraid?

No i take care of my self . Actually he is not helping me . He did when i first got here , because i moved here for him . But rent is coming due and he hasnt spoke about it . He has financial problems right now , he has two kids from his wife of 10 years and 1 from a prior relationship . So is currently trying to make back payments for the first child .

I think i should kick him out today and drop his stuff at his wifes house and text him and tell him its over .

really i would rather her deal with this crap .

i do beleive that she will take him back , but she will leave him too when she finds someone that is worth it .

We have talked a great deal , and she always stresses that the MM isnt *hit and that she doesnt run behind no man and that she cares about her kids and her job first .

I mean really , i think we all know when its over , no matter how you try or make excuses .

It sucks somtimes because we think that were in love , but i know he would hurt me like he hurt his wife .

I am pretty sure he has cheated more than six times . So when he talks bad about his wife to me , she has a right to act how she does , he told me that she wont have sex with him anymore .

I understand now , i wouldnt either .

It hurts .

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When i moved here , it was different then Atlanta , for one thing i started thinking about all the things that he did to his wife , the MM has cheated on his wife at least 6 times . He told me he wanted to leave , but never found someone worth leaving for .

 

Smckinsey, you can do better than this man! For a start, he is totally weak. Re the above, why did he have to have someone to leave FOR? If he was that unhappy then surely he would have left regardless of whether he met you or not. I know some people are unhappy but think 'that's life' but then meet someone else and decide they want to leave, but it sounds like this guy was actually looking for a replacement wife. And 6 times for God's sake! Sorry, but he doesn't sound like much of a catch. I know you love him but it's time that you thought of yourself and your kids. Your MM is nothing but trouble so put yourself and your family first and tell him it's over once and for all. You deserve better than to hang around waiting for him to make up his mind!

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Smckinsey, you can do better than this man! For a start, he is totally weak. Re the above, why did he have to have someone to leave FOR? If he was that unhappy then surely he would have left regardless of whether he met you or not. I know some people are unhappy but think 'that's life' but then meet someone else and decide they want to leave, but it sounds like this guy was actually looking for a replacement wife. And 6 times for God's sake! Sorry, but he doesn't sound like much of a catch. I know you love him but it's time that you thought of yourself and your kids. Your MM is nothing but trouble so put yourself and your family first and tell him it's over once and for all. You deserve better than to hang around waiting for him to make up his mind!

thank you ....

I know ....

I need to kick him out today , and finally go on with my life .

Its funny , last night i couldnt sleep , so i googled what the percentage rate was for men leaving there wifes .

so i found this web site .

We looked at it together , and he was so negative .

Saying that all these people were idiots , and have nothing else better to do.

But i am a person that thinks allot , about everything .

He knows what everyone says is true .

Sometimes its better to get advice from an outside party then someone you know .

Sometimes people are selfish or only think of them selves when giving advice.

But thank you , so much for the help.

Sunny

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Yeah ofcourse he is going to tell you this site is stupid and what others are telling you is crap. He doesn't want to lose out on having TWO women in his selfish life to fulfill all his needs! He has no real reason to divorce...He's got it made in the shade! Why give up one woman when he can have TWO! Seriously, think about that!

 

I hope you gain the strength to leave him, heal and never look back. Consider some counselling to help you get the self confidence to realize he is bad news and in very uhealthy for you - EVEN if he makes you feel good sometimes, the bad feelings he brings out in you isn't worth it.

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ICallsEmAsISeesEm

Gosh, I don't get it. The guy is a tax evader, he's a serial cheater, he's semi-unemployed and need to have you support him, sneaks down to his wife's house to stay under the guise of 'working,' and is more than likely NOT paying regular child support for the children he DESERTED when he moved to Atlanta - gosh, what's not to like?

 

This is a fair question to ask - do you honestly feel it's appropriate to bring someone of his incredibly low calibre into your children's home? A married man whose deserted his family, wouldn't know the truth if it were shoved up his a*ss with a shovel, and is constantly bringing drama and strife into all your lives? Is that the best you can do for your poor children?

 

He told me he wanted to leave , but never found someone worth leaving for.
Ugh. This guy is such a SCUMBAG. A cowardly, little weasel, tax evading, family deserting scumbag.

 

You don't think you can trust him ANYMORE? Was there ever a time you could?????

 

....i made the worst mistake of my life.
That statement is correct.

 

I know he loves me
That's where you're wrong. This crud doesn't even know the MEANING of love. That's a very dangerous assumption to make about someone of his character (or lack thereof).

 

Nor has he even seen his children
I'm not surprised. At all.

 

Please help someone.
Remove this toxic waste from your life immediately. It's simple, really. He'll go wherever a woman will support him. Encourage him to sleaze it up on the computer again, and lure in another victim to sponge off of.
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Impudent Oyster

 

 

So i go to florida , based on her reonfirmiing that they were indeed not happy

 

I'm still trying to digest the part where the MM not being happy in his marriage is a green light to start sleeping with him.

 

I must've been brought up on a different planet, because in my mind, married is married, happy or not. No one ever told me that "hey, it's okay to sleep with married people so long as they aren't happy". WTF????????

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Impudent Oyster

I make sure is he 100% happy by having home cooked meals done every night , doing the laundry , making sure he is happy .

its sad , because at home with his wife , he did everything , but now that he is with me , i do everything .

 

Its so sad

 

Gee, maybe he did everything because she was working two jobs? This guy is a first class loser, a bum.

 

Unless you want to support his lazy ass like his wife did, I suggest you boot him!

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This is a fair question to ask - do you honestly feel it's appropriate to bring someone of his incredibly low calibre into your children's home? A married man whose deserted his family, wouldn't know the truth if it were shoved up his a*ss with a shovel, and is constantly bringing drama and strife into all your lives? Is that the best you can do for your poor children?

 

I have to say I agree. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for your kids. You sound like you're smart enough, just blinded in love like many of us were or still are. This man will be no good for your children, that's for sure!

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I love this website .

I kicked him out tonight , and it feels so so so good .

its crazy , how sometimes when you think your in love , you dont see things right . You make excuse.

I kicked him out before , but like two days latter , missed him and went crazy .

This time was different , i told him to his face , that i didnt trust him .

He is still married , point blank .

He never even talked about getting a divorce anymore or anything .

He cheated on me with another women since we have been together .

I loved this man with all my heart , but i was in love with , what we were when we first met.

then all the drama started , i tryed to hang on to something , that wasnt there anymore .

When i kicked him out , it hurt like hell .

It did .

But i knew i was making the right decision , for me and my family .

I deserve so much better , and so does every women .

You only have one life to live , and there is someone for everyone .

His wife will probaly take him back , but she knows as well , how many times he has cheated , and she doesnt trust him either .

So that wont last , and if it does , then i wish them well for there children.

But this man was selfish .

My life has been hell since we met , i have cryed since april of this year , and finally at this very moment i feel free and alive .

No more drama , no more worrying about who is calling late or the late night texts , im free .

I feel sorry for him .

In the long run he lost his family and me .

I really loved him , and wanted nothing else but that in return and would of done anything .

But when you have to go through so much pain , you finally realize that your not happy .

I know how much more happier i can be either alone or with someone else .

I have to tell my self that i am beautiful , im independent , young , im in school fulltime working on my b/a, i have a great job, a nice apartment , i have my kids , and im happy .

everything else will fall in place , and i know that i will one day ,meet the man of my dreams .

and i wont be crying all the time , and he wont be married .lol

But thank you , everyone for giving me the strength to do what i needed to do anyways .

thank you with all my heart .

:)

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