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i am wrecked!!


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hi guys ..its been a while i am on LS and i thought i can cope with everything just fine but i can't....i am lost ...lost with everything..its kind of long and emotional strory but i will try to make short....my R with xmm kind of on and off ..i was pregenant by him and terminated the baby shortly after..mainly my decision but i regret it afterward,,,and its became emotional what i had been tru..he been supportive or at least i thought its genuine ..sometime i had doubt...we spoke everyday ...until the last couple of weeks that he kind of said that his phone bill is high and his wife got suspicious because the bill is in her name ..i believed that so he got another phone which is a pay as you go ..still he rang me everyday...talk as normal..one day he said he will take his son to visit his parent in his country ...and don't know how long ...and i asked what about his wife he said she not going...we set a date ..met up a few time before he goes and i was fine by that....told me what he will be doing ,staying,lots of stuff told me he flyon that sunday morning..promise me he will ring me keep contact with me.. and i trust him i believed him....he said he will called before ne boarded the plane so i waited he did not called ...2 days pass i accidently checked the flight and its shocked me that it has no flight ..he is actully in town working..soi went round confront him..and all he said was he don't know what else to do and it is the easiest way out and he try to protect his family...what on earth he thinking of played me for a fool..and i am angry and furious ..i told his wife everything...but he got there before me she don't believe me..she said hetold her that i wanted to break them up...and i am troubled...!!! after all we been tru...i am hurted ....so much .he cut off the phone ,home cell phone email,,and everthing..i sat here ....trying to move on with my life..which i know i can ...i will ...in times ....i have the people who i cared and cared for me around ...only 1 things that how can a person who you trusted can do such this things to you...how ???

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whichwayisup

You need to seek some counselling to heal yourself. Don't ever contact him again, and if he ever tries to contact you, IGNORE him completely.

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I am so sorry you are going through this pain. Please take care of yourself and put yourself first.

 

He thought about himself now its your turn to do the same and take care of you.

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Upto Here

 

That's sucks. So sorry for your pain.

 

If you are interested or even have the strength to speak with his W again, you can prove to her that he is lying. Give her a copy of your phone bills. If she sees his number on your phone bill and even the pay as you go number, she will have enough to start asking him the hard questions.

 

This guy is such a coward. Evil twisted gaslighter. One day you will be happy to be away from him. Really.

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Je Ne Regrette Rien

Uptohere, I am so sorry for your loss - for both your pregnancy and your broken dreams.

 

I know how difficult it is to be pregnant to your MM. I was too and I went through an Abortion. I just didnt really know what else to do, for the first time in my life I genuinely didnt know what was right and what was wrong.

 

Now that MM has shown his true colours think of it as a blessing to your life. His W may not believe you YET, but the doubts that you will have put in her mind will resurface eventually. At the moment she is probably desperately trying to keep her M together. But those doubts have a way of coming to the surface and I hope she puts MM through the interrogation that he should surely face.

 

As for you, you need to look after YOU. Its important that you grieve. Both your lost future that you believed you had with your MM, the person that you thought MM was and the pregnancy. Let yourself cry, wallow, scream into your pillow and take comfort from your friends and family who are supporting you. But give yourself a deadline. Your MM is stuck in his emotional mess forever. Whereas YOU have a future, a different future albeit to the one you dreamed about, but maybe not any worse - maybe better.

 

How can a person who you trusted do this to you? There's a million reasons. The fear of being caught by his wife, the loss of honour from a failed marriage, the fear of change - but it basically comes down to one reason - selfishness. He saw his needs as a priortiy above yours and his wifes. He is number one and nothing will change that. But dont think it will be a bed of roses for him from now on. The seed of doubt has been planted in his W's mind and I hope he feels the consequences from this alone.

 

Good luck :bunny:

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BurriedAlive

I feel your pain..... So maybe us OWs and BSs can't all be thrown in the same bucket but I think we are all in agreement that MMs can! What a jerk. It seems like it's the SAME story over and over and over again. I guess you are right now where I was 4 months ago. I may not have had an abortion but I did loose my job and I have to move because of xMM. It was horrible pain unlike anything I have ever felt before. The feeling of being thrown away is the worst and not understanding why. So anyway, UTH, stay strong by surrounding yourself with people who care about you. Don't be afraid to tell your story - you will find that the people who love you are alot more understanding than we give them credit for. I also found that writing uncensored letters to xMM and then ripping them up was really helpful to me. Oh and one last thing, try to keep yourself busy. Give yourself an appropriate greiving period and then pick yourself up and go on.

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Love4Eternity

I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you got so hurt, it sounds to me like this guy played both you and his wife and he has no care in the world. your better off without him i hope you can heal and move on .. find someone that can be good to you.

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i don't know what to said guys....i am so thank you of what i got right now...even you guys i don't even know you but you can feel the pain what i been tru ... i am so thank you for your support..bless all of you..i am trying not to think about it anymore ..i would lie if i said i did not think at all... but i am occationly.. i am keeping myself busy most of the times ...its kind of wierd that i am ok...not 100% but i am ok i be able to smile like i never did before.....how wierd is that!!!..even though i knew where he work and where he lived, it would be really easy to contact him....but surprisinly i can do it at least a few days now... i know its early yet but i am so pround of myself.. and i hope he can lived with himself either.....i went home and i felt great.....i used to think of all the revenge...every kind but at the end what for? i will end up being a stalker or something...!!! but i amnot going that far now .... i will moving out of this town... for a fresh start.......a new life....and i will do that even though how mush i hurted by all this....guys.....WHOEVER IN THIS RE... GET OUT ...I NEVER KNEW WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG EITHER... but until now,,,,, i am.......and i will move on....stuffed this guys.....and support me.....thanks again....the best things is support from the person who really knew your pain and feel it!!!!!:bunny:

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I'm sorry for your loss. Please dont feel that his actions show you are not someone beautiful and special, because you are!

if you can remember me cobra...i did offense your opinion early about my tread before...i am woke up now not fully still had dount but i am moving on ...i don't regret what i done ...by told his W ....and most of all thank you for your support...which i am so greatful and i be able to moving on...i am not doing bad ..still think of him and how such a kind human being did this to you and turned me by saying i am troubled to his w....but well at the end of the day i should not be worry about him isn't it...whatever he will be....im not care anymore,,,,,....sadly isn't it it should end in a nicer way!!!!:o

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Uptohere, I am so sorry for your loss - for both your pregnancy and your broken dreams.

 

I know how difficult it is to be pregnant to your MM. I was too and I went through an Abortion. I just didnt really know what else to do, for the first time in my life I genuinely didnt know what was right and what was wrong.

 

Now that MM has shown his true colours think of it as a blessing to your life. His W may not believe you YET, but the doubts that you will have put in her mind will resurface eventually. At the moment she is probably desperately trying to keep her M together. But those doubts have a way of coming to the surface and I hope she puts MM through the interrogation that he should surely face.

 

As for you, you need to look after YOU. Its important that you grieve. Both your lost future that you believed you had with your MM, the person that you thought MM was and the pregnancy. Let yourself cry, wallow, scream into your pillow and take comfort from your friends and family who are supporting you. But give yourself a deadline. Your MM is stuck in his emotional mess forever. Whereas YOU have a future, a different future albeit to the one you dreamed about, but maybe not any worse - maybe better.

 

How can a person who you trusted do this to you? There's a million reasons. The fear of being caught by his wife, the loss of honour from a failed marriage, the fear of change - but it basically comes down to one reason - selfishness. He saw his needs as a priortiy above yours and his wifes. He is number one and nothing will change that. But dont think it will be a bed of roses for him from now on. The seed of doubt has been planted in his W's mind and I hope he feels the consequences from this alone.

 

Good luck :bunny:

 

thnk you jnrr...you always cheered me up in one way... its a great support from you..that i am sorry that we have to go tru the same terminated...i try to forget what happened especially..the pregnancy....sometime i wonder what his life might be right now...but at the end of the thought i just got up and said to myself why sholud i cared he didn't even care about me....after what he done its such an evil way....and the way his w said to me in so much confidense that she trusted him....its kind of hurt ,,,but i did understand why she said that aswell...so its not worth thinking about it...isn;t it....i am keeping busy...all the time...to keep my sane together.....and im not doing too bad..its kind of relieved in one way..sad to loose him on the other...but still i am so lucky that i don't have to be in that R anymore..once again thank you

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Upto Here

 

That's sucks. So sorry for your pain.

 

If you are interested or even have the strength to speak with his W again, you can prove to her that he is lying. Give her a copy of your phone bills. If she sees his number on your phone bill and even the pay as you go number, she will have enough to start asking him the hard questions.

 

This guy is such a coward. Evil twisted gaslighter. One day you will be happy to be away from him. Really.

 

yes i knew and see what he is..now and wonder will he regret what he done to me or greatful that he can get rid of me...i don't know!!! i don't think i wanted to see or speak to his w again ..i have thought about this though..even though i got proved ..so many...especially his birthmark...i am so tempted but...at the end of the day i thought what is the point and its his w his M .he will do everything to protect his family..i would so...i don't want to be home wrecker at all and that is not my intention in the first place...yes i am angry ,furious ,the words can not described...but by loosing him i gain my confidense back...i can be truthful to myself...and most of all i can smile...like i never did for a long time...:)

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if you can remember me cobra...i did offense your opinion early about my tread before...i am woke up now not fully still had dount but i am moving on ...i don't regret what i done ...by told his W ....and most of all thank you for your support...which i am so greatful and i be able to moving on...i am not doing bad ..still think of him and how such a kind human being did this to you and turned me by saying i am troubled to his w....but well at the end of the day i should not be worry about him isn't it...whatever he will be....im not care anymore,,,,,....sadly isn't it it should end in a nicer way!!!!:o

 

I did remember. I apologize that I took the hard approach. The phrasing you used in your original post made me believe you were in the fog. Sometimes a harsh perspective can help... I see in retrospect that it did not help. I cant take the pain away... Only offer words of comfort.

 

Bad things never end well... plus you realize this guy is just a jerk. I know you will move on and eventually be fine!

 

Until then... Take Care!

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