Visu Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 but i'm having doubts. is it even necessary? could i just stop replying or stop answering his calls? or is it possible for me to continue this A and be happy? i have been reading posts and it seems so many OW are content and have high self-esteem. i'm just wondering how to get there, or if i will just continue in this perpetual state of internal turmoil until it is finally over. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 Just send the damn thing and stick to it. Find someone who is I don't know....single. You've done more damage then you know. Don't continue adding to it. You cannot continue the affair and have a fairy tail. Doesn't work like that. The person will NEVER be just yours unless the person divorces NOW and chooses to stay with you. Unlikely but not impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
woe_is_me Posted May 7, 2007 Share Posted May 7, 2007 but i'm having doubts. is it even necessary? could i just stop replying or stop answering his calls? or is it possible for me to continue this A and be happy? i have been reading posts and it seems so many OW are content and have high self-esteem. i'm just wondering how to get there, or if i will just continue in this perpetual state of internal turmoil until it is finally over. During MMs A with me i never came to sites such as this one. I know i looked at a OW site once during the A but never or joined and obviously didn't read a great deal. There are OW here who come here to 'gloat' that everything is 'just peachy' but i only came here for answers and clarity when i felt upset and confused. I'm not really sure how happy these OW really are. Only they know. I can only tell you that the inner turmoil needs to be turned into something else. It's too late, you already know the guy and only time and no contact will turn him into a fond and distant memory. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Lightglowabove Posted May 8, 2007 Share Posted May 8, 2007 but i'm having doubts. is it even necessary? could i just stop replying or stop answering his calls? or is it possible for me to continue this A and be happy? i have been reading posts and it seems so many OW are content and have high self-esteem. i'm just wondering how to get there, or if i will just continue in this perpetual state of internal turmoil until it is finally over. Yes, it is necessary and here's why: I was in the exact same situation as you and I had to end things MY way. I told him he should go his way, and I should go mine and ended it with a "nice" phone call. Since then (about 4 weeks), he has written to me numerous times, but I have not replied. I meant what I said and I'm sticking to it. Because I ended things on my terms, I don't feel bad not replying...I actually feel relieved and free. Visu, do yourself a favor and end it by taking the high road...then stay on that path...you'll feel better about yourself and you will be the one with high self-esteem. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
scaredinlove Posted May 9, 2007 Share Posted May 9, 2007 but i'm having doubts. is it even necessary? could i just stop replying or stop answering his calls? or is it possible for me to continue this A and be happy? i have been reading posts and it seems so many OW are content and have high self-esteem. i'm just wondering how to get there, or if i will just continue in this perpetual state of internal turmoil until it is finally over. It is a long long ,bump bump road.you have learn how to switch him off when he is not there. You go meet him have a good time and than go about your own business. The best is to have set days and times when you want to see him or talk. Never dream of him leaving his W, because that NOT going to happen. take one day at time. Don't wait, live your own live. The problem is the we OW make the affair the center of our lives. The affair to be continue has to be just part of it. Avoid public places, never call him on his cell.You have to have a e-mail adress you only use for him and vice versa. Try to keep it discreet as possible and be ready for one day he may just call and say."It is over!" no explanation nescessary. if you can do all that than you can continue the affair if not not just ignore his calls or e-mails no need to explain.Believe me he won't explain when he thinks you are too much to him to handle. i may sound little harsh, but that how it works. Too bad I just realise it now 5 yrs later.Good luck and remember to keep yoouur head up, and you heart in peace. Link to post Share on other sites
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