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The Bitter OW/OM


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Time and time again, the OW/OM and MM/MW that post here accuse the betrayed of being bitter. But anyone reading these kinds of forums can see just how bitter the OPs are when the truth comes out. Even the ones that didn't know he was M'd in the beginning have their bitter he lied to me, he betrayed me, he destroyed my trust in people/men moments.

 

 

 

Is it okay to just admit that the bitterness is spread around to ALL parties involved?

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outofdarkness
Time and time again, the OW/OM and MM/MW that post here accuse the betrayed of being bitter. But anyone reading these kinds of forums can see just how bitter the OPs are when the truth comes out. Even the ones that didn't know he was M'd in the beginning have their bitter he lied to me, he betrayed me, he destroyed my trust in people/men moments.

 

 

 

Is it okay to just admit that the bitterness is spread around to ALL parties involved?

yea, it's ok w/ me, but it's hard to justify the unjustifiable...

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torranceshipman

Not everyone is bitter...I see my xMM every day, and of course I was very angry at the way he has lied to me, and continues to lie to his long term G - he's a bad person, and acted horribly - nobody should treat others like that, and it makes me mad to see it happen. But being angry and venting about it is a long way from bitterness. I see him every day at work and I act with grace, am very civil, to the point, in fact, where he thinks we're probably friends again (I would never have a friend like him- all my friends are honest, great people!). Being honest, I look down on him a little, for being so cowardly/the type who lies and cheats, but I hide that well-it's not constructive to show it when you have to work together!

 

I think it's wrong for anyone to be bitter (easier said than done though, I know), as although he acted very, very badly, my view he is one individual only, and not representative of all men, so apart from a little extra dating-related wisdom I've picked up (a positive thing in my view-e.g. take more notice of the red flags!), it certainly hasn't negatively affected my view of relationships, or men in general, at all. That's why I'm dating such a hottie now (-:

 

Interesting question though, as I think the xMM is actually quite bitter - he really pulled rank at work when I ended it, as his pride was hurt, and made me feel I might lose my job, which was appalling behaviour. He apologised later but....what a prat.

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