Guest Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 maybe any guys here can answer this or the woman too. I am seeing a MM we love each other. Today he told me he was confused and need space to see which way he should go. he said he wants to see if we can live separetad to make his final decision. Is he trying to get rid of me or he is being honest? we have been seeing each other for 5 yrs and we feel now it is time to take a decision, any decision...He says his vision is clouded and he needs to step back to understand. Should I believe him? Link to post Share on other sites
Meredith63 Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 to believe that he truly needs "space" to figure things out is if he leaves both you and the W for a certain period of time and lives on his own, without seeing either one of you. If he just stops seeing you, but continues living with his W how does he have "space". JMHO.. good luck with whatever you decide. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 You're seeing a married man. You have every reason to doubt him. If he really loved you, he would know that you are the one he wants to be with. He obviously doesn't know what he wants. I guess that's what he is trying to tell you. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderWater Posted January 4, 2007 Share Posted January 4, 2007 My MM is going through the same thing. He is trying to make a decision, but if you ask me, by remaining with his W, he has already made the decision. He it too scared of hurting other people involved. He says that no matter what he decides, someone he cares about is going to get hurt. Given the length of your A though, I would've pushed him a long time ago to make a decision. I also agree with another poster that it is not space if he remains with W. Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 Meredith is right. And btw, if he doesn't know after 5 yrs, he's trying to back out now so he doesn't have to make a comitment. JMHO. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 While I agree that he needs to be separated to make a clear choice, it really is unfair to his W to spring a separation on her if your A and her M are not related. I don't think the OW has the right to make such demands on a man that she already knows to be M. He may not ask for a separation from his W because he needs to see if he indeed wants to be with her by being WITH her. KWIM? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 While I agree that he needs to be separated to make a clear choice' date=' it really is unfair to his W to spring a separation on her if your A and her M are not related. I don't think the OW has the right to make such demands on a man that she already knows to be M. He may not ask for a separation from his W because he needs to see if he indeed wants to be with her by being WITH her. KWIM?[/quote'] He is not separating from her, he just want to not seem for a while and see I guess if he can live without me.That is what he said.I am afraid he is just letting me go "nicely". Link to post Share on other sites
oyster Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I also agree with another poster that it is not space if he remains with W. if it is not space then what is it called and what is the purpose? I am an OM involved with a MW, she asked for 1 month of space while thinking. Well she still lives under same roof as her husband. oh yeah Affair is out in the open. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 if it is not space then what is it called and what is the purpose? I am an OM involved with a MW, she asked for 1 month of space while thinking. Well she still lives under same roof as her husband. oh yeah Affair is out in the open. so bottom line he is trying to get rid of me? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 I think that he is trying to end the R without causing friction...Sorry, that's what it sounds like... Link to post Share on other sites
puddleofmud Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 After five years he should respect YOU and your relationship and tell you the EXACT truth without verbal spinning that leaves you guessing about what he may or not mean. What matters most may be HOW DO YOU feel about this and is this acceptable for your vital emotional health? It is completely up to YOU if you wish to let your engine idle and wait or take this as face value (but that is difficult since he did not define this as to time or anything else--it's now all based on HIS time and feelings/ future experience). How long are you willing to wait to see if he "misses you" considering that he didn't say how long it would take for him to "miss you". Or that he would or could.... You have been placed in a most unfair position especially due a long term relationship (affair or non) due to the fact that this is all about how HE feels...he took the ball and ran away. This is not fair play. Best wishes to you and be kind to yourself! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 5, 2007 Share Posted January 5, 2007 After five years he should respect YOU and your relationship and tell you the EXACT truth without verbal spinning that leaves you guessing about what he may or not mean. What matters most may be HOW DO YOU feel about this and is this acceptable for your vital emotional health? It is completely up to YOU if you wish to let your engine idle and wait or take this as face value (but that is difficult since he did not define this as to time or anything else--it's now all based on HIS time and feelings/ future experience). How long are you willing to wait to see if he "misses you" considering that he didn't say how long it would take for him to "miss you". Or that he would or could.... You have been placed in a most unfair position especially due a long term relationship (affair or non) due to the fact that this is all about how HE feels...he took the ball and ran away. This is not fair play. Best wishes to you and be kind to yourself! Maybe I should ask him how much time he needs?or to clear his goals. Link to post Share on other sites
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