MY NC Sisters (and brothers?)

[BenThereDunThat]

Need your help.

 

With the year I've had, I have not at all had the holiday spirit. I didn't do cards. I didn't put up lights. No decorations. I've got a whole basement full of all of the above. Just couldn't bring myself to get into it. And it's not because of the MM. Lots of stuff happened in 2006. (although none as bad as others, I DO still count myself as fortunate)

 

Tomorrow is my last day at work for the week. So tonight, because I had put it off until now, I had to put all my gifts together. FINALLY got into the spirit a little bit (I love giving gifts)....so, of course, I start feeling "charitable" to the MM. Almost to the point of sending him an email - happy holidays, sorry it worked out the way it did, etc.

 

I actually managed to get on an elevator late today where he was the only one on it...HUGE step - I've actually turned around and walked away rather than get on in the past. He said 'hi'..I just said 'hello' without even looking at him, and managed to stare straight ahead all the way up to our floor.

 

Anyway, I'm feeling soft and holiday-ish at the moment. But I'm smart enough to know that I can come here first and you guys will STOP me before I do something stupid!!

 

Seriously. Stop me.

[Freedom Now]

Funny. I almost sent my MM a holiday email. Chapter2 threatened to break my fingers, so I didn't.

 

It must be the holiday good will and all that...but don't let it get you down. We all feel a little mushy this time of year. And I was feeling kinda charitable towards him too. What's THAT all about anyway?!

 

For me, I erased the email and the feeling has passed.

 

I can't wait for the holidays to be over and for 2007 to start. It is time for starting over. Out with the old and in with the new....

 

Hang in there.

[BenThereDunThat]

Man, I can't TELL you how glad I will be to see the ass-end of 2006!!!

 

But I try not to be too fatalistic - it could always be worse. I can think of a million ways - so I'm just grateful that life has handed me what it has and nothing worse.

 

Ya know?

[Freedom Now]

I keep thinking that when 2006 ends, the drama and pain and turmoil will too. Almost like a new me will emerge. And I am hoping that New Year's Day will be that catalyst. I do know I want the holidays to be over. Humbug.

 

You know....we get a chance to start over again with the new year. And that makes me hopeful and excited.

 

I can't wait to bury 2006 myself. It wasn't my finest year, that's for sure....

[BenThereDunThat]

I keep thinking that when 2006 ends, the drama and pain and turmoil will too.

 

You know....we get a chance to start over again with the new year.

 

I can't wait to bury 2006 myself. It wasn't my finest year, that's for sure....

 

Not my finest year, not my finest hour...I hear ya.

 

What're you gonna do though? I guess we could look at it this way though - I've never been my strongest as I have been lately. That's something, right?

 

Ever see The World According To Garp? My parents went to see it when it first came to the movies (dad was/is a big John Irving fan - me too), and the scene where he's going off on the coach, whose last name is Home to the girl sitting on the bleachers with her nose in a book (who later became his wife)? She comes back at him with a smart-ass remark--"I'm Helen Home-we're the HOME TEAM." Well, my parents came home giggling - they were like BTDT - as soon as we saw that we both agreed - that's YOU!!

 

My parents were going through something at the time, even MC, we went to dinner later and they paid me the best compliment - their MC told them all about listening and how important it is to be an active listener and they both told me that they agreed that I'm a very good listener.

 

Hmmm....sorry, got off topic there....

[kymberann]

I am right with ya girls. let's get 2006 outta the way.

 

It is so weird to comprehend though. So much HAS happened, a lot of it revolving around MM and R. And I mean A LOT! That was actually my goal for 2006 to do a lot and it just so happened he ended up being a part of a lot of it! Now I know it is over, so I am still struggling with letting go and moving forward. I still want to do a lot of the things I did with MM and the struggle lies in that he won't be there this year. Oh Well, he made his choice.

 

 

As for X mas I am not a holiday person. If it weren't for the kids I could care less. Really. I am just glad my kids are happy (relatively) and healthy!

 

OK Freedom and Ben there, if you choose to go the route you are talking about, contacting MM in some way, just remember this, you will bring the turmoil and stress of 2006 into 2007. Do you really want to add to the drama??

Don't do it!

Here's to a new year!

Best

[Freedom Now]

Good point. I have never felt stronger. That's true. But I paid a hefty price for that strength as did you.

 

Good things are gonna happen for us. I must believe that. We did the best thing for ourselves and that was the absolute right thing to do.

 

And that has to count for something.

 

Fortunately, I have kept my optimism as have you. That will get us through these silly, difficult moments that we endure.

 

But above all, we have overcome the temptations that have presented themselves.

 

We are formidable women.

[kymberann]

I guess we could look at it this way though - I've never been my strongest as I have been lately. That's something, right?

We can only get stronger by reminding ourselves what the events of this past year brought to us! We shouldn't ever forget but we need to reach some sort of resolve!

Here's to being stronger than the year before!

[Freedom Now]

Cheers to that. And cheers to overcoming the temptation to break NC.

 

With each day we are getting stronger.

 

[BenThereDunThat]

Yes, we are formidable women.....

 

But, you know what? Secretly, inside myself, sometimes I just want to be WEAK....it's only fantasy though, I wouldn't last a MINUTE as a submissive person.

 

But, you know, sometimes, I just feel TIRED...I'm TIRED of being strong; I'm TIRED of being tough; I'm TIRED of having to look out for myself.

 

Sometimes the inner "baby" in me wants to come out and go "wah", let someone ELSE take care of it!

 

But, in the end, I could never live that way. My dad tries to give me money to help me out, and I refuse to take it. I refuse help at every turn. It just doesn't mean the same UNLESS I DO IT ON MY OWN!!!

[Ripples]

BTDT, you rock. I'm so full of admiration for you. Don't you dare let your giving, kind, generous side write anything to that piece of scum.

 

And that inner baby, you bring her over here, I know plenty of guys that'll help you take care of her

[BenThereDunThat]

Thanks, Ripples.

 

I'm in shock as I'm writing this...Honestly, I'm here out of habit because I am a zombie right now.

 

My boss, whom I dearly loved working for, died suddenly last night.

 

Just yesterday my bosses gave me my Christmas present - a diamond circle pendant. He was the only one I even told that I wanted one, and it was as a joke. I was joking that I was going to create a web site and take donations...just a silly joke, we always joked around.

 

He got my 4 other bosses together, and they went in on it. I can't stop touching it today.

 

I am at a loss.

[PoshPrincess]

OK Freedom and Ben there, if you choose to go the route you are talking about, contacting MM in some way, just remember this, you will bring the turmoil and stress of 2006 into 2007. Do you really want to add to the drama??

Don't do it!

Here's to a new year!

 

I couldn't agree more. My ex-MMs W found out about us this time last year and I SO wish I had ended things then rather than put myself through all the heartache that 2006 has brought me. Of course,I didn't, because I seriously believed he would leave. I am hoping for a much happier 2007.

 

BTDT, so sorry to hear your sad news. Please don't let this tempt you even more into contacting MM. I know how easy this is to do when you are feeling especially low. I have spoken to my ex-MM a couple of times over the past month. He contacted me last week to wish me happy Xmas. I have been so tempted to speak to him again as I know he is unhappy but I have to think of myself and my own sanity now. I have moved on and I don't intend to go back. I will ALWAYS have very strong feelings for him and lots of good memories of the happy times we shared but I am determined to leave him where he belongs - in 2006! Maybe one day he will be single, so will I and then, who knows? But I can't think like that. I have a new man now who is making me very happy. This is what we ALL deserve!

 

Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year to you all x x x

[Ripples]

Thanks, Ripples.

 

I'm in shock as I'm writing this...Honestly, I'm here out of habit because I am a zombie right now.

 

My boss, whom I dearly loved working for, died suddenly last night.

 

Ah bloody hell. That's just damn sad. I'm so sorry to hear that.

 

Just yesterday my bosses gave me my Christmas present - a diamond circle pendant. He was the only one I even told that I wanted one, and it was as a joke. I was joking that I was going to create a web site and take donations...just a silly joke, we always joked around.

 

He got my 4 other bosses together, and they went in on it. I can't stop touching it today.

 

I am at a loss.

 

What a lovely thing to do. That says so much about the kind of person you are, as much as your bosses.

 

Take care of yourself, you need and deserve good people around you. Remember that.