Do you think she lied?

[FormerOM]

I was an OM don't see too many on these boards, I've talked to my buddies about this question but thought maybe some of u could help. I was dating a MW for about eight months. Not sure why I need to jusify why I did this but I do. I was single- not getting much attention from other single women, I work two jobs so I don't have much time to meet new people or go out on dates right now. I was feeling lonely and not getting any action and this MW basically threw herself at me. I would see her in between jobs when I"d stop at the local gas station to get some coffee.

 

I didn't find her particularly attractive and wasn't interested in her until she started flirting with me. I didn't know she was married at first (didn't wear a ring) but we became friends and then she wanted no strings attached sex (I knew she was married) but thought what the h!ll. She has a son and I told her I never wanted to meet him. We had no strings sex for a few months and then she had feelings for me and I didn't want to lose her. I don't think I loved her but I did care for her adn didn't want her to get hurt. I did ask her to leave her husband because I wanted more of a relationship- we didn't go out or spend nights together or holidays.

 

She said her husband was abusive and mean to her. I was her 3rd or 4th affair. She still wouldn't leave him though. Eventually I started to lose interest and met someone else that I wanted to pursue. My MW got very upset and needy and clingy and didn't want to let go. She kind of went crazy, calling me, almost stalking me. I recently watched Fatal Attraction and it was eery how close that movie resembled my MW's actions. Well right after I broke things off with her and started dating someone else MW came to me and told me she was pregnant. she said she didn't know whose it was but had a "strong feeling" that it was mine. Yes she was still sleeping with her husband. I was shocked because she used the shot as her birth control and there were only a handful of times we didn't' use a condom also.

 

I was told that it is extremely hard to get pregnant even after ending use of the shot (my sister told me it can take up to two years after ending use of it) and my MW was still on the shot. I doubted her story but she stuck to it. I told her I would financially support the child (if it was mine) but I didnt want her in my life anymore (except as teh child's mother) Well a week after I told her this she called me and told me she had a miscarriage and she didnt' want me to tell anyone she'd been pregnant because she hadn't told her husband. I asked for proof of her pregnancy but she hadn't been to the dr. or anything. I honestly do feel bad for her if she really was pregnant but I seem to be thinking she made the whole thing up in an attempt to "win" me back. She also left her husband briefly before this (after I left her) and told me she wanted to marry me. She also showed up where I work crying and begging me not to leave her (she had to be escorted off the property by police).

I am struggling with this even though a few months has gone by and I've had no contact with MW. (my decision).

 

I'm trying to find answers as to do you think she really was pregnant or is this something a desperate MW would make up to keep her boyfriend in her life?

[Jane Doe]

Well, no one knows for sure except her, but I have a hunch her "pregnancy" was a way to win you back. The miscarriage was awfully convenient when you let her know you still didn't want a relationship with her.

 

In the future you need to remember to use condoms 100% of the time. Don't assume a woman is using birth control, even if she says she is.

[Craig]

I believe she lied.

 

She has a history of lying to important people in her life, impulse control problems, manipulation and etc. It's the old thing of if they do it with you, they'll do it to you.

 

If she had produced the tiniest bit of evidence other than her less than credible word to support her claim of pregnancy I'd have a different opinion.

[whichwayisup]

Listen to your gut. I think you know deep down inside what the truth is. And, I'm sure it hurts abit, but honestly, the best thing you can do for yourself is cut her OUT of your life - Move on.

 

Bottomline, she's married and her actions are showing you she isn't going to leave her husband. Fact too, she's been lying to her husband, so don't you think it would be quite naive to think she hasn't lied to you???

 

This woman also seems to thrive off of drama! DO you want that kind of high drama and intensity in your life forever?

 

Seeing as you didn't see her when she was 'pregnant', I doubt she ever was...

[a4a]

I am always amazed at how many women end up pregnant right at the time of a break up..... I guess the emotional state of a break up causes the Ovaries to go nutso and release multiple eggs thus causing higher fertility rates. Perhaps couples really trying to concieve should use this method.

[Joelle]

In the future you need to remember to use condoms 100% of the time. Don't assume a woman is using birth control, even if she says she is.

 

I agree with this.

[FormerOM]

Yeah I've learned my lesson. I guess I just wanted some other opinions because I feel guilty if she really was pregnant and the stress of me leaving her caused her to lose the baby. But I just had this feeling she was lying to me in order to get me back. I was hoping that was the case.