confused72 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 I'm married and I love my wife. We have a wonderful relationship and I've never cheated on her (or any other woman for that matter). Off and on I've been in contact through e-mail with a woman I recently took a real estate course with. I always thought she was hot, and as it turns out, she really wants me bad. She's been pursuing me and offering me a no-strings attached BJ and the temptation is killing me...... I can't help but flirt with her through e-mail, but actually meeting with her is taking it to another level. How many men have been in this position before? Did you follow through with the deed? How did you feel afterward? I know it's wrong, but I keep trying to justify it by thinking that she's the one pursuing me and it's only a BJ. I have no emotional connection to this woman at all, in fact I don't particularly like her other than her physical traits. Please share your stories.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Don't do it. This is the fantasy part of you taking over, letting yourself cross that line. This woman and her promise to you that it's only a BJ and no strings attached is pure crap. You may not feel anything for her, but she DOES feel something for you. Take a read in the OW/OM section and read some stories in there. Right now it doesn't matter who is pursuing who...A blowjob isn't just a blowjob when you're married to someone else. How do you think your wife would feel if she found out? What if the woman has cold sores that you can't see and you catch something from her? How would YOU feel if some guy told your wife she was hot, and tried to get her into the sack so he could go down on her? I think that would KILL you, wouldn't it? So, I am suggesting that you focus that energy into your wife - Take her out, go away for a weekend, and spend some time alone together. Are you going through a midlife crisis? Just curious. How long have you been married? Link to post Share on other sites
Craig Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Buddy, she is crazy, she is destructive and she'll show her true colors with time. Yeah, I've been in your position before and never accepted any offers but seen the same women go on to other men and try to wreck their lives. Some people (a woman in your case) have brains that aren't wired right and this woman is one of them. Your best bet is to cut all contact with her. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Don't do it. WWIU is right, turn it around and think how you would feel if it was wife writing that post. I can resist anything but temptation. You must find your way back from this to your wife. You must. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 If you are happily married why would you be flirting with her knowing you are married and emailing her back and forth!!! Evidentally you are getting something from her that is lacking from your wife or you wouldn't want to continue to email her back knowing her trying to pursuing you!! I think you want to and are scared!! If you don't want to ruin your so called perfect marriage and relationship ..i suggest you quit emailing her and tell her you are flattered but you are married unless you want to you!!! Is she all worth losing your family for a BJ? You have others feeling to think about not your own !! Think before you act and make your life hell!! Just MO Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Is she all worth losing your family for a BJ? Excellent point! Is she worth that? No no no no NO!!! Find out what is misssing from your marriage. Maybe you're bored, going through a mini midlife crisis...I don't know, but obviously this woman has turned your head enough for you to be considering allowing her to give you a BJ. And who knows if it will stop at just that? Don't fool yourself into thinking that you'll just get a BJ and that's that. You're playing with fire and you're gonna get burned BIG TIME. Ever see Fatal Attraction???? How the heck do you know that she is sane? What if you go through with it and she shows up at your house to talk to your wife? Or films it then sends it to your wife... I hope you're thinking now... Link to post Share on other sites
travellingman Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 I am one of the most liberal regulars here when it comes to OWs, but you are f*cking crazy if you do this. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 It ain't worth it. Leaving aside the moral issues: eventually, your wife will probably find out. Either because somebody rats you out, or that woman rats you out, or because you feel guilty and confess. Then your wife divorces you, takes half your assets or more, tells everybody you're a cheat, and you see your kids (if you have any) a lot less than you do now. Plus you'll be out $10,000+ in legal fees. And when it's all over, you'll spend a lot of lonely nights thinking to yourself "why, oh why, did I stick my dick in that woman's mouth?!?!?" So if you think a blowjob from this woman is REALLY worth $50 per second, then go for it. Otherwise, forget her and concentrate on your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 I know it's wrong, but I keep trying to justify it by thinking that she's the one pursuing me and it's only a BJ. I have no emotional connection to this woman at all, in fact I don't particularly like her other than her physical traits. The divorce courts are awash in cases where someone told himself/herself that it was possible to have sex with someone 'no strings attached' (and YES, a BJ is sex - it involves contact with genitals). It's a myth. Don't be that dumb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Okay confused...What are your thoughts now? I really hope you've taken our advice to heart and changed your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Don't do it, man. I would stop all contact in the first place. Why torture yourself with temptation? There is no such thing as a NSA BJ if you are married. Probably not if you are single, either. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Confused i hope you make the right decison because women like this can make your life a living hell !! You might want a BJ but how do you know she isn't wanting more!! Fix whatever is lacking in your marriage and get a BJ from your wife instead of a stranger!! Good luck hope you make the right choice.. Go to a marriage counselor and see why you are longing for this women .. Your marriage can't be that great if you are considering cheating with another!!! Just MO!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Maybe you should think how you would feel if the roles were reversed? Would it bother you if your wife gave a BJ to a guy friend since he is so hot? Afterall, its only a BJ. Right? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Maybe you should think how you would feel if the roles were reversed? Would it bother you if your wife gave a BJ to a guy friend since he is so hot? Afterall, its only a BJ. Right? Totally agree with you Bryan !! Put the shoe on the other foot!! Then tell me what you would do then!! Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Totally agree with you Bryan !! Put the shoe on the other foot!! Then tell me what you would do then!! Lilmona, you confused me here. I thought she offered him a BJ, not to swap his footwear! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 Lilmona, you confused me here. I thought she offered him a BJ, not to swap his footwear! LOL !! TOO FUNNY!! why you gotta be such a smart a$$? Link to post Share on other sites
Freyja Posted December 26, 2005 Share Posted December 26, 2005 This is so wrong and you know it, so follow your instincts and cut all contact with this woman. Maybe you can talk to your wife about this girl, tell her that your tempted that maybe ur lacking somwthing in your own sex life thats why this looks so appealing to you. Or just do something to spice up your sex life and think of all the times you've spent with your wife, think about the life you have now... it surely can't be worth losing over one blowjob? I think you should have a proper talk with this other woman, tell her your married and you don't want this trouble. If shes that pretty surely she can get any other man. I hate such women who pursue married men, it's so low. Anyway if you do go ahead with it, then you should know that your relationship with your wife will never be the same again. Maybe you'll hide it for a while, but it always comes out someday and trust me you will regret so much. So, its your choice. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
goingforgold Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 If your r/s with your w is so wonderful why the hell mess it up with OW just for a BJ?? And is it really a BJ? I dont think so - looks to me as if she wants something more and this is her way of getting you to come to her!! What could be so tempting about a BJ with OW when you have your wife? You shouldnt even be tempted by someone else if you REALLY love her. The fact that you have even thought about it and flirted with this OW by email indicates to me you arent as innocent as u want everyone to believe you are. Grow up & get a life seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Take it from someone who had been there and felt the effects of it. Don't do it!!! If you really love your W like you say you don't do it, it will ruin everything you know. My H was persued/tempted by a co-worker for 3 years. Our M wasn't the greatest at the time and he ended up haivng an A w/ her. It ruined our M, it hasn't really been the same. My H lost his job b/c of her and he loved his job. Don't screw it up for yourself, it's def not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
zzzzzzzz Posted December 27, 2005 Share Posted December 27, 2005 Ok, yeah, it is wrong for him to go for it, but did anyone else try to figure out that $50 a second math problem? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused72 Posted December 28, 2005 Author Share Posted December 28, 2005 Wow....and I thought I wouldn't get any responses!! You guys are absolutely right!!!!!!!! I feel horrible for even having considered the possibility. Fantasizing about it was just an extension of some frustration I already have with my own sex life. I guess I just really want my sex life with my wife to be more passionate...more animalistic...."dirtier"......but it's never really been like that. We're both working on it, but progress is slow. I guess I was just attracted to how aggressive and blunt this girl was with her sexual attraction for me......no cutsie wootsie BS.....just pure sexual desire. Thanks for talking some sense into me. I didn't think so many of you would chime in with your thoughts....I really appreciate it! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Wow now I'm shocked! Confused, I'm glad you've read the advice and are going to take what we've said to heart. Keep the lines of communication open with your wife. Do some planning and bring that passion back! Remember why each of you fell inlove years ago. What did you love most about her back then? Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 Glad you are taking everyone's advice to mind and going to work on your marriage instead of cheating! Speaking from expierence i know how it can feel when your needs are being met,but that doesn't make it right to go out and cheat and cause alot of people heartache!! You telll your spouse what you want and need and tell them if they can't give you what you want then you move on and find someone too!! Not to cheat while you are married!!Communication is the key to a good marriage ,and i had just about given up and told my h what i needed and little by little i am getting it !! I told him i was tired of living in a marriage ,where i didn't feel wanted and needed. and i deserve better than he was giving me!! i told him if things didn't change i would have to go!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Freyja Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 I'm glad you understand the situation Confused72 and hopefully you'll take the right steps to get rid of this woman and try to rekindle the relationship with your wife. It'll take time so be patient, but its not like impossible for you to add some spice to your love life! Wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused72 Posted December 28, 2005 Author Share Posted December 28, 2005 Thanks everyone for your input!! I've been tempted before by ex-girlfriends and didn't even blink at keeping my distance....but when you take a frustrated sex life....combine it with aggravation at work....and then you find yourself being pursued by someone promising a no strings attached "gift" .....well..... it really messes with your head. Thanks for the support!! Link to post Share on other sites
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