DrPhilsPubes Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 My ex and I got back together back in April (early April) and I looked through his phone at the beginning of this month and he had messages showing that his ex (the girl in between our relationship) was coming over and he was being friendly with her I can’t remember if I saw that she came over twice or more but I know it was definitely twice cause I was looking at it fast. And that was during the first month we got back together. I only looked through his phone after she got in contact with me and told me her and him had had sex the day before and wanted to let me know cause she wasn’t aware we had gotten back together (her and I were friends before this he didn’t know) and when I confronted him about it he said he hadn’t. Fast forward to today I look in his phone and all the messages from her are deleted. I was gonna ask him let me see the messages that night but I was a little drunk and I didn’t want him turning the situation around on me and act like the only reason I was questioning is because I was drunk. Am I over reacting or does it seem like he actually cheated? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Looking at this history of your relationship, it's pretty much a train wreck. You moved away and broke up with him. He moved on, then you wanted him back he wasn't sure....and now you're back together but apparently he is still too immature (paraphrasing). With all this in mind, is it even worth bothering trying to get to the bottom of the current issue? Perhaps it's wiser to just call the whole thing off and go find someone who's a better match for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Turning point Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 It sounds like he is hedging his bets with a backup plan. He may in fact, be stringing you both along. Why his ex told you they had sex could go either way - she may be angry at him for stringing her along and done with him, or she may be upping the ante on getting you out of the picture once again. Only you know how to evaluate the ex's position. As for you, decide what you truly want and take a good hard look at this guy and decide if he's even capable enough to be part of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Looking at this history of your relationship, it's pretty much a train wreck. Unlike Basil, I'm not ambitious enough to read your backstory. OP, why did you break up originally and were there trust issues involved? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Also have not read your prior posts. Frankly sounds pretty suspicious. Consider asking him not to delete any more messages he gets from her. Link to post Share on other sites
Orokotikki Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 I'd say pretty obvious he cheated. 98-99% 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 You're not tripping, OP. Drama Central at the very best. This has 'not happy ending' written all over it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
emotionallybroken9 Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 OP, this has been my nightmare for the last year. She deleted their sexts and conversations until I accidentally saw one. I know. You WANT to believe there’s nothing. I spent another 3 months questioning and getting trickle Reuther. She lied straight to my face about the affair, and even AFTER it was discovered. If you don’t have kids, and you’re able to financially be stable, get out now and start anew. Is he some magical guy that you just HAVE to have in your life? The fact that even ONE deleted onversation exists means there’s never going to be 100% trust. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know that it’ll **** with your head for a long time to come, but you WILL be fine, if not better! Don’t let him abuse your sanity any longer. The trust is broken If he’s genuine, then he’ll fight for you to not leave and he’ll do everything under the sun to help you regain your trust in him. If not, and it’ll ****ing hurt, then you’ll need to make the best decision for YOU. I also didn’t read your history, so if no kids, and you’re not depending on him for money, then get out and start over again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fj1978 Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 He may have deleted the texts from the other girl because he doesn't want to see her name in the list of conversations when looking at his phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DrPhilsPubes Posted June 28, 2019 Author Share Posted June 28, 2019 Unlike Basil, I'm not ambitious enough to read your backstory. OP, why did you break up originally and were there trust issues involved? Mr. Lucky I didn’t feel like he respected me or my property. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DrPhilsPubes Posted June 28, 2019 Author Share Posted June 28, 2019 He may have deleted the texts from the other girl because he doesn't want to see her name in the list of conversations when looking at his phone. That’s the thing. He kept all the group chats with her just deleted her main messages. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiceCat Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Honestly there is little chance this will work out well whether he cheated or not. I'm so sorry but your best bet would be to move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 28, 2019 Share Posted June 28, 2019 Since you already know he was over there and now she has told you, there is no reason to doubt he is sleeping with both of you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I didn’t feel like he respected me or my property. Then it seems strange you’d get back together, given you don’t trust him. Or do you normally go through your partner’s phone? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted June 29, 2019 Share Posted June 29, 2019 I'd say pretty obvious he cheated. 98-99% Ditto... this isn't going to end well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 30, 2019 Share Posted June 30, 2019 Definitely cheating. You’re not tripping. So sorry for the world of pain you’re about to enter. You don’t deserve it. No one does. It takes 3-5 years to get over it, and it really does take that. Take care of yourself and maybe get some help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted July 1, 2019 Share Posted July 1, 2019 (edited) The way to predict the future is to look at the past. He cheated before, you split, he formed another relationship, came back to you but maintained contact with the OW. She reached out to you and now he has deleted what YOU know out have read ’the texts’. But having said that, what is the relationship like at the moment? Can you talk to your BF regarding most or all issues? However; that may put force the relationship underground. How much respect do you have for yourself. Confront him, he will of course lie, Than where will you be? Your subconscious is talking to you, listen to it. Move on get rid of this cheater. Edited July 1, 2019 by Buffer Fine tuning 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts