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Wife texting another married man?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 11th February 2019, 7:29 PM   #31
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Cut the crap and tell her you are filling for a divorce and do it.
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Old 11th February 2019, 8:44 PM   #32
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She prioritized him over you - andevenleft the bed with you to prioritize HIM!

You think heís gonna be honest with you? No, heís not!

Sheís not gonna be honest either - she would rather blame YOU. Thatís just cruel of her!

Stop going along with their lies!
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Old 11th February 2019, 8:54 PM   #33
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You are very naive and your wife is at the very least engaging in an emotional affair.

Your actions are very doormattish.

You have another man in your life and marriage.

You should wake up now. Do a deleted text message recovery on her phone.

I suspect you'll find what everyone is telling you there.

At this time your wife controls you because you are extremely weak. You will get more of what you've gotten.

We're just friends is the biggest lie told
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Old 11th February 2019, 9:40 PM   #34
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It seems that the opinion of the responders here is unanimous, you have the right to check as the husband. This are little crumbs, that will become bigger, so it is right to nip it in the bud. A strong marriage is built on trust but if one is texting, even on weekends and night and for a year, and then lying about it, it is bound to lead into something. Do yourself a favor, read the book ďBoundaries in Marriage,Ē by Henry Cloud and be aware of the dangers of these types of activities. Openness is one of the foundations of trust and lying is the opposite.
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Old 11th February 2019, 10:08 PM   #35
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Wow, I was completely expecting to backlashed for checking her phone/checking online status and texting the guy but instead it’s been the opposite, certainly has me looking at this in a different light.
Disgruntledhubby, the point here isn't that she's having an inappropriate emotional (at least) relationship with him. That happens, spouses get sucked into the connection and lose sight of the boundaries a healthy marriage requires.

Here's the real takeaway - when asked to stop and cut the ties to this "friend", she either couldn't or wouldn't.

Have you asked yourself "why is that"?

It has nothing to so with politeness, text etiquette or any other excuse she gave you. His feelings are obviously more important to her than yours, which is a pretty solid piece of intel. The longer you stay in denial, the worse this will be...

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Old 11th February 2019, 10:19 PM   #36
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It still amazes me that there are men out there like this oh my God.! She absolutely has no respect for him and I get why I really do the cheating there’s no excuse but her having no respect for Her husband I get it women respond to strength they despise weakness.! And he’s done nothing in her eyes what a man should do when the marriage is under attack. Honestly women test us And he’s done nothing but failed The test and is showing complete Beta traits women run.

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Old 12th February 2019, 11:19 AM   #37
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Sometimes it just takes awhile for the shock to subside when they truly trusted them and were blindsided. Like if your truck said it had all wheel drive, and the salesman did, but the button turned out to just be glued on the dash... (silly analogy, but) it can take awhile to really believe you been duped about something so boldly.
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Old 12th February 2019, 11:30 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by Disgruntledhubby View Post
Hi all,

I was wondering if I post my situation that I could get some advice,

So my wife has been texting this married guy(a guy known for cheating) for nearly 1 year now, I didnít mind at first as I trusted my wife but he would text her most weekends and she would be sneaky about and never said she was texting him,

Then one night she got up during the night to go text him in another room,this is when I started getting real paranoid,I asked her who she was texting and she said our son,I checked and wasnít active all night,she lied.

I confronted her and she denied it, the next day my mind was racing,Iíve done something Iíve never done,I checked her phone and found out it was this guy(this was my first time knowing who sheíd been texting for months), she deleted their chat from the previous night but there was a msg from him apologizing for last night.

I told her that Iíd checked her phone, and I knew who sheís been texting, she said itís nothing like you think they are only friends,I asked her to stop texting him and to block him,she said she canít block him and that she only texts him bk as she doesnít want to be rude,

After this night I got into a habit of checking when she was active late on weekend night,pathetic I know but my head was all over the place.

Anyway so he was still texting her and she was responding,it was happening most weekends, I could tell as she would be hiding the phone,and acting all suspicious, she done it right in front of me and I could clearly see who she was texting but she lied and denied it, I told her I could see it was him and she then admitted she was only texting him back,it was the first time in ages and it wonít happen again.

I told her this was messing with my head, I was feeling so paranoid and I needed her to stop

Anyway last night, it all came to a head, she was texting him again last weekend,and this weekend and Iím pretty sure the weekend before too, I lost it and done something Iíd never thought Iíd do,I text him asking why he was always texting my wife, in fairness he admitted it straight away,said it was harmless fun and they were only friends,he could see that it wasnít right and he would stop.

I now know that it was only just a friendship, my wife canít believe I let it get this far and is disgusted with me.

To be honest Iím pretty disgusted with myself,the checking her phone,checking up on her to see if sheís active and then texting him are completely out of character for me,

I need to know to other people get this paranoid and was I right to be a little paranoid?

My wife thinks I should have trusted her, my argument was the fact she kept lying made that very hard,as it turns out I should trusted her and feel like an absolute fool now.

Cheers
Holy cow you are weak. That is why she is cheating on you. You feel disgusted for following up on her lying and EA? She lied and got caught so she knows you're spineless and puts it on you? She said you should have trusted her despite the lying? First of all, you let it happen in the 1st place. There is no good reason married people need to text constantly especially at odd times. However, you showed all your cards and she will take it underground. Of course they are 'only friends' they just left out the 'with benefits' part. Good God, I hate to be so blunt but find your balls and backbone and look into divorce. You are letting yourself be a complete doormat.
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Old 12th February 2019, 12:11 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by Disgruntledhubby View Post
I agree with what you guys are telling me and the lying is what messed with my head, I think going by the responses so far, my paranoia was warranted.
What are you planning to do to change this situation with your cheating wife?
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Old 13th February 2019, 6:57 AM   #40
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Thanks for advice everybody, looks like itís over.
Just to point out the reason Iíve been a pushover if you will,is because we have 4 kids, I knew the enevitable outcome was a life separate from them and that breaks my heart more than anything.
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Old 13th February 2019, 9:06 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by Disgruntledhubby View Post
Thanks for advice everybody, looks like itís over.
Just to point out the reason Iíve been a pushover if you will,is because we have 4 kids, I knew the enevitable outcome was a life separate from them and that breaks my heart more than anything.

Over? Did you have a proper discussion with your wife? I understand wanting peace... I have kids too! And I couldn't leave when they were small... but my wife never cheated on me...
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Old 13th February 2019, 9:14 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by Disgruntledhubby View Post
Thanks for advice everybody, looks like itís over.
Just to point out the reason Iíve been a pushover if you will,is because we have 4 kids, I knew the enevitable outcome was a life separate from them and that breaks my heart more than anything.
Is it over because you have come to that conclusion, or has she told you it is over?
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Old 13th February 2019, 9:54 AM   #43
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Originally Posted by Disgruntledhubby View Post
I knew the enevitable outcome was a life separate from them
No, it's really not.

You need to see a lawyer.

Mothers do not automatically get custody.
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Old 13th February 2019, 10:04 AM   #44
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She has realized she is in the wrong, she didnít cheat with him but she lied about still texting him,she said she liked the attention.

I told her I do not trust her anymore and I cannot be with someone I donít trust,

At the minute we are trying figure out how we do this while causing the least amount of impact to our kids.
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Old 13th February 2019, 10:07 AM   #45
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Just to point out, she is an unbelievable mother to our kids, I would never take them away from her as it would do more damage to them.
Iím not sure how this is going to play out but Iíll post up what happens in a week or so when I know.
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