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Anyone having an affair and doesn't want to be intimate with their wives/husband??


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Anyone in an affair but doesn't want to leave or has not left their husband or wives feel like being intimate with them?

 

My bf (father of my child) is having an affair but doesn't want to leave me. However he doesn't want to be intimate with me sexually. I don't particularly want to be intimate with him anyway as he is sleeping with someone else but just want to know why he doesn't want to touch me. Giving more info..I'm not fat or ugly or let myself go. Infact I'm in a better shape than the other woman . I'm not bragging or competing but just want to know is it normal for someone in an affair to not want to have sex with their wives but only affair partner.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

He'd be cheating on her if he had sex with you.

 

The bigger question is why are you staying with him?

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I'm dealing with this affair and I never said I'm going to continue to stay with him. Please focus on the question asked instead of jumping Into conclusions and make accusations. But if you must know, I'm being practical and securing myself before I leave without him knowing.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I'm dealing with this affair and I never said I'm going to continue to stay with him. Please focus on the question asked instead of jumping Into conclusions and make accusations. But if you must know, I'm being practical and securing myself before I leave without him knowing.

 

OK, good to hear. But, I stand by my answer that he doesn't want to cheat on his affair partner even though he's willing to cheat on you. He also may realize it's irresponsible to be having regular sex with two different women, especially if it is unprotected.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

He also probably told her the two of you don't have sex anymore so he has to make that a true scenario, not only for her, but it justifies the affair in his mind. He has to keep giving himself a good reason to keep doing this and assure himself that he prefers her over you (even if he really doesn't).

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Anyone in an affair but doesn't want to leave or has not left their husband or wives feel like being intimate with them?

 

Not me personally, but a dear friend of mine knew her husband was cheating when their sex life dried up. She was right.

 

Her husband also didn't want to leave her and the "security" of a married family life, but lost interest in her sexually. Turns out he had promised his mistress that he wouldn't have sex with his wife while he was also having sex with her. And he was for some insane reason prioritizing the mistress's desires over his wife's. Sick, yes, My friend is a very attractive woman, but that doesn't always mean much when infidelity occurs.

 

Their marriage didn't survive. Eventually, he did leave.

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OK, good to hear. But, I stand by my answer that he doesn't want to cheat on his affair partner even though he's willing to cheat on you. He also may realize it's irresponsible to be having regular sex with two different women, especially if it is unprotected.

 

 

Gosh..I see. Thank you for your reply.

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Not me personally, but a dear friend of mine knew her husband was cheating when their sex life dried up. She was right.

 

Her husband also didn't want to leave her and the "security" of a married family life, but lost interest in her sexually. Turns out he had promised his mistress that he wouldn't have sex with his wife while he was also having sex with her. And he was for some insane reason prioritizing the mistress's desires over his wife's. Sick, yes, My friend is a very attractive woman, but that doesn't always mean much when infidelity occurs.

 

Their marriage didn't survive. Eventually, he did leave.

 

 

Yep exactly what my bfs mistress said to him. She made him promise to not sleep with me. I heard this from a mutual friend. Fine..I understand. But what I know is she will not be the last.

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He also probably told her the two of you don't have sex anymore so he has to make that a true scenario, not only for her, but it justifies the affair in his mind. He has to keep giving himself a good reason to keep doing this and assure himself that he prefers her over you (even if he really doesn't).

 

You are right! Again, a mutual friend told me this too. He told her we are not having sex which is true. And he also told her we are not sleeping in the same room which is a lie.

 

I don't care anymore who he prefers.

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Be glad he is not sleeping with you. You don’t want to be exposed to whatever sexually transmitted disease he may bring home...

 

Good luck as you plan to leave.

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Be glad he is not sleeping with you. You don’t want to be exposed to whatever sexually transmitted disease he may bring home...

 

Good luck as you plan to leave.

 

 

I guess I'm asking this question because I want to know the depth of this affair and if he still loves me or who he loves more. I don't know if you can measure love by amount of sex. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter any more if he loves me or not. But sometimes I wobble and get emotional while trying to be strong

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Anyone in an affair but doesn't want to leave or has not left their husband or wives feel like being intimate with them?

 

My bf (father of my child) is having an affair but doesn't want to leave me. However he doesn't want to be intimate with me sexually. I don't particularly want to be intimate with him anyway as he is sleeping with someone else but just want to know why he doesn't want to touch me. Giving more info..I'm not fat or ugly or let myself go. Infact I'm in a better shape than the other woman . I'm not bragging or competing but just want to know is it normal for someone in an affair to not want to have sex with their wives but only affair partner.

 

Well normally when a woman is having an affair she no longer wants to have sex with her husband. Most men will have sex with both the wife and mistress even though they lie to the mistress and say they are not having sex with the wife. The fact that your soon to be ex is having sex with her but won't with you means he is being loyal to her.

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I guess I'm asking this question because I want to know the depth of this affair and if he still loves me or who he loves more. I don't know if you can measure love by amount of sex. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter any more if he loves me or not.

 

My friend, if he is having sex with another woman - he does not love you. Men who love and respect their wives done cheat on them. Full stop.

 

I’m sorry this has happened to you. Again, I wish you strength.

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I guess I'm asking this question because I want to know the depth of this affair and if he still loves me or who he loves more. I don't know if you can measure love by amount of sex. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter any more if he loves me or not. But sometimes I wobble and get emotional while trying to be strong

 

 

I guess you need to know to gauge how long he will stay with you and if you can secure your plan to leave before he walks out.

It is impossible to say, some guys up and leave in a short time for the "love of their life", but that is not really common and others will stay as long as their wife/gf remains in the dark or as long as she will put up with it.

For many men an affair is about "extra", it is not really about replacing their wife/gf. Is that about love or is it just about maintaining a comfortable status quo, who knows?

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There are men who no longer find the mother of their child sexually attractive. Physical appearance has nothing to do with it.

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There are men who no longer find the mother of their child sexually attractive. Physical appearance has nothing to do with it.

 

Yes this too. I've seen this happen.

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There are men who no longer find the mother of their child sexually attractive. Physical appearance has nothing to do with it.

 

 

 

 

This can and does happen.

 

 

OP, if he is sleeping with an ow, there is every chance he is also sleeping with others behind her back too. It's the nature of the beast.

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somanymistakes

The problem is that cheaters are liars so it's really hard to get reliable data, and we all tend to go on stories we've heard or our gut feelings about what people are really like.

 

Many men having affairs insist that they are not sleeping with their wives, only the AP.

 

Almost everyone on LS assumes that's a total lie and that they're definitely sleeping with both (or more), because men are terrible. And sometimes they're right! But sometimes they're wrong.

 

The thing is, it doesn't mean he "loves" her more than you. If he wanted to be with her so much, surely it wouldn't be hard for him to pack up and leave? And if he wanted to be with you so much, it wouldn't be hard for him to stop screwing around?

 

He wants to stay with both of you because he gets some benefit out of that situation. Often, that's sex and excitement with the mistress, stability and family with the wife.

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Turning point
I guess I'm asking this question because I want to know the depth of this affair and if he still loves me or who he loves more. I don't know if you can measure love by amount of sex. I know at the end of the day it doesn't matter any more if he loves me or not. But sometimes I wobble and get emotional while trying to be strong

 

I get through that and smooth the wobble by reminding myself that I'm already showing more depth of love for myself and my kids than my STBX could show anyone.

 

There's an old George Carlin comedy routine where he asks: "who is it that puts the nearly empty carton of milk back into the refrigerator?" When I wobble - I think of my ex as that carton of milk. "Oops! Not enough to drink... better put that back."

 

People like this are empty cartons no matter whom it may appear they are pouring themselves into.

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There are men who no longer find the mother of their child sexually attractive. Physical appearance has nothing to do with it.

 

Yep..I agree totally.

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He wants to stay with both of you because he gets some benefit out of that situation. Often, that's sex and excitement with the mistress, stability and family with the wife.

 

True. That is often the situation where anyone gets caught between two people, not just in affairs.

One person provides ACE and G, the other BDF and H.

It is a perfect situation, all bases covered...

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Thank you everyone for replying. I know what I need to do and luckily I managed to detached myself from him emotionally. I just feel like I'm watching a bad TV show now. And being detached gave me clearer head and I can see things in a bigger better view. So I see he loves no one ..not her, not me but himself.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Thank you everyone for replying. I know what I need to do and luckily I managed to detached myself from him emotionally. I just feel like I'm watching a bad TV show now. And being detached gave me clearer head and I can see things in a bigger better view. So I see he loves no one ..not her, not me but himself.

 

Most likely not even himself.

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and if he still loves me or who he loves more.

 

The answer to that question doesn't come from whom he won't sleep with, it's who he will sleep with. And since that includes someone other than you, all you need to know. Stay strong...

 

Mr. Lucky

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