Woods15 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 (edited) I have yet to find hard evidence but the way he acted has changed. Everything he would say I would believe him but his actions says otherwise. He could of been doing this longer but I trusted him enough not to check anything he did, I gave him all the freedom he could have bc I felt like he was my soulmate and he [said] to me what a stand up guy he is and he would never do anything like that to hurt me. But I started noticing changes once he started his new job. Started to groom more shave his privates more often and “claims” it’s for me but we didn’t even have sex. Usually when I shave it’s for my husband I’m trying to impress him. Our sex life became almost non existence until i feel like I have to force him too. And I don’t want to live the rest of my life like this. I’m on his ass 24/7. I have a bad memory and I feel like he uses it against me sometimes. I would find female specimen on his boxers and he would always claim it to be wither from me or him. And I would dismiss it bc it isn’t proof. I started to get more and more crazy with more demands like no more hair gel , no more shaving your private’s only trim and became way more strict watching him like a hawk. Now normally he would say hell no your crazy but no didn’t he did it with no hesitation. That’s what I don’t get then he tells me that I am the mother of his child and out of respect for me he would never to that to us he would break it off with me before he even think about doing anything. But actions are louder then words. I use to be 100lbs then I had my 1st kid weighing at 160 the most I’ve ever and he could not keep his hands off me. Now I weigh 120 and he wouldn’t even touch me. Sometimes I feel like he’s afraid to touch me bc then I’ll get horny and try to have sex with him. I feel like I have to force it on him. Our sex is no longer intimate. Weekdays he seems to be less horny then weekend guess it’s bc he has no choice but to be with me. I found more specimens on the boxers near the hole but I knew better after last time to never do that but to pull his boxers down completely so that he can never use that excuse but he did I want to get it tested but it’s too much money especially for me bc I don’t work. I'm dying slowly everyday I watch him walk out that door. I don’t know what to do I know he’s hiding something but when he tells me all these things like he has never cheated and never will and that he takes marriage very seriously bc his parents never did. I’d believe his words till it’s time for action part to kick in. Then all my doubts would come flooding back. He would make it sound like it’s my fault we are going through this but in the nicest way possible. He would say things like “I love you and we can get through this what ever this thing you’re going through we will get past it... I promise” again all words. This has been happening since August and still ongoing. Am I being crazy or is he really cheating? Edited December 7, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge threads, clean up post, update title Link to post Share on other sites
Simple Logic Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 I think I would sit outside his work a time or two and see who is is having lunch with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woods15 Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 I do but he’s a very smart man by now he knows my license plate by heart Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 (edited) Problems inside the bedroom often have their origins outside the bedroom. Given that you're on his a$$ 24/7, I can see why he'd be turned off from having sex with you. The Notorious Cherry Bombs even wrote a song about it "It's hard to kiss the lips at night who chew your a$$ out all day long" Bigger question is why you're nagging him so much. What's going on? Edited December 3, 2018 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woods15 Posted December 3, 2018 Author Share Posted December 3, 2018 His sex drive was gone before I started being on his ass the all of a sudden change was what got me crazy Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 I wouldn't need hard evidence or an admission that he has been cheating. I refuse to live like this. The fact that he has done what he has done in the past, and the fact that you are feeling the way that you are feeling now, would be reason enough to leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Rockdad Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Nagging a person into submission is not going to solve the problem. Perhaps makes the person feel better in the moment to vent and perhaps thinking they are gaining some control. It's a sure way of how not to create a happy home. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted December 3, 2018 Share Posted December 3, 2018 Probably best to get working so you're not dependent on him to provide for you... and you don't feel like you're at his mercy. He's likely cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 I wouldn't need hard evidence or an admission that he has been cheating. I refuse to live like this. The fact that he has done what he has done in the past, and the fact that you are feeling the way that you are feeling now, would be reason enough to leave. The fasted way to be a failure in life is to make decisions about your life based on your feelings... feelings mean nothing - in fact women should bbe warned in life about this,since they emote more than man. Link to post Share on other sites
BreakOnThrough Posted December 7, 2018 Share Posted December 7, 2018 Your relationship is already over because the fundamental aspects of it are completely gone. It could be regained with some heavy transparency, but I imagine neither of you are capable. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamess1 Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 (edited) If the genders were reversed, and he was treating you the way you are treating him, people would be advising you to leave that crazy husband of yours,...they would tell you, '...he is unstable and might hurt you', even if you were the one cheating. You seem very controlling and disrespectful, according to your own words, you wrote: I gave him all the freedom he could have...and more crazy with more demands like no more hair gel , no more shaving your privateÂ’s only trim and became way more strict watching him like a hawk. He is your husband, your life partner and the father of your children...but you refer to him as a teen child... You clearly have insecurity issues that are deeper than your issue with your husband. How was your own relationship with your father? There are issues in you past you need to deal with; a past betrayal maybe etc. Instead of putting energy trying to act 'crazy' (as you mentioned in your post) and jealous, why won't you put effort to lose weight? Your husband won't tell you this, like other good married men who lose attraction when their wives gain weight : start taking care of your body, start losing weight, it affects his arousal/attraction for you (..he will act polite, withdraw from sex, you might think he is cheating, but this is how men are) and instinctively women know this, attraction is not a choice,.... in fact he feels physically cheated as your husband, he married a good woman,wife and mother but also a woman with the physical features that he knew as a man he found arousing, and now you have gained weight, and those arousing features are gone...he still loves you but his attraction for you has decreased. When you start losing weight you will see the change in his arousal for you changing, and you will feel more confident...some couples wrongly view getting married as a license to rest and stop attracting their other half...they let themselves go....some wives stop dressing seksy, stop wearing make-up, stop wearing sexy panties, stop dieting...and their men feel cheated, they feel tricked into a marriage that is not delivering the hot seks they had in the beginning .. NB* There are many accounts here of wives confessing they no longer find their husbands attractive after he gained weight, or the usual, 'he legs are just to skinny for me..' I also advice men to continue going to the gym during marriage, dressing their best, grooming, even after marriage as if they were still single...they have all thanked me for the improvements they experienced in their marriages. Don't be deceived by this myth, "The physical is shallow, what matters is the heart, my partner should love me as I am", it sounds nice, but it isn't reality, after all we physical beings. Edited December 8, 2018 by Jamess1 Edited Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 8, 2018 Share Posted December 8, 2018 Instead of putting energy trying to act 'crazy' (as you mentioned in your post) and jealous, why won't you put effort to lose weight? Your husband won't tell you this, like other good married men who lose attraction when their wives gain weight : start taking care of your body, start losing weight, it affects his arousal/attraction for you (..he will act polite, withdraw from sex, you might think he is cheating, but this is how men are) and instinctively women know this, attraction is not a choice,.. If you actually read the OP, when she was 160lbs he couldn't keep his hands off her, now she is 120lbs he won't touch her... Link to post Share on other sites
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