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Lost inside myself


Lostingtown

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I have a long story and I am going to ramble a bit. Please understand, this is the first time I have posted here.

 

I have been flirting harmlessly for a very long time with an attractive woman at work. This was over a year of just being friendly. We never crossed a line and I didnÂ’t put it on the table.

 

I had invited her out to lunch and she cautiously asked me if the relationship I was in with my wife was open to me having a one time adventure. I told her that it wasnÂ’t, but I was not offensive and I donÂ’t feel like I discouraged her advance. She went on to explain that in her decade of marriage her husband had shared her 4 times with strangers. He had always chosen a stranger in a bar setting when there were away from home. However, she thought if I would be open to it then I could be the one she picked to have this type of sex and nothing more. I was surprised and really felt good about myself that she looked at me like that. I agreed that it could be a lot of fun.

 

The next week were in a hotel room for an afternoon of sex. Her husband didnÂ’t know and my wife surly didnÂ’t know. We had sex at least 4 times a week over the next few weeks. We were having sex in the car and a hotel room when we were going to have time.

 

I have never met her husband in the beginning he was texting me and asking me questions. So it was clear that in the beginning she was going to really treat this as a one and done thing. When he texted me he made that clear too. However, by the time her was texting me we were having sex a lot. I just rolled with it. He gave me permission to have sex with his wife once. I met her at the hotel for several hours of fun and sent her home to him. It was very weird for me. I could tell that it was different for her too.

 

Fast forward 6 weeks, we are still having sex at least 4 times a week. We text and talk quite a bit while he is at work and such. We are in a much of a relationship as you can be in this place. We have lunch together by default. We meet before work daily. It has become normal for us to be around each other during work hours and just before. Then I get a call one morning when she is coming in late. Her husband had discovered our conversations from the phone bill. She called me on speakerphone. He was in the background pissed. She was cryptic in how she talked to me and made it clear he only knew about the calls and texts. He didnÂ’t know about the sex. This didnÂ’t stop us. It just moved our relationship to Snapchat.

 

Fast forward another 4 weeks. We had been close several times that week. I had held her many times and not had sex. We had grown together to the point that it was not just about sex anymore. There was an emotional connection that was real. We started using “I love you”.

 

I tell you all of that to tell you this.

I have a domant personality and she wants to be a submissive. Her current relationship doe not allow that. She has to be the dominate in her relationship and she tells me she doesnÂ’t want that power. I love being with her because she allows me to feel powerful. My current relationship does not allow me to be dominant.

 

When she is with me she talks about how much she loves me and she openly tells me that she loves her husband. When she is with him she will be a good wife, but she is at the same time faithful to the rules that we have established, we have a set of dom/sub rules.

 

I do not expect her to leave her family to be with me and I really cannot see me leaving mine to be with her. However, I get so jealous when I donÂ’t hear from her. I feel so empty when too much time goes by and I donÂ’t hear from her. I know IÂ’m being selfish and I want to have her always. In this moment I am struggling dealing with the silence of today. Weekend are so hard and the holidays are even harder.

 

How do I deal with this emotion that I have inside me? I go to a pretty dark place if I donÂ’t hear from her when we are apart.

 

Fasts:

Both married

Both have kids

Having sex for more than 4 months

Use I love you regularly

I trust her

She loves my crazy

I lover her crazy

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Hi Lost, I guess you are in the wrong forum here. Most of the folks will disapprove of your actions. You should go to an alternative lifestyle site preferably a Hotwife site to get advice. Just a thought. Best wishes.

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Above poster's correct, not going to get much approval here.

 

You conveniently don't mention one person in your post - your wife. I suppose she doesn't get much consideration these days. Do you care how much your actions would break get if/when she finds out? Are you prepared to lose everything?

 

Have you thought you may be being played? The husband is a man who likes to send his wife out to have sex with other men and then go back and report back to him? He's basically in heaven just now and you're the tool being used to help their marriage?

 

I think you should man up and tell your wife, you obviously don't want to be with her anymore and she deserves to be with someone who's not humiliating her by cheating on her daily!

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Agreed, seems to me that he came here for either validation of his actions or to address him being lovesick for the OW.

 

I doubt he would find much approval on alt lifestyle forums either, as those are based on trust and communication, and he’s just actively cheating on his wife.

 

Even the OW can’t claim that her lifestyle allows it as she isn’t being a hotwife in this sense but just a cheater, trying to have her cake and eat it too.

 

OP, you want to know how to deal with these feelings? Deal with your affair and get the OW to do so as well.

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It doesn't really need much "approval", it is a simple MM/MW story of "love", with the only difference being the "BH" knows and is orchestrating some of the action.

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I guess you would have no problem with your wife constantly having sex with another man behind your back and putting your health at risk for STD's either.

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it is a simple MM/MW story of "love", with the only difference being the "BH" knows and is orchestrating some of the action.

 

Amen. Despite the unusual and salacious details, nothing out of the ordinary about a WS cheating on a spouse in an EA turned PA.

 

Lostingtown, at this point what do you want? As other have said, your marriage seems almost inconsequential to you. Why not divorce and have all the "strange" you want?

 

Mr. Lucky

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  • 2 weeks later...
Hi Lost, I guess you are in the wrong forum here. Most of the folks will disapprove of your actions. You should go to an alternative lifestyle site preferably a Hotwife site to get advice. Just a thought. Best wishes.

 

Speak for yourself, if you can't help then don't comment...it's not a must, he didn't ask for disapproval/approval...and he is on the right forum. Your very shot comment says a lot about you, I can almost picture the person you...

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...what about your wife?

 

...your supposedly non-open marriage?

 

...and how about the fact that you're shamelessly cheating on your wife behind her back?

 

grow up, OP.

Edited by diddilybop
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I have a domant personality and she wants to be a submissive. Her current relationship doe not allow that. She has to be the dominate in her relationship and she tells me she doesnÂ’t want that power. I love being with her because she allows me to feel powerful. My current relationship does not allow me to be dominant.

 

And I am called a misogynist for stating that women want a dominant man, a men who knows how dominate her, to take charge, to take control. Having power is masculine, and as long as a woman has power she can not be feminine, and can't be happy. Your dominance creates a frame that allows her to express her femininity, something she can't do with her feminine husband, no wonder why she suggested an open relationship(overt cuckoldry)

 

I do not expect her to leave her family to be with me and I really cannot see me leaving mine to be with her. However, I get so jealous when I donÂ’t hear from her. I feel so empty when too much time goes by and I donÂ’t hear from her. I know IÂ’m being selfish and I want to have her always.

 

And what's wrong with been jealous ? And what's wrong with been selfish with a woman.Be jealous and selfish then...don't be a beta like her husband at home, she is fcking you because you an alpha : you know you are a man and that you need seks, you don't feel guilty about having seks with two women, because you know that it is the male sexual strategy:sexual plurality.You are dominant,possessive, jealous and selfish...

 

Don't become the beta husband she already has, or she will lose the attraction - don't stop fcking her because her husband doesn't approve - an alpha doesn't need another man's consent to fck a woman, the only consent you need is hers, own her body, be selfish with it, unleash the raw masculinity she craves for in you,

 

My current relationship does not allow me to be dominant.

 

Dominance is not a agreement, there is no allowing - you are a man, just be dominant...

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If this is truly the way you feel then I think you should at least give your wife permission to have sex with your AP's husband whenever she wants. If you are going to have an open marriage then the least you could do is tell your wife and your AP's husband and give them a weekend away together. Not only are you cheating on your wife but you are cheating her out of the opportunity to having sex with someone else the same way you are doing. How does that sound to you? I wish you well but I wish your wife more than well.

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How do I deal with this emotion that I have inside me? I go to a pretty dark place if I donÂ’t hear from her when we are apart.

 

Hello Lost-

I think there are a few issues going on here.

First: You need a way to calm your emotions and I think that talking with a therapist would help. You need a safe space to figure out why you have attached yourself to a situation that is causing you so much stress and despair.

 

Second: It seems like you have specifically identified your needs in bed but don't believe that it will ever be that way with your wife. And it might not be but have you considered trying to bring a little bit of those elements into your marriage bed? If you have tried and it is not possible you need to decide whether those needs are more vital to your happiness that the life you have now. Things to consider would be your family life and your relationship with your kids.

 

Third: As others have pointed out, your wife deserves honesty from you especially if you are still having sex with her and believes that you are faithful.

 

I must disclose that I am a WS and my husband and I have not slept together in over 2.5 years which is one of the reasons I strayed. My affair was brief because my AP ghosted afterwards. I have to say the whole emotional aspect of having sex with someone who used me was awful and not worth it. So for now I am giving up those needs and just focusing on becoming a better person. I don't know what the future holds for my marriage but I want to be in a good place when it ends.

 

I wish you the best and hope you find the peace you deserve.

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You’re chasing a piece of tail at work.

 

And your marriage will implode because of it.

 

Hope the mistress that finds you so sexy and dominant is there to sit by your bedside when you are old and incontinent.

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And I am called a misogynist for stating that women want a dominant man, a men who knows how dominate her, to take charge, to take control. Having power is masculine, and as long as a woman has power she can not be feminine, and can't be happy. Your dominance creates a frame that allows her to express her femininity, something she can't do with her feminine husband, no wonder why she suggested an open relationship(overt cuckoldry)

 

 

 

And what's wrong with been jealous ? And what's wrong with been selfish with a woman.Be jealous and selfish then...don't be a beta like her husband at home, she is fcking you because you an alpha : you know you are a man and that you need seks, you don't feel guilty about having seks with two women, because you know that it is the male sexual strategy:sexual plurality.You are dominant,possessive, jealous and selfish...

 

Don't become the beta husband she already has, or she will lose the attraction - don't stop fcking her because her husband doesn't approve - an alpha doesn't need another man's consent to fck a woman, the only consent you need is hers, own her body, be selfish with it, unleash the raw masculinity she craves for in you,

 

 

 

Dominance is not a agreement, there is no allowing - you are a man, just be dominant...

 

 

And appreciate that advice like this...unless you are really wealthy...will leave you alone in your golden years when you’re wrinkled and feeble

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And I am called a misogynist for stating that women want a dominant man, a men who knows how dominate her, to take charge, to take control. Having power is masculine, and as long as a woman has power she can not be feminine, and can't be happy. Your dominance creates a frame that allows her to express her femininity, something she can't do with her feminine husband, no wonder why she suggested an open relationship(overt cuckoldry)

 

 

 

And what's wrong with been jealous ? And what's wrong with been selfish with a woman.Be jealous and selfish then...don't be a beta like her husband at home, she is fcking you because you an alpha : you know you are a man and that you need seks, you don't feel guilty about having seks with two women, because you know that it is the male sexual strategy:sexual plurality.You are dominant,possessive, jealous and selfish...

 

Don't become the beta husband she already has, or she will lose the attraction - don't stop fcking her because her husband doesn't approve - an alpha doesn't need another man's consent to fck a woman, the only consent you need is hers, own her body, be selfish with it, unleash the raw masculinity she craves for in you,

 

 

 

Dominance is not a agreement, there is no allowing - you are a man, just be dominant...

 

 

This is the kind of advice that gets men slapped in the face, or laughed at. The funny thing is that for all it pretends to understand all women, it really understands none.

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Starswillshine
And I am called a misogynist for stating that women want a dominant man, a men who knows how dominate her, to take charge, to take control. Having power is masculine, and as long as a woman has power she can not be feminine, and can't be happy. Your dominance creates a frame that allows her to express her femininity, something she can't do with her feminine husband, no wonder why she suggested an open relationship(overt cuckoldry)

 

 

 

And what's wrong with been jealous ? And what's wrong with been selfish with a woman.Be jealous and selfish then...don't be a beta like her husband at home, she is fcking you because you an alpha : you know you are a man and that you need seks, you don't feel guilty about having seks with two women, because you know that it is the male sexual strategy:sexual plurality.You are dominant,possessive, jealous and selfish...

 

Don't become the beta husband she already has, or she will lose the attraction - don't stop fcking her because her husband doesn't approve - an alpha doesn't need another man's consent to fck a woman, the only consent you need is hers, own her body, be selfish with it, unleash the raw masculinity she craves for in you,

 

 

 

Dominance is not a agreement, there is no allowing - you are a man, just be dominant...

 

GAG. Agreed with previous poster, this would get you slapped... and you obviously dont have a clue about women.

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This is the kind of advice that gets men slapped in the face, or laughed at. The funny thing is that for all it pretends to understand all women, it really understands none.

 

Reminds me of a common saying,

 

"You can't love and understand women at the same time"

 

The idea is, if you understand them you can't love them, if love them, then you don't understand them.

 

I understand her kind 'the woman he is cheating with', I know what she is looking for and I know what she is lacking.

 

Basically exposed and echoed back what the poster described in his post - what the women told him she wants. I do i understand women : it's hobby of mine to get in their pants.

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Reminds me of a common saying,

 

"You can't love and understand women at the same time"

 

The idea is, if you understand them you can't love them, if love them, then you don't understand them.

 

I understand her kind 'the woman he is cheating with', I know what she is looking for and I know what she is lacking.

 

Basically exposed and echoed back what the poster described in his post - what the women told him she wants. I do i understand women : it's hobby of mine to get in their pants.

 

 

You only have an understanding of one particular type of woman. I can assure you that you would not get "into the pants" of any woman I know.

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