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Caught cyber cheating of fiance


xxbelieverinlovexx

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xxbelieverinlovexx

Hello,

 

I am engaged to a 34 year old man. I am 21. We were about to get married in 2 weeks. I caught him today on cheating on the internet. He is on internationalcupid and likes women. I even saw that he tried to meet up with a woman last month when he was on a business triyp. He changed his whole living location because he was in that certain country. I also discovered inappropiate whatsapp contact between him and his friend, confessing that he finds her attractive, that he gets horny from her. He spent a few days in her house (he had some problems, and I completely trusted him). He just confessed to me that he has an addiction to contacting women. We just bought a cat and were starting our family. He wants to continue the relationship. He does not want to let me go. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me to stay. My mind says LEAVE ! Should I give him another chance?

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bathtub-row

By all means give him another chance of you want to spend the next 40-50 years in a marriage where your husband cheats and has a compulsion to contact other women. Your heart, in this case, will land you on a world of misery.

 

What do you mean you’re starting a family? Are you pregnant?

 

Btw, I don’t mean to sound glib. I’m really sorry for what has happened to you just weeks away from your wedding. So sad. Your fiancé only deserves one thing - to lose you.

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xxbelieverinlovexx

We started our family with the kitten. He says that he feels terrible. We cried both. Can men change?

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bathtub-row
We started our family with the kitten. He says that he feels terrible. We cried both. Can men change?

 

His tears are crap. He’s only sorry because he got caught and he’s hoping you’re weak enough to stay with him. This guy has broken your heart and he will continue to do so — no matter what he tells you, no matter how many tears he sheds.

 

If you do nothing else, please call off the wedding. And keep the kitty. And thank your lucky, lucky stars that you don’t have kids with this jerk.

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whichwayisup
Hello,

 

I am engaged to a 34 year old man. I am 21. We were about to get married in 2 weeks. I caught him today on cheating on the internet. He is on internationalcupid and likes women. I even saw that he tried to meet up with a woman last month when he was on a business triyp. He changed his whole living location because he was in that certain country. I also discovered inappropiate whatsapp contact between him and his friend, confessing that he finds her attractive, that he gets horny from her. He spent a few days in her house (he had some problems, and I completely trusted him). He just confessed to me that he has an addiction to contacting women. We just bought a cat and were starting our family. He wants to continue the relationship. He does not want to let me go. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me to stay. My mind says LEAVE ! Should I give him another chance?

 

Leave! You're 21 and have the whole world to explore. Don't marry him! Listen to your gut! He's not ready to commit to you, let alone stay faithful. You deserve a great guy who will only be into you.

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40somethingGuy
Hello,

 

I am engaged to a 34 year old man. I am 21. We were about to get married in 2 weeks. I caught him today on cheating on the internet. He is on internationalcupid and likes women. I even saw that he tried to meet up with a woman last month when he was on a business triyp. He changed his whole living location because he was in that certain country. I also discovered inappropiate whatsapp contact between him and his friend, confessing that he finds her attractive, that he gets horny from her. He spent a few days in her house (he had some problems, and I completely trusted him). He just confessed to me that he has an addiction to contacting women. We just bought a cat and were starting our family. He wants to continue the relationship. He does not want to let me go. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me to stay. My mind says LEAVE ! Should I give him another chance?

 

Just think about what your heart will tell you when he continues his ADDICTION. And he probably has had sex behind your back as well. If not (doubtful) he will the first chance he gets. You are so lucky you found out now. Take the cat and ditch him. He pretty much said he is addicted to cheating he just doesn't want to be alone. He hopes you fill his constant need while he always looks for more on the side. Staying with him is a great way to catch a disease as well. Leaving is a very easy choice. Don't look back. He is banking on when this settles he can go back to his ways without getting caught.

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I was going to say why would you possibly even consider marrying a guy who has been cheating on you and ruin the rest of your life but then you said you got a kitten.

 

 

This changes everything.

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Doorstopper

I tend to favor reconciliation, but in the case when there is no marriage, and no kids there really no reason for it.

 

If he's 34 and and looking to marry a 21 year old, when you are 31, he's likely to still want the 21 year old and look elsewhere.

 

Honestly, if you leave him, in a year or 2, you will be thankful that you didn't go through with the marriage. You have likely only wasted a few years of your life....Don't stretch that into a decade.

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bathtub-row

Not to mention that the next guy you get serious about will have a LOT of respect for you because he’ll know you won’t put up with any nonsense. Believe me, your decisions now will impact you going forward.

 

I know it’s hard to think about being with someone else but I’m just jumping ahead and trying to get you to look at the long-term consequences and/or benefits to what you decide now. They’re pretty far-reaching, whichever way you decide to go. But you are SO young with so much potential ahead of you. Leave this guy with your head held high, let yourself heal, and then find a truly good and honest man.

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I also discovered inappropiate whatsapp contact between him and his friend, confessing that he finds her attractive, that he gets horny from her. He spent a few days in her house (he had some problems, and I completely trusted him).

 

I'm curious why you label his actions as "cyber cheating"? He spent several days with this "attractive, horny" friend, hard to imagine their contact was confined to the virtual world.

 

You're lucky as you've found out early and before you've tied the knot. I'd ghost him starting today...

 

Mr. Lucky

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We started our family with the kitten. He says that he feels terrible. We cried both. Can men change?

 

Can men change?

 

It all depends on the man him self. Yes some of us can for the better. There are those of the male species that can change and mean it. There are others that say they will and never do.

 

Personal run and never look back.

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There are those of the male species that can change and mean it.

 

 

I wasn't aware that males are a totally different species.

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Take your kitten and leave this man. Why would you want to start your marriage with deception and betrayal.

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Hello,

 

I am engaged to a 34 year old man. I am 21. We were about to get married in 2 weeks. I caught him today on cheating on the internet. He is on internationalcupid and likes women. I even saw that he tried to meet up with a woman last month when he was on a business triyp. He changed his whole living location because he was in that certain country. I also discovered inappropiate whatsapp contact between him and his friend, confessing that he finds her attractive, that he gets horny from her. He spent a few days in her house (he had some problems, and I completely trusted him). He just confessed to me that he has an addiction to contacting women. We just bought a cat and were starting our family. He wants to continue the relationship. He does not want to let me go. I don't know what to do. My heart tells me to stay. My mind says LEAVE ! Should I give him another chance?

 

I usually don't advise anyone to leave their significant other, because I think we should do everything in our capacity to preserve a relationship if there is any hope at all of saving it.

 

However, I'm inclined by my better judgement to suggest you say goodbye to this 'chaser'. You're obviously hurt and rightfully concerned about his fidelity issues. Your youthful heart deserves much more respect and sincerity than its currently receiving, little lady. :)

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You didn't start a family. You adopted a cat. As much as I loved all my pets over the years, don't romanticize a pet. You can't stay with a cheater over a cat. Be grateful you learned this now before the wedding when you can get out without needing an expensive divorce lawyer.

 

If you are hell-bent on staying together, postpone the wedding for a least a year. Get serious MC. Require transparency & see if he can break this so called "addiction." I don't believe it's an addiction. I think he's just a cheater who can't keep it in his pants because he's not trying to. He only selfishly cares about his changes to feel good & doesn't give one whit about you.

 

You absolutely can't get married in 2 weeks. If you don't believe me, try telling your parents what you found out. Just make sure your dad doesn't end up in jail for beating the snot out of your FI

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IndigoNight
Hello,

 

He just confessed to me that he has an addiction to contacting women. Should I give him another chance?

 

He admitted his addiction to contacting other women to you, and unless he makes some HUGE changes in his life (and HE has to want to change for HIM, and not just placate you) and seek professional help to do so. You can expect it to continue if he doesn't actively seek help, and work on his addiction. Only you can decide if you want to deal with his addiction issues. Even if he promises to get help, you may want to postpone any wedding plans until the issue is under control. Unless he sees what he is doing as hurtful and wrong, the chances of him changing for the long haul are slim and none.

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Miss Clavel

it's time for a road trip. put the cat in a hat and pack. take a bus or a train. ride it until you know you will miss the wedding. ride until you find someplace you like or someone you know.

 

good luck.

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I'm just going to echo what others have said. He's been having sex with other women for as long as you've known him. It's not that he's just "trying" to hook up--he's done it successfully. He'll continue to do this. You're just his favorite of the hook-ups, for now. You won't be 21 forever and that's when his eye will shift to something younger. By then you'll have had multiple STDs.

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aliveagain

If they cheat on you before you marry them they will cheat on you after they marry you. I will give you the same advice I would give my daughter, run.

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Veronica73

Take your kitty and ditch that lying, cheating, cheater d-bag!

 

Seriously, you are SO young. Don't waste your youth on this *******. And the first year of marriage tends to be a big change and to be hard for a lot of couples. Add the fact that he is unable to be trusted into that mix, and it is not going to be a good time. I think you should ditch him and run for the hills. And if you really don't want to ditch him, even though I really think you should and you could do much better and your kitty will probably be a better partner than he will be... at least delay the marriage for AT LEAST a year. Please don't get married in 2 weeks.

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Leave. You're 21 and have many years to find someone trustworthy. Don't tie yourself down to a serial cheater unless you wish a future full of pain.

 

I too had a fiance who I caught sexting with his ex. Dumped him on the spot and haven't looked back. Since that time, I've been with a wonderful guy who recently proposed so there's hope for the future for you too!

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