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Infidelity slip up or am i too sensitive?


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I have been married for well over a decade and lately have been concerned with my husband's whereabouts.

He's always been into fitness, so the majority of the time that he says he's working out, he is.

However there's been some small changes and I've questioned him about it and he always claims to be innocent. Maybe he is.

But today we drove past this satellite type thing and i joked with him it was there to track his cheating.

Without thinking, he said "well its clearly doing a bad job" and when i looked horrified, he added in "because if it was, you would know I'm not cheating".

Is there ANY way in which i could just be being paranoid or was this a giveaway? I want to be wrong very much.

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FilterCoffee

It’s really hard to tell with just this much information. Could you check the messages and photos on his phone?

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It’s really hard to tell with just this much information. Could you check the messages and photos on his phone?

 

I have done and he never has anything on there at all. I'm guessing most cheaters learn that phones aren't a great idea for communicating with mistresses? He also leaves it wherever and i can go through it in front of him and he has no paranoia at all.

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FilterCoffee

If he’s completely calm when you’re checking his phone then I doubt he’s cheating. Plus he’s fine leaving it around so that’s another good sign. When you can, check all of his messaging apps; Facebook, whatsapp, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn and text. Also go through his email.

 

However there's been some small changes and I've questioned him about it and he always claims to be innocent.

What are these small changes?

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The small changes i mentioned are telling me his work hours change week to week. He will often leave alot earlier and finish alot later than he usually does. In his job, it's possible this is true. On his days off he often works out but he does seem to be doing it erratically lately.

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If you believe in big foot you can always find evidence that he is real, of course it still doesn't make it so.

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If you believe in big foot you can always find evidence that he is real, of course it still doesn't make it so.

 

Do you think I'm overreacting?

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Not much to go on but you should really stop tipping your hand that you suspect something. If he is cheating, all you're going to do is make him cover up his tracks even more if you keep bringing it up. Do some evidence gathering. If you get definitive proof, that's when you start the questioning. Until then, act like you don't suspect a thing. Easier said than done I know but it's in your best interest.

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salparadise
Do you think I'm overreacting?

 

Overreacting? No. Because that would imply he's done something to give you cause to be suspicious. What you're doing is generating a narrative from scratch based on nothing more than insecurity and irrational fear.

 

The problem you have is that distrust and unfounded accusations could become self-fulfilling. How long would it take you to start feeling disdainful if the shoe were on the other foot?

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FULL STOP. seriously?

 

...we drove past this satellite type thing and i JOKED [emphasis added] with him it was there to track his cheating. Without thinking [emphasis added], he said "well its clearly doing a bad job" and when i looked horrified, he added in "because if it was, you would know I'm not cheating".

 

 

 

so you JOKE about something and do NOT expect a 'funny' a/k/a joke response? AND when he realized you were 'shocked' he reaffirmed he was not cheating.

 

 

BTW i would have instantly responded 'well you better get your money back'.

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whichwayisup

Has he cheated on you in the past? If not, why are you do think he is? What are the real red flags? Does he hide his phone, shower as soon as he gets home? Avoids intimacy with you?

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