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Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 12th January 2018, 12:15 PM   #31
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OP doesn't need to pain shop. The mental images should do just fine. Oh, and also the "sword fighting". If you catch my drift. YUCK! Great example for the kiddos.

WW tacitly said she doesn't want to stop putting other men's penis' in her, so...You have that to take to the bank.

I just don't see where she WANTS to work on things. You want something that is not there. And what is there is gross. And the thought that a partner of a relationship would let someone else "pay" for it to happen is making my head spin. Like exorcist style....
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Old 13th January 2018, 10:01 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by tomas111 View Post
We met in highschool, we were friends for a few years but lost touch and went separate ways for a while. We reconnected years later at a mutual friends get together. We dated for about a year, got engaged for about 6 months and we had our wedding. (sorry i made a typo, 4 years married) she got pregnant right after and we had our daughter who is now 3. We are now 26 years old. Everything was amazing prior to her giving birth. After birth she became erratic. short tempered. always claiming i was not helping her even though I was doing my best. I was not the type to go out with friends. I wanted to be a family man so after each 8 hour day I would come home to them to spend time with them and take my daughter out to give my wife a break. After years of her telling me i did nothing for them we started to have a lot of friction. especially my side I hated hearing i did nothing so i started doing nothing.

She was the homemaker type but she liked to spend some time with her girlfriends once in a while. they would go for coffee, get their nails done or to a bar for girls night out. In the last year that changed. she started going out all the time. she would come home at 4 or 5am sometimes.
Girls nights out, coming home 5 am, indicates an affair.
Willingly wanted to separated indicates she has a full blown
affair going on prior to the separation. She moved out so she
could and has had her OM over there countless times.
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Old 13th January 2018, 11:24 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky View Post
tomas111, here's a very simple starting place to determine her sincerity - her phone and the phone records. Those with nothing to hide, hide nothing and there's no reason a married couple shouldn't have access to each other's phones and social media. My wife and I have been "working" on our relationship for 30 years and trust and openness are a bis part of it.

Hand her your unlocked phone, ask her for hers. The reaction will tell you all you need to know. If you want to do some further pain shopping, pull the records as has been suggested...

Mr. Lucky
Good advice, but keep in mind that she can keep a second phone on the side he may not know about. It's easy to hide a phone that you only pull out when the person you're keeping it from isn't around.

But I completely agree that she should be able to show him any communication device she's using and he should be able to freely examine it any time.
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Old 13th January 2018, 4:11 PM   #34
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Dude...

Itís your phone. Just go get the sim swapped over to a new one and put it in your phone.

You will know in a few hours whatís up.


Tbh, that seems a waste though. Kick this woman to the curb. The idea that you can have a relationship with someone who doesnít want to have one is insane.
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Old 14th January 2018, 1:45 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by tomas111 View Post
We met in highschool, we were friends for a few years but lost touch and went separate ways for a while. We reconnected years later at a mutual friends get together. We dated for about a year, got engaged for about 6 months and we had our wedding. (sorry i made a typo, 4 years married) she got pregnant right after and we had our daughter who is now 3. We are now 26 years old. Everything was amazing prior to her giving birth. After birth she became erratic. short tempered. always claiming i was not helping her even though I was doing my best. I was not the type to go out with friends. I wanted to be a family man so after each 8 hour day I would come home to them to spend time with them and take my daughter out to give my wife a break. After years of her telling me i did nothing for them we started to have a lot of friction. especially my side I hated hearing i did nothing so i started doing nothing.

She was the homemaker type but she liked to spend some time with her girlfriends once in a while. they would go for coffee, get their nails done or to a bar for girls night out. In the last year that changed. she started going out all the time. she would come home at 4 or 5am sometimes.
So she has been cheating on you for the past year.
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Old 14th January 2018, 1:57 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by tomas111 View Post
thats what scares me now. if we have an argument is she gonna go **** someone now? i dont know if i can trust her.
Read No More Mr Nice Guy.

If she is pregnant, get a court ordered dna test when the baby is born. Donít let her put you down as the father until it is proven yours.

See a lawyer and start divorces proceedings. Tel her to get a job now.

You have only been married for four years, if you wait to long alimony could be for life. Do you really want to support her while she fís every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Get her it sign a postnuptial agreement stating no alimony it she cheats and 50/50 custody of your kid. If she refuses file for divorce because she knows herself that she is going to cheat still.
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Old 14th January 2018, 9:56 AM   #37
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Read No More Mr Nice Guy.

If she is pregnant, get a court ordered dna test when the baby is born. Donít let her put you down as the father until it is proven yours.

See a lawyer and start divorces proceedings. Tel her to get a job now.

You have only been married for four years, if you wait to long alimony could be for life. Do you really want to support her while she fís every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Get her it sign a postnuptial agreement stating no alimony it she cheats and 50/50 custody of your kid. If she refuses file for divorce because she knows herself that she is going to cheat still.
Actually DNA tests are now safe for the pregnant mom and baby
for they are able to use the mother's blood due to some of the
babies blood cells cross over to the mother.
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Old 15th January 2018, 3:28 PM   #38
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Tomas, she doesn't value you because you do not value yourself. She is making a fool out of you because you let her.


Go see a lawyer and file for divorce and sole custody of your kid.
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Old 15th January 2018, 8:37 PM   #39
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So basically you were willing to finance her cheating on you?

No. She married you. Marriage=commitment. She doesn't get to decide whether to give you commitment or not if she still wants to stay married.

File for divorce.
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Old 1st February 2018, 3:25 PM   #40
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toma111

toma111

Every man was a boy once. Every 'alpha' male was a 'beta' male once. You are still a 'beta' male, you have blind spots, there r things u r not perceiving and realising about your relationship and woman that we ( and most men who commented here do ) : to us it was obvious, loud and very clear.

If u r accepting and allowing to the process, u r going through a conversion, beta -> alpha, your idealistic perception of relationship with a woman is crumbling down, ' u r unplugging from the matrix' in a way.

Women genuinely respect, love and r loyal to alphas. You yourself became an alpha for a moment and didn't even realise it (at least your behaviour was alpha ): When u started seeing another woman and told her ( your wife ) that you wouldn't wait for her while she f**ks other guys. What happened when u did that ? Didn't she genuinely respect u as a man. Unfortunately your alpha act was just that, an act, not grounded and rooted in yo character as a man. Her genuine attraction and respect began to fade after she moved in and u began your usual beta behaviour

From the story one would think your wife is such a b***ch, but not really : sooner or later, every woman will test the alphaness in her man / **** tests. This is usually unconscious to a woman, the more u fail the worse the tests become : she tested your loving dominance to stop her tantrums and arguments, but u couldnít. Her cheating is another level of testing u.

Whether u stay with her or not, she or another woman will still cheat on u if u remain a Ďbetaí : the typical guy who gets married and divorced 3 times, cheated on 3 times, until he realises that he doesnít need to change a woman but himself from a beta to an alpha

There is no easy way out, unplugging is a painful process e.g feeling suicidal, denial, anger. But when u r done, u will be a superior version of yourself. A worm to a butterfly. You wonít regret it, but first let her go, do what u fear the most, remember u donít build an alpha on top of a beta, u kill the beta first and gradually build an alpha.

Start here : https://therationalmale.com/category/unplugging/
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