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unique women 21st December 2017 4:22 AM

On the verge to lose my marriage and my wonderful and lovable husband
 
hi,

i have been married to my husband for around two
years.Me ( age -26 years )and My Husband (27 years old) are Currently living in India,we both are from India and both of us belongs to Hindu Community.

We both are software professionals, so sometimes we have to travel outside India for work and business purpose.

My husband lost his virginity to me during our honeymoon post marriage.and prior to my marriage i was in a relationship with two guys, so i was not a virgin.i was hiding this fact to my husband, as my husband is different from me and my previous boyfriends, in a good way, he is honest,caring,always listen to me,during his busy schedule he manage to spend some time with me, and let me tell you my husband is shy and introvert,but when it comes to sex, he is amazing, he performed new psositions and give me the best orgasm and excitement in my sex life.

so after 4 months during our marriage, my husband was suppossed to vist California,United states on a business trip for 1 month.

during those days, i feel lonely and contacted one of my ex boyfriend( who is married ).some how, after 2-3 days,we had sex and both cheated on our partners and my ex boyfriend made video, took our nude pics, and my nude pics and prior to my marriage ,he made several video of ours blow job and handjob, oral sex, and ****ing activities and he gave all those collections of videos( old and new videos and pictures )to me and i saved and copied it on my home PC.

so whenever my Husband is away on a business trip outside India, i used to have sex with my ex boyfriend, once we went to switzerland and Paris
together for two weeks and stayed in the same room and made a video and pics.

So before my 2 year of marriage anniversary, my boyfriend sent some lingerie and sex toys to me and a sex video collection of switzerland and paris in a gift pack ,which was received by my husband ,as i was in a different city for business trip.

So my husband found out everything about me and my ex boyfriend, he checked the PC, where he saw the old videos and other new video made after my marriage.

Husband checked my facebook and instagram profile wher my ex boyfriend was added in contact list.

But my husband was quiet,didnot reacted and acted normally, so he invited my inlaws and mom and dad and he asked my inlaws and my parents and me, there is some surprise and on our TV he showed all those videos and pics to me ,my inlaws and my parents, now

my husband has left the house and not contacted me since that day and tomorrow is our 2nd marriage anniversary.

I know, what i have done thats wrong ,but everyone one do mistake.

My inlaws dont talk to me and my parenst they are upset with me.

so during these days,my ex boyfriend is trying to console me and again we had sex and my ex bf abused my husband and said my husband is a loser and old guy, who dont know how to treat a woman.

i need some suggestions and advice.

Darren Steez 21st December 2017 4:35 AM

Get a divorce so you can have as much sex with your ex as you want.

You say you made a mistake but then you're still having sex, so everyone finding out wasn't enough for you to stop.

If you're not adult enough to say stop and choose a better way then let your husband go so he can rebuild his life.

aliveagain 21st December 2017 5:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unique women (Post 7490993)
hi,

i have been married to my husband for around two
years.
Me ( age -26 years )and My Husband (27 years old) are Currently living in India,we both are from India and both of us belongs to Hindu Community.

We both are software professionals, so sometimes we have to travel outside India for work and business purpose.

My husband lost his virginity to me during our honeymoon post marriage.and prior to my marriage i was in a relationship with two guys, so i was not a virgin.i was hiding this fact to my husband, as my husband is different from me and my previous boyfriends, in a good way, he is honest,caring,always listen to me,during his busy schedule he manage to spend some time with me, and let me tell you my husband is shy and introvert,but when it comes to sex, he is amazing, he performed new psositions and give me the best orgasm and excitement in my sex life.

so after 4 months during our marriage, my husband was suppossed to vist California,United states on a business trip for 1 month.

during those days, i feel lonely and contacted one of my ex boyfriend( who is married ).some how, after 2-3 days,we had sex and both cheated on our partners and my ex boyfriend made video, took our nude pics, and my nude pics and prior to my marriage ,he made several video of ours blow job and handjob, oral sex, and ****ing activities and he gave all those collections of videos( old and new videos and pictures )to me and i saved and copied it on my home PC.

so whenever my Husband is away on a business trip outside India, i used to have sex with my ex boyfriend, once we went to switzerland and Paris
together for two weeks and stayed in the same room and made a video and pics.


So before my 2 year of marriage anniversary, my boyfriend sent some lingerie and sex toys to me and a sex video collection of switzerland and paris in a gift pack ,which was received by my husband ,as i was in a different city for business trip.

So my husband found out everything about me and my ex boyfriend, he checked the PC, where he saw the old videos and other new video made after my marriage.

Husband checked my facebook and instagram profile wher my ex boyfriend was added in contact list.

But my husband was quiet,didnot reacted and acted normally, so he invited my inlaws and mom and dad and he asked my inlaws and my parents and me, there is some surprise and on our TV he showed all those videos and pics to me ,my inlaws and my parents, now

my husband has left the house and not contacted me since that day and tomorrow is our 2nd marriage anniversary.

I know, what i have done thats wrong ,but everyone one do mistake.

My inlaws dont talk to me and my parenst they are upset with me.

so during these days,my ex boyfriend is trying to console me and again we had sex and my ex bf abused my husband and said my husband is a loser and old guy, who dont know how to treat a woman.

i need some suggestions and advice.

Just my opinion but I think your married boyfriend is the looser, your husband isn't the one banging another mans wife, a wife that had only been married 4 months. This is not a mistake, this is a conscious choice you made over and over again. Allowing your lover to video record your infidelity shows how little respect you had for your husband. Why on earth would you keep the proof of your cheating on your computer? Why did you get married if you don't respect marriage boundaries?

I think you need to get some professional help, find out why you need the validation of other men, why your husband isn't enough for you. Please read deepremorse5 posts in the infidelity listings. Perhaps when you see what happened to her it may help you with your situation. I personally don't believe your marriage will survive your reckless behavior based on what you posted. Learn from your bad choices.

unique women 21st December 2017 6:08 AM

Thanks for the reply,

i believe ,i need a professional help,

please don't use any harsh words for my ex boyfriend, he is my first love and first person,to whom i lost my virginity.

Offcourse, i love my husband and i want to work on this marriage.

unique women 21st December 2017 6:14 AM

on the verge to loose my marrigae and my wonderful and lovable husband
 
I will not leave my husband, and will put my effort to make this marriage work.

unique women 21st December 2017 6:23 AM

Thanks for the reply,

i believe ,i need a professional help,

please don't use any harsh words for my ex boyfriend, he is my first love and first person,to whom i lost my virginity.

Offcourse, i love my husband and i want to work on this marriage.

aliveagain 21st December 2017 6:40 AM

Sorry but I was only quoting the words your boyfriend used against your husband. Why do you defend him and not your husband? There is a huge difference between your husband and the man you cheated on him with. Most men will find it very hard to reconcile after seeing their wife on a video made by her affair partner, he will never get those images out of his mind. You have been deceiving your husband about many things including your virginity. The statistics of marriages surviving infidelity when infidelity happens early in the marriage is very, very low specially if there are no children. My suggestion to you is to work on yourself, get the best professional help you can so something like this never happens again. I really hope I am wrong but I just don't see your marriage surviving this. I don't think the decision will be yours to make regarding divorce, you already showed your husband where you stand.

wmacbride 21st December 2017 9:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unique women (Post 7491018)
I will not leave my husband, and will put my effort to make this marriage work.



Please read this and really think about it. You don't care about him, as if you did , you would never, ever find a kind word to say about a man who was so willing to hurt your husband.

The same goes for you.

Look, you aren't some sort of monster, you are a human being. Like all human beings have done at one time or another, you have made some bad choices. These are not "mistakes". This is an ongoing pattern of behavior.

This man you keep protecting is little more than a snake in the grass, and it doesn't matter what culture he's from. He's got all the casual sex he wants with none of the "extras" that usually go with it. Of course he's going to keep watering that garden!

As for you, well, I don't know Hindu culture very well, but as it stands right now, it doesn't sound like either you or your husband is very happy. If you feel like you have to stay married, then you and your husband need to sit down and have a very honest and frank discussion. It doesn't sound like you are capable of being loyal to him when it comes to sex. You feel entitled to your "first love". Pretending you feel differently won't help you.

Who knows? It could be your husband also is interested in sex outside your marriage. If he is, then maybe you two can have a marriage that's more of a "friendship" than romance. If you both agree, and you are honest about it and set the parameters together, it might work.

unique women 21st December 2017 9:12 AM

Thanks for the suggestion and already made an appointment with Individual Counsellor and marriage counsellor and I love my husband more than anyone, when it comes to my husband I won't even tolerate or defend my ex-boyfriend.

Update. My husband has blocked me from his phone, email id, Facebook, Instagram, I am not able to contact him, I just want to talk to him,
I have gone to my in laws house, they are not responding.
I have tried contacting my husband colleague and his friends, nothing seems to work out.


I am alone going to my office and coming back to my home, I miss my husband very much,
Canít describe in words how much I miss my husband.
Tomorrow is our 2nd year of marriage anniversary, donít know how and with whom to celebrate.

JuneL 21st December 2017 9:22 AM

I'm not sure what the issue here is exactly. You like to have sex with your ex and take videos/pictures of those acts; you continued to do those things even after your husband found out. Now you can keep doing that without having to hide.

BarbedFenceRider 21st December 2017 9:50 AM

Sounds like your husband is probably being coached on surviving YOUR infidelity. Tough breaks. Unfortunately, that ship has left port. You just need to spend time growing up and owning your sh_t.

You are not mature enough to understand fidelity and trust. You lack self control. As well as an appreciation for self respect.(videos and pics) These things are detrimental to your well-being in the long run and your ex knows this. You are not a safe partner.

My suggestion is that you need to ride the cock carousel and use up your marketplace value so at least someone else gets to enjoy the "best" years of you.

Later on, when you finally mature and feel the pressure of age and other things start in on you. You can hopefully find a somewhat decent guy to spend your life with that won't mind your baggage.

I'm sorry that this post sounds harsh but there is no silver lining. If you think your husband will come back, by all means throw caution to the wind. But don't be surprised when he doesn't and you end up wasting valuable time being even more miserable. Just don't make him worse. He doesn't deserve that. You ruined his heart. And you expect him to get a used up seconds in a wife with worn out parts? That's just sad....

Betrayed&Stayed 21st December 2017 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unique women (Post 7491016)
... I want to work on this marriage.

Your marriage is dead. There is nothing to work on.

GoldenR 21st December 2017 10:32 AM

"Everyone makes mistakes".

You didn't make a mistake. You made a lifestyle choice to betray your husband for a very long time. I would say that you're only sorry that you got caught, but even that isn't true because you're still having sex with your boyfriend! How can you say that you want to fix things with your H when you're still having sex with the other guy?

You don't love your husband. I don't think you even like him. You have no respect for him or for yourself.

Divorce him. Don't get married again until you've had a ton of therapy.

What_Did_I_Do 21st December 2017 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unique women (Post 7491079)
Thanks for the suggestion and already made an appointment with Individual Counsellor and marriage counsellor and I love my husband more than anyone, when it comes to my husband I won't even tolerate or defend my ex-boyfriend.

Update. My husband has blocked me from his phone, email id, Facebook, Instagram, I am not able to contact him, I just want to talk to him,
I have gone to my in laws house, they are not responding.
I have tried contacting my husband colleague and his friends, nothing seems to work out.


I am alone going to my office and coming back to my home, I miss my husband very much,
Canít describe in words how much I miss my husband.
Tomorrow is our 2nd year of marriage anniversary, donít know how and with whom to celebrate.

Well, quite frankly, you will 'celebrating' solo. Infidelity has a way of causing unfortunate circumstances. OP, use this time to re-evaluate your past choices. I'm still befuddled as to why people are shocked and surprised when their home porn videos suddenly appear somewhere in social media...especially done in extra marital relationships (shakes head). In any event, leave your H alone. He needs to heal and put back the pieces of his broken heart.

elaine567 21st December 2017 12:05 PM

I do not think you could have done much more to guarantee that your husband never ever wants talk to you ever again, save perhaps murdering his mother or burning his house to the ground.


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