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Just found out my gf of almost 4 years wants to sleep with her boss


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 1st February 2018, 6:09 PM   #61
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Glad you talked but what you have related has nothing to do with her internet searches.
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Old 1st February 2018, 6:52 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by Robbierob View Post
So had a long, long chat.

Took a long while but ive finally discovered it was a lot deeper than i knew. Im 100% sure there was no affair happening. Well not physical at least.

But turns out her boss had most of it planned from day one. There was a lot of bullying happening inside the workplace, sexual harrassment ect... i wont go into too many details but my SO was basically trapped by her boss in a situation she didnt know how to get out of and she was worried about my reaction.

Weve taken it to the relevant channels, and im sure if she was really pushing for it or at least was into it at the time. she wouldnt have brought it up to those higher than her boss.

Thing is... i still kind of have a bit of resentment towards her.
Have her take a polygraph - she may not be as innocent as you want to believe.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 6:23 AM   #63
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The ole damsel in destress act to cover her inappropriate behavior. Oh, man guys still fall for this one.

Oddly she never thought to discuss this with you until AFTER you were suspicious.
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Old 2nd February 2018, 12:38 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by Robbierob View Post
So had a long, long chat.

Took a long while but ive finally discovered it was a lot deeper than i knew. Im 100% sure there was no affair happening. Well not physical at least.

But turns out her boss had most of it planned from day one. There was a lot of bullying happening inside the workplace, sexual harrassment ect... i wont go into too many details but my SO was basically trapped by her boss in a situation she didnt know how to get out of and she was worried about my reaction.

Weve taken it to the relevant channels, and im sure if she was really pushing for it or at least was into it at the time. she wouldnt have brought it up to those higher than her boss.

Thing is... i still kind of have a bit of resentment towards her.
Combine your update with your post number 28, how does it smell to you? Combine that with her Google Searches, "I want to sleep with my boss, monogamy, My boss wants to sleep with me" can you make sense of it? She didn't Google anything about being bullied or trapped into sleeping with him. If it's not about the money why did she choose to withhold this information from you? Why would she choose to share personal information with him rather than with you her partner? Why does someone confide with the person who is bullying her, refer to him as her best friend and consider sleeping with him(we don't know if she did or didn't but I would bet some other forms of intimacy may have already occurred, kissing, touching)rather then leave her job if it's not again about the money?

Clearly, this man was taking your place and she allowed it to happen. She could have shut it down with one word(regardless of what he planned), "No." I would hold off on asking her to marry you until you have all the truth. Do you honestly think you have all the truth?

Last edited by aliveagain; 2nd February 2018 at 12:49 PM..
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Old 2nd February 2018, 12:51 PM   #65
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Thank you AA...

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Originally Posted by aliveagain View Post
Combine your update with your post number 28, how does it smell to you? Combine that with her Google Searches, "I want to sleep with my boss, monogamy, My boss wants to sleep with me" can you make sense of it? She didn't Google anything about being bullied or trapped into sleeping with him. If it's not about the money why did she choose to withhold this information from you? Why would she choose to share personal information with him rather than with you her partner? Why does someone confide with the person who is bullying her, refer to him as her best friend and consider sleeping with him(we don't know if she did or didn't but I would bet some other forms of intimacy may have already occurred, kissing, touching)rather then leave her job if it's not again about the money?

Clearly, this man was taking your place and she allowed it to happen. She could have shut it down with one word(regardless of what he planned), "No." I would hold off on asking her to marry you until you have all the truth. Do you honestly think you have all the truth?
Thank you AA...

If he does not understand that one, he just cannot understand.
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Old 5th February 2018, 11:43 PM   #66
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"
Maybe she is feeling trapped, maybe a boss is making sexual advances, sleep with him or commit suicide? You know she has anxiety issues.
it is a plausible idea. He is hitting on her every day, she needs the job, and is afraid of losing it. but is afraid of losing you.

I would say be super supportive of her and gently ask her what is going on. She will either tell you of sexual harassment at work, OR her newflound love for her boss, and then you can formulate a real plan
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Old 6th February 2018, 12:04 AM   #67
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Hi Folks, I would say she is a GF for a reason. She is not OP's wife nor is she his fiancee, just a GF. While the relationship they have may be a committed one, the one big take away from this incident is that the OP's GF cannot be trusted in situations which demand her complete commitment to the OP. If after four years she is still not sure of her relationship with the OP then it bodes ill for any future relationship cemented with rings and vows. One does'nt need to catch someone in bed with their lover to know they are cheating. All the proof is already with the OP. It is his call now as to whether he wants to cook his goose or not. Best wishes.
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Old 6th February 2018, 3:01 AM   #68
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Hi Folks, I would say she is a GF for a reason. She is not OP's wife nor is she his fiancee, just a GF. While the relationship they have may be a committed one, the one big take away from this incident is that the OP's GF cannot be trusted in situations which demand her complete commitment to the OP. If after four years she is still not sure of her relationship with the OP then it bodes ill for any future relationship cemented with rings and vows. One does'nt need to catch someone in bed with their lover to know they are cheating. All the proof is already with the OP. It is his call now as to whether he wants to cook his goose or not. Best wishes.
I think you'll find said goose is being ladled with juices, seasoned and about to be put back into the oven.
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Old 18th February 2018, 4:47 AM   #69
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Hi Robbie,, so where are you with figuring out what you want? Has your GF given any explanation for what she has been doing and how she has been feeling? Has she communicated any sense of remorse for her desire to sleep with her boss or is she completely unruffled by the discovery on your part that she wanted this? How have you been coming to terms with this situation that is staring you in the face? What, if any, have been the consequences for her? There are a lot of questions that need to be addressed if you want to do so. Whatever you may be thinking, unless these issues are addressed head on they are not going to die down or go away on their own. You may like to withdraw the tag of GF from her and treat her like just some other woman with whom you have no romantic links. Warm wishes.
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Old 19th February 2018, 1:30 AM   #70
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It's looking like Robbie would just prefer to rugsweep this whole thing and go back to business as usual.
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