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Having an affair w/ a MW


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Old 30th January 2018, 1:35 PM   #151
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W showed me he message because she was mad at ow for something entirely non related. No suspicion. No burner phone. We text all the time from morning till bed time when we can.
I just don't get how the two of you can look your wife in the face and pretend to care about her, love her ( in your case) or be her friend ( in your ow case).

Doesn't that make you pause for thought, at least a little bit? How can you both be this deceitful and still feel good about it?
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Old 30th January 2018, 2:06 PM   #152
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W showed me he message because she was mad at ow for something entirely non related. No suspicion. No burner phone. We text all the time from morning till bed time when we can.
Wait, I thought you ended this?

I guess you've back off wanting her to think of an excuse not to attend the party, then?

Are you Facebook friends again?
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Old 30th January 2018, 3:04 PM   #153
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I did end it and then it started again. We are texting a lot once again and have plans to meet like in the morning. Dumb I know but canít seem to find the will power to not to. OW will be at the party Sunday and her family. We are all still friends at the moment.
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Old 30th January 2018, 3:07 PM   #154
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Not Facebook friends either. Normally I would friend her again but I have not this time. I donít feel the need to and donít want to right now. Iím at a better place now in terms of ending it believe it or not. I find I donít think about her all the time and want to do fun things again with my family and myself. Things I havenít wanted to do for the last couple of years. I view that as a good sign. I donít view what Iím doing as good though.
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Old 30th January 2018, 3:15 PM   #155
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I just don't get how the two of you can look your wife in the face and pretend to care about her, love her ( in your case) or be her friend ( in your ow case).

Doesn't that make you pause for thought, at least a little bit? How can you both be this deceitful and still feel good about it?
Iím friends with her husband. Of course we have justified what we are doing with each other by saying ours is different and blah blah blah. It did bother me for the first few months. I ended it several times telling her I couldnít do this to her husband. That it was wrong and I felt horrible about doing what we were doing to him and my W. She understood and felt the same about my W. But then we would text each other and start flirting again and then here we are going in 4 years later. I wasnít as into in the beginning and now she isnít as into it as before but yet she still keeps wanting to see me even when Iíve stopped it and have been incredibly mean to her trying to make her not like me and never want to talk to me again. It hasnít worked. She keeps coming back and still wanting to talk and then eventually agreeing that she still wants to see me. She said I was her best friend and didnít want to give that up what ever that means. She isnít a stalker or over bearing or anything like that. Deep down Iím sure she wants to stop as well but for some reason she doesnít want to stop even though she was the one who ended it last time.
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Old 30th January 2018, 3:33 PM   #156
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Iím friends with her husband. Of course we have justified what we are doing with each other by saying ours is different and blah blah blah. It did bother me for the first few months. I ended it several times telling her I couldnít do this to her husband. That it was wrong and I felt horrible about doing what we were doing to him and my W. She understood and felt the same about my W. But then we would text each other and start flirting again and then here we are going in 4 years later. I wasnít as into in the beginning and now she isnít as into it as before but yet she still keeps wanting to see me even when Iíve stopped it and have been incredibly mean to her trying to make her not like me and never want to talk to me again. It hasnít worked. She keeps coming back and still wanting to talk and then eventually agreeing that she still wants to see me. She said I was her best friend and didnít want to give that up what ever that means. She isnít a stalker or over bearing or anything like that. Deep down Iím sure she wants to stop as well but for some reason she doesnít want to stop even though she was the one who ended it last time.
This will end badly. Maybe it's time to ask your wife for a divorce? At least give her a chance to find a good husband.
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Old 30th January 2018, 3:50 PM   #157
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This will end badly. Maybe it's time to ask your wife for a divorce? At least give her a chance to find a good husband.
Yeah, I agree. I really thought you were sincere when you said you were stopping it, committed to your marriage. I think it's time to just divorce and let your wife find someone who cherishes her the way she deserves.
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Old 30th January 2018, 5:15 PM   #158
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Yeah, I agree. I really thought you were sincere when you said you were stopping it, committed to your marriage. I think it's time to just divorce and let your wife find someone who cherishes her the way she deserves.
exactly. this has been going on for years and robbing his wife ( and the op's husband ) of the opportunity to have a full and loving relationship with someone who really cares.

I'm sure the op thinks he does care about his wife, but you don't treat someone you car about with this level of disrespect. You don't continue, day after day, to make plans to disrespect someone, and them blame them when your marriage isn't what you want it to be.

In the end, a person has to live with themselves, and in the op's shoes, I would really wonder how and why I could be okay with this sort of extended deception. What would that say about me, as a person?
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Old 30th January 2018, 5:39 PM   #159
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exactly. this has been going on for years and robbing his wife ( and the op's husband ) of the opportunity to have a full and loving relationship with someone who really cares.

I'm sure the op thinks he does care about his wife, but you don't treat someone you car about with this level of disrespect. You don't continue, day after day, to make plans to disrespect someone, and them blame them when your marriage isn't what you want it to be.

In the end, a person has to live with themselves, and in the op's shoes, I would really wonder how and why I could be okay with this sort of extended deception. What would that say about me, as a person?
That you had a super-human ability to handle stress, I would imagine! (Seriously, I can't imagine how stressful it would be to constantly be on guard to keep stories straight).
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Old 31st January 2018, 4:35 AM   #160
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W showed me he message because she was mad at ow for something entirely non related. No suspicion. No burner phone. We text all the time from morning till bed time when we can.
You text the OW all day on your regular phone? And youíve been doing this texting off and on for four years? Sorry, but I think your wife knows. She knows and does nothing because sheís also having an affair or sheís staying until the kids are grown because she needs the money you contribute to the household.

How do your kids not see you on the phone all day and ask what youíre doing and who youíre texting? Are you taking your phone with you everywhere you go in the house? You admit that youíre distracted and distant from your wife and kids. Add all that together and itís enough for most people to get suspicious. And you probably wonít let your wife or kids borrow/use your phone either which is another red flag. If your wife isnít in denial, she knows something is going on. She may not know who youíre having an affair with, but she probably knows that youíre cheating. And after four years she may not even care anymore.

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So she contacted my wife one night telling her how beautiful she looked. I heard about it and texted ow why she was texting her.
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W showed me he message because she was mad at ow for something entirely non related.
Mad that the OW called her beautiful? Somethingís not adding up. I think your wife is trying to gauge your feelings about the OW to see if thatís who youíre cheating with.

How do you act around the OW when her husband and your wife are around?
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