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Dealing with the Ex and her AP turned Hubby


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 20th September 2017, 11:50 PM   #76
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Hi Striver and Singledad, guess your situations are extremely unpalatable and yet life has handed you this lemon. If it is any consolation to you just remember we come into this life to learn lessons which really speaking, are of our own choosing. If you ever happen to read the life story of Sylvia Browne, the great American psychic, you will get a greater insight into what the whole business of life is all about. I do not want to go into detail about it here but if you do happen to read her story you will find it very illuminating especially as it applies to your own situation. Warm wishes.
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Old 16th October 2017, 1:05 PM   #77
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The most difficult part to stomach is thinking about how much time I was robbed of with my kids because of someone else's selfishness. On top of that, her affair partner turned husband sees my kids more than I do as a result of that.

Living in two different counties made things better for the kids to not have to live out of a backpack every day and me driving them to school 1.5 hours every morning just wasn't an option with my employer.

These are days I'll never get back with them. So, I belly the ***** sandwich that's served to me and just think about how I'm doing it to make their lives easier. I just wish some times the Karma train would hurry up and pay them a visit for their blatant disregard for any of the lives tangled up in this.. But that's not a healthy was to live life either.
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Old 16th October 2017, 1:32 PM   #78
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The most difficult part to stomach is thinking about how much time I was robbed of with my kids because of someone else's selfishness. On top of that, her affair partner turned husband sees my kids more than I do as a result of that.

Living in two different counties made things better for the kids to not have to live out of a backpack every day and me driving them to school 1.5 hours every morning just wasn't an option with my employer.

These are days I'll never get back with them. So, I belly the ***** sandwich that's served to me and just think about how I'm doing it to make their lives easier. I just wish some times the Karma train would hurry up and pay them a visit for their blatant disregard for any of the lives tangled up in this.. But that's not a healthy was to live life either.
As a fellow Christian man who doesn't always think the Christian way...if I was in your shoes I would hope she met her maker and judger soon and then the kids would be back with me. Of course, I am the most loyal guy in the world but if someone messes with me I am very vindictive. And I don't feel like changing.
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Old 17th October 2017, 9:06 AM   #79
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As a fellow Christian man who doesn't always think the Christian way...if I was in your shoes I would hope she met her maker and judger soon and then the kids would be back with me. Of course, I am the most loyal guy in the world but if someone messes with me I am very vindictive. And I don't feel like changing.
I would never wish for physical harm on the mother of my children. But it doesn't mean the pain of not having my kids in my life as much as I wanted in life doesn't make me really dislike her. She's not a good person. But that's her burden to carry. It just sucks living with the fact that she served up turd sandwiches while shes casually just waltzes through like destroying people's lives with her affair partner and acts like shes in a "healthy" relationship... it's nonsense and makes me want to gag.
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Old 17th October 2017, 9:19 AM   #80
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I would never wish for physical harm on the mother of my children. But it doesn't mean the pain of not having my kids in my life as much as I wanted in life doesn't make me really dislike her. She's not a good person. But that's her burden to carry. It just sucks living with the fact that she served up turd sandwiches while shes casually just waltzes through like destroying people's lives with her affair partner and acts like shes in a "healthy" relationship... it's nonsense and makes me want to gag.
What does your kids know about the affair and
the OM?
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Old 17th October 2017, 9:42 AM   #81
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op,
I know it's hard, but think of it as you are doing what you do for your kids.
One day, even if it doesn't feel like it now, your decision to be the bigger person here will pay off for you.
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Old 13th March 2018, 3:58 PM   #82
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Did she ever give you an apology for what she did to you?
No.. not ever. She has, thus far, acted as if she’s been married to him the entire time. I’ve watched her move on with her life like the 13 years and 2 kids we brought into this world together meant nothing. She’s , since marrying him in Feb, already had a kid with him. It’s very odd to me and somewhat makes me feel like those life events are common.. and cheap. So easily recreated. Not having someone in my life like that doesn’t bother me.. how she’s so nonchalant absolutely it it does. As far as the OM goes, he wants to act like we are buddies.. unreal
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Old 13th March 2018, 4:23 PM   #83
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Since she just had a new baby - maybe it's a good time to ask for full time custody of your kids?
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Old 13th March 2018, 5:11 PM   #84
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As far as the OM goes, he wants to act like we are buddies.. unreal

My XWW's OM does that as well. It's weird, isn't it?
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Old 13th March 2018, 5:40 PM   #85
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What he did to her, he may do to you. Would you be so understanding if/when you become the wife that gets cheated on, dumped and lose primary custody of YOUR child? It is so easy for those who inflict the pain. Not so good when you are the inflicted.

You may want to tread carefully also, Miss Margarita.
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Old 13th March 2018, 5:56 PM   #86
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Cheaters tend to live in their own bubble and want to play happy families afterwards in this scenario.

I'd have no desire to have any kind of conversation if my husband ended up with his OW. She can go to blazes (If she existed) as far as I'm concerned.
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Old 13th March 2018, 6:59 PM   #87
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As I read the post, it's not that she 'expects' the BS to be okay with it, so much as that being 'meh' would make the BS healthier and happier in the long run than clinging to thoughts of revenge and karma.

Of course it's not easy to get past someone who's caused you so much pain!

Still, it's also not healthy to play along with an OM/OW who wants to be "buddies". That's usually a sign that they're massively insecure and hoping to use you to shore up their own emotional stability.

Freeze them out. Brush them off. Turn away. Give them nothing, no reaction at all, until they go away.
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Old 13th March 2018, 9:02 PM   #88
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Unfortunately, you have pointed out what your good husband's X is experiencing. Interesting additional information.

You and your H cheated and left your spouse. Obviously devastating for her. You have a child with your now H and he decides to leave you and go back to the wife. With your child. She not only welcomes him back, but the affair child also. After a short while, he says NEVER MIND and goes back to you, devestating her again. He then proceeds to take primary custody of her children.

And you don't understand why she feels that way?

Of course you don't. Which is exactly why you posted your story on a thread of a hurting BS.
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Old 13th March 2018, 9:03 PM   #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lavender Margarita
...so if you want specifics on my situation...
RedHeaded Mistress - is that you, girl...? your story sounds WAY too familiar - even with the slightly changed details. can't be a coincidence.

Quote:
...giving us more custody as the judge felt too much time back-and-forth unfairly denied my husband time with our child and his kids with their sibling.
ha...? but... awarding the 60/40 time to your husband UNFAIRLY denied the mother the time with her children - also, pushing the kids into the new and the unknown under the pretense of bonding with sibling is... strange, to put it mildly. what drugs was that judge on?
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Old 13th March 2018, 9:10 PM   #90
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The way the cards got dealt it is easy for you to act mature. You were not given the manure end of the stick to hold.
this - pretty much. the OWs turned wives have one thing in common: superiority complex... there are exceptions, of course.i actually understood the X WELL - the part when Lavender Margarita said that the X complained about them being cordial to her - theOW+MM often use the CORDIAL approach as a way to subtly provoke, poke and remind the X that they have WON. there is nothing cordial about wanting to feel superior over someone, not to mention that being cordial to someone you claim to LOATHE is absurd. very rarely are the xOW+MM/xOM+MW TRULY cordial.

8 or 10 years later & she's STILL on the Forums, discussing the X. amazing.

Last edited by minimariah; 13th March 2018 at 9:19 PM..
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