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Married men NEVER actually leave their wives..NEVER!!


StrawberryGirl

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StrawberryGirl

Okay I have come across alot of discussions on the subject of married men actually leaving their wives or vice versa, so I decided to post a little story that is true!!

 

My uncle cheated on my aunt about 24 yrs ago when i was about 5. It was a continuous affair in which the lady was after my uncle while married to my aunt (my mom's sister). So my uncle dated the lady and my aunt eventually found out. She was devastated she was literally deppressed and it was so stressful that my cousin who is their daughter of course, who was 5 months pregnant lost her baby due to all the stress from her father's affair. Well my uncle and aunt divorced. He married the other woman. Soooo here we are 24 year's later, my uncle is still married to that other woman, however through the 24 years and TO THIS DAY, who does my uncle cheat on his other woman (wife now) with???? MY AUNT!!

 

Yes MY AUNT, My aunt who once was the wife being cheated on is now THE OTHER WOMAN! She says my uncle is just a dog but still she let's him have his cake and eat it too. He still give's her money and he still buys her things! It is totally hard to believe but this is a classic case of MEN NEVER ACTUALLY LEAVE THEIR WIVES!!!

 

My father also cheated on my mom but she said "oh hell no" and she left and never looked back but to this day my dad love's her i know he does and my mom love's him..I can tell, and if given the chance my dad would go back to my mom but she was strong and never let him return and to this day I know she was his #1..He tells me this! When I started seeing the married man I was with, everyone said " he will go back to his wife, he will go back to his wife" everyone know's this is how it goes. I think there are more cases of married men going back, than married women who cheat going back to their husbands because.....men are weak and that is why they run back to their wive's. They don't have the strength to move on is what it is.

 

So moral of the story.....Married men never leave and if they do they actually don't!!!!!!!!!

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Originally posted by StrawberryGirl

It is totally hard to believe but this is a classic case of MEN NEVER ACTUALLY LEAVE THEIR WIVES!!!

 

So moral of the story.....Married men never leave and if they do they actually don't!!!!!!!!!

 

You are essentially correct STRAWBERRYGURL. They usually don't leave on their own accord. If I was married and having an affair on the side why would I leave my wife? I've already got the best of both worlds.

 

And statistics point this out. If hubby starts to screw around then his wife does one of two things: 1) decides to keep him and repair the marriage, or 2) decides to divorce him and split. Either way it is the wife making the decision, hubby usually wants to maintain the status quo.

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Strawberry,

 

It's clear you want to find a way for cheating to be ok because it'll result in what yuo want, some guy to string you along since THEY ALL DO IT.

 

You know, when in Rome, is not true.

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StrawberryGirl

Not at all MICHAELANGELO

 

I know cheating is not ok and this post is not for me! It is for all those people out there who's post I have come across that are certain their is the chance that married men will leave their wives or who are questioning if married men will leave. They never do and my aunt and uncle are classic examples of this. They are also not the only one's who have a story like this, I know many more couples where things like this happen..For some reason married men go back!

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There are no absolutes in relationships. For every case you have to prove there are just as many to disprove it.

 

While I'll agree that there are some women that would benefit from the realization that their OM won't leave the relationship, I hardly think that your aunt and uncle should be the poster child for the final outcome of every married man that has an affair.

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Pocky I think she was just using her Aunt & Uncle as an example of how a wife/husband doesn't 'truly' leave the relationship for the other person.

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Originally posted by Pocky

While I'll agree that there are some women that would benefit from the realization that their OM won't leave the relationship, I hardly think that your aunt and uncle should be the poster child for the final outcome of every married man that has an affair.

 

the original poster is basically correct. I would disagree that the men NEVER leave their wives, some do, but the percentage is very very small. If a married couple splits up due to the man having an affair almost always it is his wife who leaves him. Sure there are exceptions but basically that is how it works.

 

Please explain POCKY, why would a married dude having an affair leave his wife if the wife is putting up with it?

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Originally posted by jmargel

Pocky I think she was just using her Aunt & Uncle as an example of how a wife/husband doesn't 'truly' leave the relationship for the other person.

 

She can use it as an example as she wants. The problem that I have is the way in which she approaches the subject and presents her ideas. She uses one example as a testament that all married men that have an affair never leave their wife. I can't be the only one that thinks this is absurd. You can't take one example and proclaim that everyone else in this situation will respond the exact same way. There is no moral to this story. It's simply a story of a man that cheated on his wife, divorced her, remarried and then cheated on his new wife with his ex-wife.

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Originally posted by alphamale

the original poster is basically correct. I would disagree that the men NEVER leave their wives, some do, but the percentage is very very small. If a married couple splits up due to the man having an affair almost always it is his wife who leaves him. Sure there are exceptions but basically that is how it works.

 

Please explain POCKY, why would a married dude having an affair leave his wife if the wife is putting up with it?

 

The original poster is basically corrected but you disagree with her that men never leave their wives, but the percentage is very small. Okay - let's take a moment and just read it again.

 

Did you read it again?

 

The post claims that men never leave their wives. You agree

The post claims that men never leave their wives. You disagree.

 

You can't have both. My issue, which I restate, is that the original posts speaks in absolutes and approaches the subject in a manner that suggest there are no alternate outcomes to affairs committed by married men. Almost always is not always. Never, and almost all never, but a few, isn't never.

 

Why would a married man having an affair leave his wife? How about because he doesn't love her anymore and doesn't want to be with her. Or maybe the OW demands he leaves or he'd lose her. Or maybe he leaves both of them because he doesn't like either one. There are so many different variables to this question.

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StrawberryGirl
While in your world the relationship between your aunt and uncle may seem to be an example for all marriages/affairs it really is insignificant in the world of relationships.

 

POCKY this forum is not about relationships it is about INFIDELITY and I am just giving a very good example of what happens with married men who cheat, like another post I read the girl was happy that her MM finally left his wife and is with her. Well supposedly my uncle did the same thing but really he didn't! He just twisted the roles around so in reality he never left the "wife". What I mean by they NEVER leave is somehow there is always a connection even if they do leave. like me and alphamale believe it is the women who do the true splitting up!

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Originally posted by Pocky

Or maybe the OW demands he leaves or he'd lose her. Or maybe he leaves both of them because he doesn't like either one. There are so many different variables to this question.

 

Well POCKY much of this is semantics, NEVER, ALMOST NEVER, who cares.

 

Mosst men who are in affairs know that once they leave their wives the OW will totally lose interest in them.

 

THe OW is an OW becuase of a reason and is attracted to the MM cause of certain reasons. Once the MM becomes available 100% to the OW then the OW splits and finds another MM to f***k around with.

 

This is why many MM don't leave their wives.

 

What, you think men are dumb? Come on, give us more credit.

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Married men do leave their wives - mine left me!! And as you know of many married men who did not leave their wives, I know lots of couples where the husband did leave for OW.....and NEVER looked back.

 

Ow didn't lose interest in my H once he was free either - they are still together and after three years and verrrrrrrrrry happy too!

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StrawberryGirl

Yes Sharmain but what is the real situation? did he cheat on you and you be strong and give him the boot or did he say look sharmain i'm outta here and leave? do you have kids?? When you don't have kids it is a lot easier for them to let go!

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Originally posted by StrawberryGirl

Yes Sharmain but what is the real situation? did he cheat on you and you be strong and give him the boot or did he say look sharmain i'm outta here and leave? do you have kids?? When you don't have kids it is a lot easier for them to let go!

 

He walked out on me and chose to be with OW. I didn't get a say nor a choice in the matter. Didn't even have a clue he was having an affair, it had only been going on for three months. We were married 10 years btw. Yes, we do have a child.........a daughter who was aged just seven years old at the time......our *only* child. So it aint always hard for them to walk out on their kids either.........sure as hell wasnt hard for him to do anyway.

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Now, to get back to the point, my grandpa cheated on my grandma while they were married. She divorced him, and he began a relationship with the OW that lasted many, many years until the day he died. However, he never married her, never gave her children, didn't leave anything for her in his will, and always professed love for my grandma. So even though he was technically with the OW, his love was still for his ex-wife.

 

It goes back to the whole "The grass isn't always greener..." saying, don'tcha know.

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StrawberryGirl

The post reads

Married men never actually leave their wives..never

 

And this quote is whole heartedly true. I gave two examples of this. My aunt and uncle and my mom and dad. Take into consider the actually I used, my dad has never actually left, his heart is still with my mom, he had no choice to move on she would not allow him back. With my aunt he does literally come back because she allows it to happen. So in both cases they are not actually gone from their wives. Don't forget that I also said @ the end of my post...that if men do leave they actually don't (so I acknowledged that some men do leave), wether in heart or physical being, they still are there- just like sadandlonely's grandpa was. for some reason it's a tie to their wive's most married men can't undo.

 

I never said this is the case for every MM but it is more so than not. The men almost always go back if the wife allow's them to.

 

Pocky in the future don't get so uptight about post titles!

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i know 4 MMs who have left their wives for their OWs. 2 are married to them now, one is still dating her (i think it's been about 5-6 years now) and the 4th is living with his OW (over 3 years now). 3 of them i know left on their own, they were the ones who asked for the divorce and got out. the 4th may have but i'm not sure.... i know his wife kicked him out but i'm not sure if he had already asked for the divorce or not.

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portableversion

WEll Pocky I quickly read through all this and have to say that she did say that this was her experience in watching others around her.

I grant you it is difficult to create unversal truths from this but in her Local community and her limited experience this would hold true.

She was positing more than one example. This is all she has seen. She mentioned she has seen this many times(which is tragic).

At best strawberry has an argument which could be strong in her geographic area but it is not necessarily so. Where ever strawberry lives this could be the cultural norm.

But Strawberry, I am certain, and the other posts do prove this, the dude will and can leave.

As you continue through life, keep your eyes open as you notice other couples go down in flames, you'll see plenty of both.

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StrawberryGirl
Where ever strawberry lives this could be the cultural norm.

 

 

True True True! Thank's for your point of view Portable version.Yes it is tragic that I have seen this so much and it is also true that maybe it is just something that has to do with where I live. I live in a big california city. :o

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Originally posted by StrawberryGirl

 

...that if men do leave they actually don't (so I acknowledged that some men do leave), wether in heart or physical being, they still are there- just like sadandlonely's grandpa was. for some reason it's a tie to their wive's most married men can't undo.

 

 

The only thing that ties a married man (who has left for the OW) to his ex wife, may be the kids they share........true in my case anyway! If we didn't have a daughter, he would never have looked back, I would never have seen him anymore. Because we have a daughter, we have no other option but to still have contact and he's likely someone that will remain in our lives for a long time to come, least until our daughter is old enough to leave home, perhaps get married herself.

 

You said that my case was rare.....it isn't!! My dad left my mum and four kids to be with OW, he's now been with OW for over 25 years. I know of lots and lots of couples who have seperated and have never looked back, cept for the kids if there are any. A look around any infidelity forum on the WWW, reveals a lot of grieving LBS's of whose H's have walked out on them and their kids for OW and who remain with OW.

 

It is supposedly said that all married men who leave their wives, come to regret their decision over time and eventually, I don't believe this is true in all cases. Each situation is different.

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Why is it that so many people see their point of view as defining a universal truth? The only reason that society and those that comprise it are as immoral, decadent, self-righteous, and war-like is that everyone defines their own reality. Our perception is what defines reality for each one of us.

 

Every individual has experienced a multitude of different events in their lives. Even if two people experience the same thing, it could very well be that each will take away an entirely different perception of the experience.

 

Statistical averages, societal trends, the concept of inherent humant traits... its all part of a flawed theory. The idea that we can predict someone's actions is simply not possible. A man who has a long history of abuse and neglect suddenly becomes attentive and caring in the extreme. A woman with a long history of infidelity or promiscuity suddenly devotes herself to one man completely. (Those roles could reversed... Im not implying anything against either sex specifically, just humanity as a whole.)

 

Just my early morning rant against society...

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Originally posted by StrawberryGirl

When I started seeing the married man I was with, everyone said " he will go back to his wife, he will go back to his wife" everyone know's this is how it goes. I think there are more cases of married men going back, than married women who cheat going back to their husbands because.....men are weak and that is why they run back to their wive's. They don't have the strength to move on is what it is.

 

So moral of the story.....Married men never leave and if they do they actually don't!!!!!!!!!

 

So glad to see you learned from your family's mistakes.. :rolleyes:

 

 

 

/felt a bit snarky.. ;)

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StrawberryGirl
So glad to see you learned from your family's mistakes

 

It was a mistake, It was a bad decision and is the way of life they chose to live and your right, I did not learn from it, but it made me AWARE of what happens in these type of circumstances, so when I got involved w/ a MM, From the beginning I was AWARE of the consequences of dating a MM, but I didn't care about the consequence, I admit I didn't care about how his wife was hurting, I went along with the affair, I was selfish, and I knew someday it would end and he would go back just like everyone said and just like I already knew from my own families and friends experience's. I feel bad about my decision now, why because now when I come across forums where I see soo many people hurting, peole like OWL, it makes me feel bad and by posting this forum I now know to warn people as much as I can. Maybe what I say will make people AWARE and rethink their decision to get involved w/ a MM.....

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  • 10 months later...
Never look back

I don't want to get into my whole story but I have proof that MM do leave...because I'm one of those MM.

 

I was together with my exwife for 11 years and married for 3. The last couple of years together with her were very difficult and I had come to realize that although I still loved her very much our personalities were very incompatible.

 

Thats when I hooked up with my OW, a woman who I'd had known for several years and who I thought had a very similar personality and outlook on life. Right off the bat everything clicked, and it only keeps getting better with her every day. About 6 months after my affair started, I decided that things would never improve with my ex and I left and have not looked back.

 

That was about 6 months ago now. I still care very deeply for my ex, she is a great person and I wish her all the best, but I just couldn't live with her anymore. My ex knows that I am with my OW now, but she thinks that we hooked up after I left and does not know that I was seeing the OW before our split. I've never been happier than I have over the last 9 months or so. Me and the OW are so great together and although the law of averages is against us staying together in the long run, I am very certain I will never go back to my ex.

 

Now there are some huge differences in my story than a lot of the other MM stories I see here on LS:

 

1) I was already very unhappy in my marraige

2) I had a very good idea that I was going to be leaving my ex prior to starting up with my OW

3) I left my wife relatively quickly after I started up with my OW. I didn't give her empty promises that I knew I would never keep.

 

Just want to let you all know that it can and does happen.

 

The grass may not always be greener on the other side, but at least I don't have to mow it anymore!

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