Timmos Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I was curious. Aside from the usual (and expected) NC, full disclosure, informing the OM/OW, checking in, what did your WW/WH do during reconciliation to try and make it up to you? Link to post Share on other sites
peruano99 Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 Well I haven't been cheated of as I know. My dad's girlfriend however, cheated on him and got pregnant with another man's baby. They have a daughter together so they tried to work it out. She is remorseful and does many good things to my dad now. She has become a better person and I hope that they don't have any more problems in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
painfullyobvious Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 During the first few months of attempted reconciliation my ex tried to have sex with me a lot, did a lot of things that I complained about prior to D-Day like cleaning, spending time with me and asked for more one on one time. She began participating in the activities that I always did that she never did before. I am a runner and she started coming to my races and events. She was complaining that she always bored during these before because she had to just sit there for an hour while I ran. These were all things I wanted before D-Day that she was too busy for when she was cheating. She tried many things intimately like a few rolls in the hay would make my feelings of anger go away. She tried to be the perfect partner and I even remember the baby talk that she was afraid I was going to leave. This all lasted a few months and when she played the part long enough to make me think I was not going to leave she went back to cheating again. Reconciliation fail 1 Link to post Share on other sites
confusedandhurt2002 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 No contact, of course. Counseling with an individual counselor for himself, a marriage counselor, meeting or calling our pastor when things got tough between us (instead of running to a divorce lawyer), giving me all the passwords to all his online accounts, trying his best to learn how to communicate with me, reading and listening to information I sent him (only know this because he'd quote stuff to me when we were able to talk to each other without screaming. He also regularly hands me his phone and has invited me to come to his office and look through his emails there. The biggest thing is he is actually talking to me about his feelings..... Link to post Share on other sites
ChooseTruth Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 I was curious. Aside from the usual (and expected) NC, full disclosure, informing the OM/OW, checking in, what did your WW/WH do during reconciliation to try and make it up to you? She went to counseling (where she lied her ass off). She also would call me after class and come straight home. She failed on NC and full disclosure. We divorced. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NotCamelot Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Immediate NC. Cold turkey. 100% full disclosure. No secrets. Personality and attitude adjustment. More like the days when we first started 22 years ago. Kinder. More time for me. More affectionate. And I NEEDED that. And all of this continues now.....over 19 months since D-day. We are genuinely happy. I awoke this past Saturday to find her sitting up in bed staring and smiling at me. I asked what was up. She said, "I'm just happy." Man, that felt good! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katielee Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 He's doing everything. Or learning to at least, the best he can.,, Yet, it will never be enough to trade the pain and what happened. The "enough" is up to me and probably involves letting go, acceptance and forgiveness. Currently not happening. But I'm good with that. Nope, no making up for it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Snowflower Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 My fWH moved heaven and earth to get me quickly to a top notch cancer center when I was diagnosed. He did everything he could to give me the best chance to be cured. So, in my heart that makes up for his severe betrayal. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Gave me my freedom,she is out of my life. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Shattered2020 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Is there anything they can do? As I read here all I see is they are doing what they should have been doing all along. That alone certainly can not make up for all you have lost and all the pain we as Bs are going through. I don't think they can make up for it they can't they are human. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted December 27, 2013 Share Posted December 27, 2013 As a former BS, I take my hat off to all you folks who are trying to make a go of things after infidelity. My exH had sex in our home and in our bed with OW, spent our money taking her to hotels using the excuse that he'd gone fishing or at a football away game, and lied about it for 6 months. IMO those were the actions of someone who not only didn't love me, but didn't like me much either. He never seriously tried to reconcile, (never even apologised to me !) but I know I could never have attempted it. I knew there was nothing on God's earth that he could have said or done to make up for his dispicable behaviour. That's why he is an "ex"H". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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